Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Dealing with Criticism and Rejection

Dealing with Criticism and Rejection

Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at school, you just received a really harsh performance evaluation from your boss, you got turned down by the girl you asked out, or you didn't get the job you interviewed for, rejection and criticism hurts. I won't tell you not to take it personally, because it is personal. You are the one who was criticized. You are the one who was rejected. No matter how much self-confidence you have a part of you cringes every time someone rejects you or criticizes you. You are the one who has to get rid of that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach. What do you do to make yourself feel better?

You could be angry or revengeful, but that won't actually make you feel wanted and admired. Quite often it can bite you in the rear end too. You may have been a really close #2 for that promotion at work. The girl who turned you down for the date might have been in the middle of breaking up with someone and was thinking that you would be a good companion later on down the road. Your boss may actually like you a lot and it may be his boss who told him that he was being too nice during the performance evaluations and that he needed to be tougher. You don't always know for sure why you are being criticized or why you were rejected. If your gut response is to do something vengeful, there's a good chance that you're closing the door on any future acceptance by those same people. There's no long-term benefit in alienating others who might have cared about you or admired your work at a later time.

You could just assume that the other person is stupid or wrong and completely ignore them and their opinions of you. The problem with this approach is that you may have been able to find nuggets of truth in their criticisms that you could have used for personal growth. Not all criticism is meant to be destructive and mean. Constructive criticism can be hard to take but extremely useful. My daughter had heard that a dear friend of hers was being made fun of at school because he had bad breath and the kids thought he was homosexual because of some clothing choices. She wrestled with the decision for a long time before she finally decided to come forward and tell him what was being said behind his back. He was mortified but he was also able to make some changes in his personal hygiene and his wardrobe choices. Ultimately he chose to take the course of self-improvement and succeeded in drastically changing his public image for the better. The same can be true if the criticisms are coming from a coworker, a best friend, a boss, a family member. The key here is to consider the person who is offering the criticism. How are they saying it? What is their real heartfelt intentions behind delivering a criticism. If you trust them and believe that they genuinely mean well, then consider what they are saying and whether or not they may have a valid point. A bit of constructive criticism can be horrible to swallow but ultimately the best thing that can happen to you.

You could obsess over what they've said. I have had readers write in to tell me that my articles stink. One in particular hated an article I wrote about picking and choosing a couple of good causes to donate your time to rather then trying to do it all. She obviously didn't read the article because she thought that I was saying that I personally could single handedly save the world, healing it of all it's problems. The whole point of the article was to find balance between our desire to do it all and the realities of what our talents, assets, and overall lifestyles would really allow us to fix. My gut response was to be very hurt and angry at the reader's harsh words and her ugly assessment of me as a person and as a writer. The truth is, she obviously didn't read the article. If she had she would see that I absolutely agreed with her that I can not fix all of the problems of the world all by myself. To obsess over her criticism of my article would have ruined my entire day and would have kept me from being able to get anything done. Her letter is a perfect example of the idea that sometimes you have to completely ignore the person who is rejecting you. Some times people have problems or issues of their own and what they are doing is venting at you and criticizing you without even considering what they are saying or who you really are. You have to ask yourself, "Is this particular person's opinion of me accurate? Does their opinion of me really even matter?" Sometimes the answer is no. "No they don't know what they are talking about and no I really don't care what they think of me." If this is one of those times, then there is really no reason for you to obsess over what they've just said to you.

For your own sake, I would recommend taking your emotional heart out of the situation. Do not allow your heart to make the evaluations as to whether or not the rejections or criticisms in your life are valid or not. From a logical position you can ask the person who turned you down why they made that choice. Was the other person more qualified for the job? Did the kids at school catch you picking your nose in public? Were they having a bad day? How can you improve yourself so as to safeguard yourself from future criticisms and rejections? Stand up straight, walk tall, and don't let them see you sweat!

John Samtron, is the editor for http://www.self-confidence.tv.

All the resources you will need to improve your level of self-confidence are right here on http://www.self-confidence.tv. By using these resources you will feel like a new person in no time. We offer our visitors two tools designed to help them develop better self-confidence. We offer a FREE self-confidence interactive course and Unbreakable Confidence ? the most comprehensive self-confidence eBook available today on the Internet.

executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car

In The News:

Getting virus alerts on your iPhone? Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to handle fake scam alerts and boost security.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says opening emails is safe, but risks arise from interacting with links, attachments or HTML content.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals four signs of compromised Social Security numbers and offers five steps to protect yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how MAB Robotics' Honey Badger 4.0, a versatile robot, now walks underwater with amphibious skills.

An updated Android trojan called FakeCall hijacks bank calls. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Android phone manufacturers and Google need to step up their game on security.

The Massimo Modular E9 is a sleek, smart and comfy tiny home in 409 square feet. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson takes a closer look at what the future of housing might look like.

Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.

Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.

A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.

Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.

Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.

Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.

Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.

Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.

More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.

UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.

Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.

Dealing with Criticism and Rejection

Positive Attitude Tips