Feelings and Attitudes

Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict?

Feelings are what they are. We can't force them. The phrase "I can't help how I feel" keeps rattling around in my head as I write this. There is no magical way to change how we feel. They aren't right or wrong, they just exist. Feelings are very powerful and definitely have a control over how we make choices and how we move through life. We will do almost anything to avoid feeling bad. Think about the money, time, and focus we put into trying to feel good and avoiding feeling bad. That's not a bad thing, it's the nature of feelings. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad.

Feelings are based in emotions. Emotions come from the heart. Therefore, I don't think we can change them from within our logical minds. If your favorite pet dies, then you feel sad. You cannot be expected to simply stop feeling sad. You will feel some level of sadness until you have finished feeling sad. It is possible to distract yourself for awhile, but the feelings will just lay dormant until you allow them time to fully run their course. There's nothing wrong with wanting to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your pet, but it will slow down the process. There are constructive things you can do to aid the processing of your feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you're going to feel what you feel until it works it's way through your heart. You might always miss that pet and feel a slight tug at your heart when you think back, but the overwhelming sadness will eventually pass. It always does. That's why they say 'time heals all wounds.' You can't maintain any one feeling indefinitely. Emotions by nature are shifting and uncontrollable. They simply are what they are.

What about our attitudes? An entire multi-million dollar industry has been built around the power of a positive attitude. The industry wouldn't have survived and thrived as it has if it wasn't a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted in our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it is possible to make a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don't think I need to bore you with another longwinded speech about the powers of a positive attitude. If you've ever tried it, then you have proven for yourself that it is possible to make an internal adjustment regarding your attitude.

So, which is stronger? Which has more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let's say that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That's a feeling, an emotion. It comes from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude comes from your mind. Which will win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It's hard to say. If you change your attitude, then the feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps become a wonderful source of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an effect on your attitude, but your attitude wins out more often.

Your attitude is not more powerful because it's more important than your feelings. It's more powerful because it's more stubborn than your feelings. Let's look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We've seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were not able to overpower their attitude. They believe 'it's never going to work out anyway' and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to further continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The same dynamic holds true regardless of topic. The reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force.

What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you might fail at your goals, but you had a positive attitude and deep down you believed in yourself, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again.

If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn't this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude comes from your head and feelings come from your heart. When the two agree you are able to focus and move forward with confidence. When the two are at war you have to decide which is right? the heart's feelings or the head's attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we can evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us, our feelings or our attitudes.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.

www.tomorrowsedge.net

Willow Springs limo O'Hare .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
In The News:

Microsoft patches 12 critical flaws, but six have already been exploited by criminals. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says updating your system is only a short-term fix.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how robots can milk, feed and clean cows on dairy farms, boosting efficiency and comfort.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says quantum internet ensures unhackable security and redefines online privacy and speed.
Kawasaki's CORLEO is a hydrogen-powered, AI-driven rideable robot. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports on this new way of thinking about off-road transportation.
The CyberGuy breaks down five mobile privacy terms that could make a difference when it comes to keeping your personal information safe.
A groundbreaking robot that's like a real-life Wall-E uses advanced artificial intelligence to replicate natural gestures and deliberate actions with striking accuracy.
If not properly managed, Windows Defender Application Control, a security feature with Windows, could be a potential security vulnerability.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
FlashBot Arm, a semi-humanoid robot, acts more like a human than traditional robots, and you may see it working at a restaurant, healthcare center or hotel.
There are multiple ways to find your missing Android phone after it goes missing. One method involves using a smartwatch to ping your phone.
The NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System is a new device with FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.
The CyberGuy provides tips to protect yourself from criminals who use various methods to make unauthorized transactions using your account information.
New drone technology maps land and water with stunning accuracy, giving researchers and conservationists a new way to understand our planet.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
X hit with massive data breach with 200 million records leaked, including emails. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers seven tips to help protect yourself.
Atlas robot by Boston Dynamics amazes tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson with its breakdancing moves.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Google kept Android SafetyCore details quiet until it scanned users' photos.
Hydrogen trucks debut in Georgia, sparking debates on costs and green freight gains. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson comments on this promising chapter in green logistics evolution.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says ChatGPT learns from chats, but you should avoid sharing sensitive information to protect your privacy.
Beyond Aero's BYA-1: Hydrogen-electric jet with zero emissions, reduced costs, 2030 launch. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses a potential game changer in the evolution of air travel.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how you can creatively repurpose your old unused Android devices, which are full of potential and hidden value.
Mech the super-humanoid robot can lift up to 132 pounds and is designed to tackle stressful and repetitive tasks that often lead to workplace injuries.
Double-clicking is something we all do, often without giving it a second thought. But it could be giving hackers permission to do something dangerous.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Kurt the CyberGuy offers some of his easy expert tips to free up storage space on your Android if your device is running short on storage.

Perfect to the Penny

At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More

Knowing the Power of Positive Thinking

In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More

Life, The Greatest Ride of All

Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever... Read More

Your Mental Attitude is The Key!

As a being of thought, your dominant mental attitude will... Read More

A Day in Your Life: 17 Ways to Make it a Special Day

A day in your life is a brief and precious... Read More

Moving? Pack an Emotional First Aid Kit

From Making the Big Move: how to transform relocation into... Read More

A Good Joke Can Lighten the Mood

A joke is a way of getting people to laugh.... Read More

Developing Self-Esteem

It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More

Dissolving Stereotypes through Personal Individuality

The other evening, I was meticulously assembling and painting one... Read More

Prisoner of Attitude

"Thinking is responsible for man's primacy on earth today. Existence... Read More

Creating Positive Environments, Part 1: Using Art

One of our most active senses is sight. What we... Read More

Why You Must Learn to Forgive for the Sake of Your Own Happiness

Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More

Self-Recovery from Addiction: Taking Responsibility for Your Life

I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while... Read More

Being Assertive

Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether... Read More

Seeing Through Fear

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is... Read More

As A Man Thinketh...

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More

What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It

(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More

Attitude Adjustment 101: Nine Ways to Transform You From Mediocre to Magnificent

"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More

Using Power Affirmations on ePosters

I believe that one of the best ways to stay... Read More

Universal Mind

"There is an infinitely worthier subject for philosophers (to study)... Read More

Find Your Inner Strength to Tackle Any Challenge

Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More

Oh for a Really Good Day!

What's wrong with me? When I'm sick I get grumpy... Read More

The 5 Words That Are Ruining Your Life

How would you like to stop feeling like your life... Read More

Making Conflict Productive

Conflict is unavoidable. How we respond to it makes a... Read More

Prescience

"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More

group transportation logistics management Highland ..