Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel confusion - not only about what's happening but also about how we'll cope with it. This is especially true of negative change such as the loss of a romantic relationship, a job or a loved one. Of course, confusion is perfectly normal and natural, but it needn't get in the way of handling situations effectively and of accommodating any kind of change. Why? Because your personal path through change is probably predictable.

To be aware of this path and how it works can make the transition easier, perhaps faster, and definitely more effective.

There are four stages that each of us experiences as we traverse the landscape of major life change. Each has specific characteristics relating to how you may think, feel and act.

Think of the change process as a picture. Imagine a sort of "V" shape. In fact, on a piece of paper, draw a large letter "V" From left to right on the "V," label it as follows:

? Upper left: DENIAL. SHOCK is another word for this. You just can't believe that some big change is going to happen...or has. "This can't be happening," is a typical comment. Another way to deny is by IGNORING it...usually by attempting to wait until it all blows over. But it doesn't. And there's MINIMIZING by assuming, for instance, that "It just needs a few minor adjustments." It's possible to continue working in this phase, but sooner or later you feel the impact and MUST respond.

? Left side, line to the bottom of the letter: RESISTANCE. As time passes, things seem to get worse, stress increases. Often we resort to BLAME at this time; we COMPLAIN. You may become physically ill, feel physical symptoms. You may even begin to doubt that you can survive the change. A feeling of hopelessness, even depression, isn't uncommon. Actually, what's happening here, in the psychological sense, is that you're mourning the past -- rather than getting ready for the future. Be aware of the real danger that you could wallow in this place for quite some time. But remember, the next step is entirely up to you?it's your choice!

? Right side, line to the top of the letter: EXPLORATION. This important phase usually begins subtly...you just somehow feel better...you sleep through the night again...you realize that you actually have a chance of making it through. Your energy level rises, and you begin to conceive of the notion that there may be new possibilities. This is a great time to set goals, create positive directions, experiment with those "possibilities." A caution, though...don't be hasty at this time. Resist moving out of this phase before you've arrived at the very best situation you're capable of?that is, the highest level of confidence that your next move will be the right one. But remember, no matter what course you choose, there'll be risks as you navigate it.

? Right side, top of the letter: COMMITMENT. This phase begins when you focus on a new course of action...one you've decided upon, not one that's been thrust on you. At this point, the major growth within yourself has already happened, and your new assignment is to capitalize on it. Note that the shape of the "V" can be infinitely variable. A goal, of course, is to shorten the denial phase, to create a shallower penetration into resistance, perhaps to lengthen the exploratory phase a bit, and to move purposefully into the commitment area when you're ready.

There's a certain rhythm to the process of personal change. And seldom does it happen that you're facing only one challenge at a time; often you're in various phases of separate change processes all at once. Being aware of the process helps you to sort this all out and to prevent overload. It also gives you an opportunity to avoid getting stuck in any one phase. It also allows you to move through all stages, in order and in appropriate time frames, rather than to breeze through without examining the feelings and the process, only to run up against a psychological brick wall later. Again, we see that time is important. Don't be in too much of a hurry to come out the other side.

Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals and institutions through publication. His publishing company, OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction.

Email: pmcneese@opapublishing.com
Websites: pmcneese@opapublishing.com and pmcneese@opapublishing.com

car service from Midway Burlington .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a malware app called SpyLend is posing as a financial tool, hitting 100,000-plus downloads.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Clone Robotics’ Protoclone mimics humans with 1,000 muscles – too human for comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson urges you to use Apple’s App Privacy Report to see what your apps are really up to.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how to smoothly transfer your data from an old laptop to a new one using cloud storage or external drives.

Kurt the CyberGuy offers tips to safeguard your personal information as scammers become more sophisticated with scam texts and other methods.

WeRide's unmanned electric delivery van, the Robovan W5, has 194 cubic feet of cargo space and can carry payloads up to about 2,205 pounds

Kurt the CyberGuy recommends deleting 16 browser extensions immediately in response to a report saying more than 3.2 million web users were affected by a security breach.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A robotics firm in China claims a robot has performed the world's first humanoid robot front flip, which is significantly more difficult than a backflip.

A digital ID may be even more secure than a physical ID. Storing your driver's license in your Apple Wallet is an ideal solution for commuters.

A cybersecurity firm has shed some light on just how common tax scams have become. Kurt the CyberGuy offers his advice for how to protect your refund.

Lifesize Plans offers immersive walk-throughs that allow customers the opportunity to tour a home's design before construction actually begins.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

A man invested $4 million in bitcoin and lost it all with a single click when he was targeted by a vishing scam, which uses phone calls to trick people.

Expandable's Touchdown is a designer trailer that promises a luxury off-grid living experience and unfolds into a home in about 15 minutes.

Major employee screening company data breach affects 3.3 million people. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what happened and gives five ways to protect your data.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals mind-blowing tech that gives you sunlight on demand.

New malware "FrigidStealer" targets Mac computers. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from infostealer malware.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how lab-grown muscles power a biohybrid hand for scalable prosthetics and research.

Reports of task scams have significantly risen in the past four years, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some red flags.

iPhones have a hidden folder that eats up storage without you knowing it. Kurt the CyberGuy offers some tricks to free up storage on your device.

A recent ransomeware attack targeted Zacks, an American investment firm, and a cybercriminal claimed to have stolen records for millions of customers.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Researchers unveiled a new soft prosthetic hand that combines the natural coordination patterns of our fingers with the decoding of motoneuron activity in the spinal column.

Accidentally deleting a text message on your iPhone or iPad is not a problem if you still need the message. Apple has a built-in way to recover it.

Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable

Positive Attitude Tips