There are always explanations for why things to you or others. Even though you might not understand why. Some of the time, when things happen that you do not wish for, you may be tempted to throw your arms in the and wish ...
But me! I just say 'Great'. You know why?
No, I am not one of the lucky few. I have learned a very life defining skill. And that is to maintain perspective. Of course you have heard about 'perspective'? Let us work on this together now, please.
Perspective is one of those influencers that are instrumental in shaping your reality. It is not the only influencer, but it does play a pretty crucial role.
You (and you alone) determine your perspective. Never mind what is happening out there. You are ultimately responsible for your outlook, because you can control your self-confidence, your self-talk, as well as your expectancies.
These three are the components of perspective. Success is much more possible when these three components are positive.
Yes, it might be raining out there and the sheriff might be knocking at your door. You might be faced with a bankruptcy and your most trusted partner might have just dumped you. But... what is important when these things happen is the climate/environment you are creating and maintaining in your head. Your glorious status might be history, but how about rewriting your future? And here's how...
Self-confidence
It is important for you to remember that your perceptions of reality changes depending on how you feel about yourself at any given moment. Got that? If you are full of confidence, you diminish the power of outside factors, and your internal reality is charged up with resourcefulness. 'What if my self-confidence is so low because of the failures I have experienced'? I hear you ask.
Focus on the fundamentals and basics. That is what you do. Make sure you master the fundamentals and basics of whatever it is that you want to do. And when you can do the fundamentals right, you have taken the first steps in increasing your self-confidence.
Step two involves making sure that you achieve small incremental victories. Little by little. From one small victory to the next 'little bit' bigger victory. It might be necessary at this stage to achieve as many 'baby victories' as possible. Until you feel more 'confident' to handle bigger situations. In NLP they call it 'small chunking'. Break down your challenge into smaller, manageable components. Achieve success in each little components. Haven't you heard how you eat an elephant?
Self-talk
What do you say to yourself and about yourself when you are under pressure? Think about a particular incident? Was what you were saying then helpful, resourceful or was it discouraging?
Watch your words, because they might have a tendency of sabotaging your efforts at building self-confidence.
Your words communicate one of two things. They either communicate images of failure and helplessness or they communicate images of success and resourcefulness. If you communicate helplessness to yourself, especially when you are under pressure, you are not doing yourself any favor. Which would you prefer while you are building your self-confidence: a rhetoric of past failures or a message of hope and resourcefulness?
You can change the tape you want to hear. You can change what you tell yourself by:
a. monitoring your self-talk
b. using positive, concrete language and
c. maintaining perspective.
Ok, the title of this discussion is 'Forget Positive Thinking'. I bet you my last penny, positive thinking does not work. Especially if you are under severe pressure.
For me what has worked is the practicality of building my self-confidence, monitoring my self-talk, and maintaining perspective.
Ke o agile uses http://inthezone.port5.com/2daedge.htm to stay current in his field and to gain a competitive edge. You can too! Any one can at http://inthezone.port5.com/2daedge.htm
last minute cleaning help Arlington Heights ..Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More
In 1978, Erma Bombeck wrote a book entitled "The Grass... Read More
I'm a working mother with a preschooler, worrying about Mom... Read More
One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More
I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More
Imagine what your life would be like if you could... Read More
Byron and I started our first business full of enthusiasm... Read More
Fear is a double-edged sword. It can hold you back... Read More
In my work as a professional coach, I've had the... Read More
John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm... Read More
Once upon a time, I was a vibrant, youthful teenager...My... Read More
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take... Read More
Satisfaction 100% guaranteed or your money back! That was the... Read More
1. Smile2. Laugh3. Greet people courteously4. Be enthusiastic5. Dream. Engage... Read More
Q: I seem to beat myself before I ever get... Read More
Several years, I was listening to a radio talk show... Read More
A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted... Read More
Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Do you ever... Read More
As we enter this holiday season, and this time of... Read More
One of my class fellows was really tensed, when asked... Read More
Good morning I love you.This is a basic exercise, which... Read More
Would you like to be confident in the things you... Read More
Occasionally people will ask me how I keep a positive... Read More
If you think you are a loser, you train or... Read More
You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More
same day cleaning service Wilmette ..What I mean of course is, to appreciate life through... Read More
Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More
I don't want to say people are basically negative but?..if... Read More
Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More
I'm lucky.When I was fifteen, I was the sole survivor... Read More
All the problems that any individual has in their lives... Read More
Did you know that our thoughts may be influencing our... Read More
Life is an enigma...It starts without our knowledge, grows without... Read More
Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More
Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at... Read More
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis... Read More
The most happy and successful people on earth have a... Read More
"Those people who think they can do something and those... Read More
Look for the positives!Seek them out - those little scary... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
Do you wish you had high self-confidence? Some of us... Read More
There are times in all of our lives where our... Read More
A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted... Read More
Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
Thinkers know better than to be racist. It's generally understood... Read More
In frustration it's easy to jump to false conclusions that... Read More
If your life is difficult--if it's challenging, exasperating, and vexatious--... Read More
One day while in deep meditation and self analysis, a... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |