Does the thought of failure send a cold shiver down your spine? Failure is the thing most of us spend the greatest amount of energy trying to avoid. What is failure?
In reality, when you strip away all the emotions attached to the word, failure is only feedback. Failure means that we tried a strategy and it did not work. So what should we do? It's simple. We should try something else.
Human beings learn by failure, by understanding what does not work, and by continuing to adjust their strategies until they find out what does work. As young children, we were very familiar with "failure" when we were trying to learn how to walk. How many of us decided one day "Gee, the walking that those adults do looks pretty interesting. I think I'll do it too." and then we got up without a hitch and started walking. Hardly. All of us made countless attempts trying find out what to do so we could walk without constantly falling down. As we were learning to walk, we received constant support and praise from the adults in our lives to keep on trying.
Then somewhere down the line we were taught not to take risks, to play it safe, to only do what we knew would bring us success. We have been taught that if we try something and it does not work out as we planned, some terrible event will occur. People will point to us and say, "Look at him. He tried to do _______, but he failed." Oh the shame. So most people will play it safe and never strive to reach their full potential because they might (gasp) fail.
It is true that when we strive to do something that is new for us, we might fail. As a matter of fact, we might fail many times, but only by risking failure will we ever be able to grow. People might also remind us of our failures and tell us they knew it would not work. These people never fail because they never try to accomplish anything with their lives. If you are failing, at least you are doing something.
If you are failing, you are in great company. Most of the super achievers in history failed more often than anyone else. The difference is that they did not let the failure (or the negative comments from others) defeat them. They just continued to modify their strategies until they found what worked. They did not quit. They knew what they wanted and they did not give up until they achieved their goal. When Thomas Edison was attempting to discover the light bulb he was not met with much support from the scientific community. As a matter of fact, they thought he was crazy to try to invent something that was clearly impossible. A young reporter interviewed Edison and asked him, "Mr. Edison, how can you continue to try to invent the light bulb when you have failed over 5,000 times." To which Thomas Edison replied, "Young man, I have not failed 5,000 times. I have successfully discovered 5,000 ways that do not work and I do not need to try them again." This is a great way to interpret failure -- as a learning experience.
A powerful way to deal with failure is to ask yourself "What is or could be positive in this situation?" This allows you to obtain some benefit from the experience and then to move on. Very often, we achieve our greatest success right after we have experienced our worst defeat. Nathaniel Hawthorne was a published writer, although he had never achieved remarkable success in the field. Then in 1849, a turning point occurred in his life -- he lost his full time job. He dedicated the following year to writing The Scarlett Letter which became a classic novel in American Literature. Hawthorne turned a defeat into success.
The bottom line is that we should embrace "failure." Because if we are failing, we are learning; and if we are learning, we are growing. And growing is really what life is all about.
About The Author
Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine - send blank e-mail to della@dellamenechella.com.
cleaning team near Winnetka ..The quality of your life is directly related to your... Read More
It started out as a windy, rainy day. A tropical... Read More
No matter how positive a person we are overall, there... Read More
Let's say you're ready to change some aspect of your... Read More
Decades ago, I saw a metaphysical movie that wonderfully illustrates... Read More
Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More
Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at... Read More
I need your help. I did a good deed recently,... Read More
One of the first things that I work on with... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
Why do we help others? There is a whole lot... Read More
Often, I've come across individuals who, while in conversation, will... Read More
When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine... Read More
A confidence crisis is looming with a recent study showing... Read More
Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More
Are you undergoing a major life change? Or merely trying... Read More
Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More
"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More
As if choreographed and rehearsed the night before, one lays... Read More
Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does... Read More
I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More
So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More
We hear a lot these days about accepting responsibility for... Read More
Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More
There is an old joke about a man who is... Read More
family-safe home cleaners Northbrook ..Attitude, has a way of preening itself, often without awareness... Read More
Problems, disappointments and trouble; the three skunks that sometimes think... Read More
Most of us love to think that our problems are... Read More
Bernard always had a problem with money.He was always lacking... Read More
As I swooshed down the Zoom Flume water slide at... Read More
Not Amen, just so we're clear on that.AND.The little connector... Read More
P.M.A - so what is it? Some people will automatically... Read More
From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More
I went online -- and what do I see? A... Read More
A Model of the dysfunctional, unconscious human psyche. A way... Read More
Question: "It's only three months. Or six months. Or a... Read More
Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More
Are you undergoing a major life change? Or merely trying... Read More
They're out there? they look like people you know, but... Read More
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More
Life is an enigma...It starts without our knowledge, grows without... Read More
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
Many of us allow our fear to stop us in... Read More
It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More
At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More
So, is this really where you thought you'd be? You're... Read More
The way to define your personality is to refine your... Read More
For most of us our lives are a problem which... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |