"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
About The Author
David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://thehappyguy.com), author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://thehappyguy.com For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://thehappyguy.com)
scheduled cleaning services Winnetka ..Thank you is such a beautiful phrase. When you say,... Read More
I heard these words from a client who had been... Read More
ARE YOU IN... OR OUT?Are you in or out of... Read More
Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More
Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More
Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to... Read More
The most happy and successful people on earth have a... Read More
Our lives are overflowing with negative information from the newspapers,... Read More
Every emotion, wether we classify it as good or bad,... Read More
One thing that is important to realize about thought: one... Read More
Changing your mindset can have a significant impact on achieving... Read More
Few people are aware of the thoughts that pass through... Read More
Many of you may look at my title and wonder... Read More
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass... Read More
Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so... Read More
We have often missed the mark because we believe we... Read More
You already have all the resources you need to accomplish... Read More
"Spiritual Intelligence" (SI) is the ability of a person to... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
No one likes rejection. And yet it happens. Here's how... Read More
There was someone I used to work with who, well... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
As I swooshed down the Zoom Flume water slide at... Read More
There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More
Why do we really need the experiences that we have... Read More
reliable maid service Lincolnshire ..One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More
Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More
As if choreographed and rehearsed the night before, one lays... Read More
I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More
It took me a long time to realise the benefits... Read More
Do you wish you had high self-confidence? Some of us... Read More
In many ways the Star War movies are simply a... Read More
As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More
Distortions are False Beliefs Programmed every Day by Self and... Read More
As we enter this holiday season, and this time of... Read More
? Make a list of all your accomplishments in life... Read More
"Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side... Read More
So what is a limiting belief?Don't you love the current... Read More
So, do you love yourself?Shouldn't really be a difficult question... Read More
Q: I seem to beat myself before I ever get... Read More
I encountered several interesting people that really taught me something.... Read More
Self belief is a wonderful thing.I know from my own... Read More
I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a... Read More
I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother... Read More
One thing in life is certain---change. Things never stay the... Read More
Many of us allow our fear to stop us in... Read More
Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
The Alchemists of old worked over many years, centuries, in... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |