Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?

Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?

Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is.

People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood.

And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains.

Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum

There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old.

Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life

"I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago"

People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind, their influence does not leave you.

Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered.

Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth.

A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better.

Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away

People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders.

These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware.

What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it.

This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive.

Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.

Rational Justifications Do NOT Penetrate the Subconscious Mind

Many well-intentioned people and spiritual mentors will agree that while injurious things may have been said and done, we should be mature or evolved enough to understand that our caretakers were doing the best they could.

After all, they didn't mean to hurt us with their harshness or neglect. Why don't we just rise above it and move on? Surely we are noble and generous-hearted enough to forgive them, yes?

Well, no, actually. And for two very important reasons.

First, this is an attempt to reason things out consciously. It is a fruitless activity, because it does nothing to reach and alter the core beliefs and distress that are stuffed down BEYOND conscious access.

And second, the person whose body and/or emotions were assailed was NOT an adult capable of reasoning things out so rationally. The early distress lives on unabated.

We Cannot Live With the Results

We may be able to carry on, but we cannot really live and flourish while those negative core beliefs remain frozen in time. The tragedy for so many of us is that they remain lodged firmly in place today, without our consent and without our conscious awareness.

Down With the Taboo Against Knowing Who We Are

Rather than continue to justify our ignorance, we must dare to bring the unconscious to conscious light. There are compelling reasons for doing so.

? To heal a mutilated sense of self-worth.
? To process our present moments through fresh eyes.
? To avoid becoming subtly mean, cruel or sarcastic.
? To prevent ourselves from unwittingly passing on our damage.

And finally, and perhaps most compelling of all, if traditional morality continues to deny us knowledge of ourselves and our history, our bodies will end up speaking for us. And this it will do by erupting into disease. Witness the alarming number of people who suffer from depression today.

Our psychological and emotional disturbances must eventually surface as some type of physical or mental malady. Or as I heard somewhere along the way, "If your mouth won't say it straight, your body will say it crooked."

And according to the title of Dr. Alice Miller's most recent book on the victimization of children, The Body Never Lies. Time spent digesting any of Dr. Miller's books is time well spent, indeed.

The greatest healing contribution any of us can make to world is to heal our own wounds, not hide from them or deny them or justify them. After all, we do want to live and not just survive, don't we?

Rosella Aranda is the author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to raising your sense of personal worth and getting rid of self-defeating behaviors.

Free Mini-Course at http://www.sabotagethyselfnomore.com/

Biggsville limousine Chicago airport .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

A new debate has emerged about whether airlines should charge passengers based on their weight to help reduce fuel consumption and lower emissions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Hipshipper, which is used by eBay, Shopify and Amazon sellers, exposed millions of shipping labels.

Boxabl’s Baby Box is a 120-square-foot foldable home that can be set up in 60 minutes and has off-grid features. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says it's designed to maximize functionality.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Major IoT data breach: Mars Hydro database with 2.7 billion records exposed. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the breach is a reminder of the risks that come with using IoT devices.

Unitree H1 robots dance at gala, blending AI and tradition. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson examines the convergence of cutting-edge technology and traditional culture.

For the first time ever, SpaceX launched a rocket into space from Florida and landed the booster the Bahamas, allowing for future polar-orbit spaceflight missions.

Attackers use caller ID spoofing and AI voices to steal money. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides seven ways to protect yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about the Genesis GV60 MIV, an electric rescue EV with snow tracks for extreme missions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you ensure a smooth online experience with a reliable, secure home network setup.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about Vollebak’s Shielding Suit, which blocks EM radiation, infrared and tracking for privacy.

Even Apple products are vulnerable to cybercriminals, and a new report suggests the owners of Mac products will have to be more vigilant this year.

An inflatable six-person tiny house from a firm called 2001 looks like a space station with its inflatable dome that is transportable and eco-friendly.

Scams cost Americans an estimated $159 billion every year and average about $3,500 in losses per victim. The CyberGuy has advice to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Zeekr and Waymo are joining forces for the world's first mass-produced autonomous vehicle, combining an electric vehicle with self-driving technology.

A humanoid robot training center has opened in Shanghai, a big step in China's efforts to become a global leader in robotics and artificial intelligence.

Security experts have discovered that hackers are targeting apps on the App Store to spread malware that steals information from saved screenshots.

A new luxury SUV combines military-inspired design and high-end luxury transportation and includes two military-grade gas masks to protect against chemical warfare.

80% of stalking victims are tracked using tech. GPS trackers, like AirTags, are among the most popular ways to do it. Here's how to protect yourself.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to protect yourself against artificial intelligence-fueled romance scams, which have become the most common type of fraud in 2025.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the steps to declutter text messages on a Mac or iPad. Apple offers ways to do this more efficiently.

Here's how to take control of the algorithms on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok if your social media feeds aren't showing you content you want to see.

Beware of iCloud scams using urgent messages. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you spot the red flags to protect yourself.

Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?

Positive Attitude Tips