"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
About The Author
David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://thehappyguy.com), author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://thehappyguy.com For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://thehappyguy.com)
recurring cleaning service Wilmette ..Visualization is the art of using ones imagination to influence... Read More
From experience, one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people... Read More
One thing that is important to realize about thought: one... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
There is a growing volume of research that shows' staying... Read More
1. Smile2. Laugh3. Greet people courteously4. Be enthusiastic5. Dream. Engage... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self... Read More
One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More
I once heard the story of a grown bear that... Read More
With the probable exception of some basic instincts ? or... Read More
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
One day while in deep meditation and self analysis, a... Read More
Ten tips to transform your move into a creative life... Read More
Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More
Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More
If you think you are a loser, you train or... Read More
Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More
Say aloud:I AM. I AM Consciousness. I AM the creator... Read More
Why do we really need the experiences that we have... Read More
One of the most well known books ever written on... Read More
Remember Des'ree? She had a great song out in 1994,... Read More
Everyone faces challenges during their life, from suffering the death... Read More
reliable maid service Morton Grove .."Those people who think they can do something and those... Read More
At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More
For the twelve hundred hostages, most especially Timur Kasumova.It's a... Read More
How are you? That's a loaded question, and I'll tell... Read More
Gail's StoryGail is a friend of mine and she was... Read More
In many ways the Star War movies are simply a... Read More
The others in the raft didn't seem to share Eddie's... Read More
"Spiritual Intelligence" (SI) is the ability of a person to... Read More
It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More
" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More
You want to change your self-care habits and you can't... Read More
If you think you are a loser, you train or... Read More
"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More
Bernard always had a problem with money.He was always lacking... Read More
Keep focusing on the fullness of your life: Keep remembering... Read More
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or... Read More
Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them?... Read More
When you look at your future in terms of your... Read More
As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More
How you feel about yourself truly does affect your interaction... Read More
This week's wisdom is on the power of living in... Read More
When I was a young man, even a teenager for... Read More
Did you know that our thoughts may be influencing our... Read More
Philippians 4:6-do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,... Read More
When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |