I heard these words from a client who had been struggling for weeks to find peace in her estranged relationship with her daughter. Because she 'new better' she kept telling herself that her feelings were wrong and to shape up and get over it.
"I can't believe I took my daughter's comments personally and am angry again. When will I ever get this stuff?"
"Well," I replied, "What if you just accept that part of you that still takes things personally? What if you extended compassion to the hurt feelings and stopped making them wrong?"
She sat there stunned. "You mean, I can just accept rather than 'fix' them? It's OK that I don't do this spiritual stuff perfectly?"
At this point I had to laugh?"Well, you know, God would be out of a job if we all did this perfectly. And anyway ? when we forget, when our feelings get hurt and we react it's another opportunity to love ourself and extend compassion. That's how we learn compassion, by being compassionate with ourself."
The One-Two Dance of Compassion
Self-acceptance, opposite of self-condemnation, is the first step that invites an inner voice of compassion to replace negativity. Acceptance is not an agreement with an unwanted feeling, or a decision to act on it. Nor does it assign personal meaning to feelings by declaring, You're an abomination for being mad/hurt/resentful. Acceptance simply acknowledges the feelings presence ? without judgment. Like a bird in a tree, it just is - a truth the heart can warm up to.
Step two in increasing compassion and loving-kindness is choosing self-forgiveness. Opening the heart, accepting my feelings and forgiving the judgments replaces the hurt I carry inside with loving pardon. The release of self-imposed judgments becomes a deeply loving act. Vibrant connectedness to a place of inner strength quickly replaces long-held separation and fear.
Practicing step one and step two set my client on the road to peace and happiness. "I am loving me?right where I am." She went on to say, "And I have learned to ask myself, Do I choose the law of self-retribution and face my self-righteous sentencing, or do I choose the grace of acceptance, forgiveness and compassion?"
The alchemical process of applying the elixir of loving to hurt, and compassion to blame and shame transmutes the baseness of our human nature into gold - purity, strength and courage. We become a loving being. Past, present and future are then sanctified and in our heart, we experience a renewed, fresh enthusiasm for life.
How do you begin?
Take in a nice deep breath?let it go? and say to yourself
I accept this feeling of?
I accept that my life is?
I accept that my boss/husband/wife/son/daughter is?
I accept that I don't have all the answers
I accept this doesn't make sense.
Keep going. Pretty soon the mind will stop chattering and the wisdom of the heart will begin to awaken.
By Rebecca Skeele, author of You Can Make It Heaven: How to Enrich Your Life with Abundance and Loving
Her coaching and counseling business, Make It Heaven, LLC offers life changing courses and workshops inspiring people to become masterful at cocreating their personal heaven on earth. An ordained minister, Rebecca is an international workshop leader and speaker. Her new course, Becoming a Spiritual Scientist: A Course for Cocreators gives practical tools to move beyond story-based reality and begin living intentionally with divinity. http://www.spiritual-scientist.com
Please visit http://www.spiritual-scientist.com for more information.
Email:rebecca@makeitheaven.com
affordable house cleaning Wilmette ..Know thyself.These words were inscribed in the vestibule of the... Read More
So people will reject us no matter how good we... Read More
How would you like to stop feeling like your life... Read More
An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
Many of us allow our fear to stop us in... Read More
There are times in all of our lives where our... Read More
It really doesn't matter what your objectives are in this... Read More
There are always explanations for why things to you or... Read More
If we are the products of our attitudes then it... Read More
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More
"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More
Bernard always had a problem with money.He was always lacking... Read More
Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at... Read More
In talking with a coaching client recently, she made a... Read More
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More
Living without limits. Living your life to the fullest. Living... Read More
Early in my career a position became available which I... Read More
Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages,... Read More
At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and... Read More
I am an educator as well as a coach and... Read More
I don't want to say people are basically negative but?..if... Read More
Distortions are False Beliefs Programmed every Day by Self and... Read More
Thousands of dollars will be yours, just by using your... Read More
Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More
quick home cleaning Northbrook ..IntroductionDid your boss, took you for a ride? Did your... Read More
One day while in deep meditation and self analysis, a... Read More
This week's wisdom is on the power of living in... Read More
Our attitude makes seems to control just about everything about... Read More
We have often missed the mark because we believe we... Read More
" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More
Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who... Read More
I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More
I get emails and questions from people all the time... Read More
You know, very often, the manner in which a person... Read More
I'm often asked how it is that I stay so... Read More
Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On... Read More
By definition,an affirmation is a statement repeated time and again... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
With the probable exception of some basic instincts ? or... Read More
The surge of emotions.During the middle ages, the court jester... Read More
No one becomes successful by accident. Motivational speaker Les Brown... Read More
"You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine You Make Me... Read More
Resentment isn't a spectacular emotion, but it is long-lasting and... Read More
"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he... Read More
Problems, disappointments and trouble; the three skunks that sometimes think... Read More
You wake up in the morning sleepy and fatigued; the... Read More
Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More
? Make a list of all your accomplishments in life... Read More
Recently, a dear friend who has been both a coach... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |