In my work as a professional coach, I've had the opportunity to interact with hundreds of individuals. I've found that people who are successful and fulfilled share common characteristics.
*They believe their success has very little to do with what they have, and everything to do who they are.
*They hold an ideal about the kind of person they want to be.
*They're willing to step into that vision, and hold themselves accountable to high behavioral standards.
The quality of your life is predicated by the manner in which you participate in it. Your participation is based on who you believe you are. Unquestionably, you have beliefs about who you are, even if you've never consciously considered them. Today, I challenge you to examine and expand on these beliefs. I challenge you to develop not only an understanding of the person you are today, but a solid vision of the person you dream of becoming.
Your Ideal Self
To create an ideal reality, you must develop a vision, which is an idea about how you'd like the future to be. It's a clear picture of what you'd like to create, and can be a source of motivation, supporting you through the challenges involved in making your dreams come true.
An ideal is a principle or standard worth trying to achieve. Your ideal self is the person that you've always imagined being, and encompasses all the power, strength, and integrity, you've aspired to. This ideal invokes a sense of confidence, pride, and serenity, and is you, at your best.
There are three steps involved in defining this amazing person. First, you must connect with the qualities or character traits that guide her behavior... Once you've defined these individual characteristics, you need to identify the behavioral standards that she holds herself to. Finally, you must decide that you are going to show up in your life acting "as if" you are already this person. Let's move through each step.
Your Character Traits
All of us possess positive and negative characteristics. It's important to identify all of your personal characteristics as you develop your vision of the person that you're committed to being. Make a list of the positive traits you'd like to incorporate in your ideal vision, and the negative tendencies you'd like to manage. In my work with clients, I've found the following approaches helpful in defining these qualities.
Other People's Traits
The qualities we notice in others have meaning. Both the qualities you admire and dislike have stories to tell. The qualities we most respond to in another, whether positive or negative, are qualities we possess, but have yet to recognize in ourselves.
If you find yourself responding to a person you recognize as outgoing, positive, and energetic, these may be qualities you possess, but have not fully embraced or developed. In kind, if you react to the overbearing nature of another individual, you may need to recognize your own tendency to be overbearing.
The Traits of Our Past
We've all experienced moments where we shined. Your may have accomplished something extraordinary. You could have experienced pride as a result of persevering through a difficult situation, or been touched by your ability to contribute to another person's life. It's at these times you were applying the positive traits you naturally possess.
Conversely, we've all had experiences that filled us with regret. Perhaps you spoke harshly to someone you care for, or were impatient when with your child or mate. It's in these moments your negative traits were at play. Once you've defined the building blocks of your behavior, you're ready to consider the way that you'd like to show up in your life.
Your Code of Conduct
I'm not suggesting you move into life with the persona of Pollyanna. I'm suggesting you consciously develop a set of standards to govern how you're committed to behaving. In coaching, we refer to this as a Code of Conduct. Your Code of Conduct defines how you'll behave, and determines how others experience you, and how you experience life. What commitments are you willing to make about how you'll conduct yourself?
Act As If
Change doesn't happen over night, but it can be conditioned over time. Once you've defined your ideal self and your Code of Conduct, you'll have a structure to support your behavior. Your next step requires you to begin living as the person you've envisioned. Your opportunity to be this person lives in each moment of your life.
Every morning, remind yourself about the person you want to be, and reconnect with that vision whenever you begin to slip back into old patterns of behavior. Allow yourself to make mistakes. You will, and that's okay. The commitment you've made to these new standards will gradually meld into the beliefs you hold about who you are. Soon, you won't be reminding yourself that you're a nurturing person; you'll be one. You won't be managing your impatience; you will have become more patient. It will happen slowly, but it will happen. Take baby steps. You are walking a new road. Put one foot in front of the other, pace yourself, and stay connected to your ideal.
About The Author
Life and Business Design Expert Kim Fulcher is the founder, president and CEO of Compass Life and Business Designs, a professional coaching, training, and publishing company. Her work as an entrepreneur, company leader, author, speaker, and business coach has resulted in her national recognition as an expert in personal and professional success.
Kim works with her clients to maximize their business results while balancing their busy lives, and speaks to organizations throughout The United States on subjects ranging from leadership to life balance. She is the author of the upcoming book "Remodel Your Reality; Seven Steps to Rebalance Your Life and Reclaim Your Passion" and co-author of "Lead With Purpose. Live With Passion. A Femalepreneur's Guide to Small Business Success".
For a free weekly dose of inspiration and for a host of free tools and products, visit our site at http://www.compasslifedesigns.com.
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More
Well you know about the young hero who saved his... Read More
It's a fact of life - if you want to... Read More
While trying to ignore my teen daughters rap music a... Read More
Normally I race around multitasking. I am always thinking about... Read More
"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More
Recently, a dear friend who has been both a coach... Read More
Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More
Apart form the Emotions and the attitude, Anger is a... Read More
I'm often asked how it is that I stay so... Read More
Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More
No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More
When I was little I was very busy--as I imagine... Read More
The quality of your life is directly related to your... Read More
If I say the word "CHANGE" how do you feel?... Read More
Henry Ford, after he had achieved great success, was the... Read More
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
You have probably noticed those people at work, school, and... Read More
The infamous "glass ceiling" is blamed for business issues for... Read More
Need a way to make your life a better place... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
I am often astounded at what and why people believe... Read More
If you are a parent, it is up to you... Read More
Philippians 4:6-do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at... Read More
When we were children, we were fearless. We would stick... Read More
The way to define your personality is to refine your... Read More
Have you ever considered that you may be subconsciously sabotaging... Read More
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
My story explains the struggles I had as a 23-year-old... Read More
A Model of the dysfunctional, unconscious human psyche. A way... Read More
I have studied the idea of changing thoughts to create... Read More
Studies show that men and women profit most with having... Read More
Part 1Recently, in a women's therapy group that I run,... Read More
Our thoughts define who we are. They can make us... Read More
Hey gang; Ok it's time to create some good habits.... Read More
Did you ever run into that person that just nags... Read More
Ever had a problem with doubts? Ever felt that nagging... Read More
Have you heard of the FABS? The FABS are quadruplets;... Read More
The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness... Read More
I'm getting calls from folks who say, "I hear you... Read More
The others in the raft didn't seem to share Eddie's... Read More
With the beginning of a new year, are you happy... Read More
The power of positive thoughts to affect one's experience of... Read More
Most of us love to think that our problems are... Read More
The infamous "glass ceiling" is blamed for business issues for... Read More
Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You... Read More
Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |