Most of what we've been taught about how to be happy, how to be successful, how to get what we want was well intended ? but wrong.
We've been told that we have to work hard to succeed and when we're a success we'll be happy. Maybe that's true ? if we're clear about what we need to be happy. Too many of us have been misled by well-meaning parents, teachers, spouses and employers to believe that success means big houses, fancy cars, luxury vacations and bulging bank accounts.
Few would disagree that those are our society's measure of success and nice to have, but too often they don't bring happiness. Instead, they often lead to addictions, illnesses, wounded children and divorce, which can lead to unhappiness, loneliness and financial woes.
The good news is that you can change your thinking and change your life. I know, because I did.
I was a workaholic for most of my adult life until breast cancer forced me to slow down and take a look at the messages that had driven me to be so driven. I remembered an experience I'd had years before, when I went to a hypnotherapist and, in trance, was more relaxed than I'd ever been in my life.
"What would you have to do to feel like this all the time," he asked. And I knew immediately. I'd have to let go of being so attached to the way things turned out. What was I attached to? Everything!
I was attached to people saying and doing certain things (even in the past, so I kept rehashing old dialogs so I'd get to say what I hadn't said then), I was attached to my saying and doing certain things. I was attached to motorists being courteous, check-out clerks being efficient, my clients buying lots of product, my boss being able to lead, my neighbors being quiet? well, you get the picture.
On the way home I asked myself, what if I let go of my attachments to outcomes? What if I turned what I wanted into a goal, instead?
I discovered it was easy to tell the difference. I could work hard to reach a goal and if I didn't make it I was okay. I'd learn from the experience and try again. When I was attached, not getting what I wanted, or even thinking I might not get it would trigger a wash of an unpleasant emotion ? anger, fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, frustration, victimization, etc. Whenever I recognized I was attached, I'd ask myself: just this once, can I let go of my attachment to this? Can I turn it into a goal, instead? Almost always, the answer was yes.
The advantage to having goals instead of attachments is that you can reasonably work toward having what you want without being so stressed and stressing that you lose your health or your family. You can let go of your attachments to living life the way society tells you you "should," and discover what truly makes you happy.
You don't have to have breast cancer (other cancer, stroke, heart attack, etc.) to learn what I learned. Practice letting go of your attachments to outcomes, change your thinking and you will change your life.
Karin Ireland, author of the award-winning Learning to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and Other Life Dilemmas and 10 Practices That Will Bring You Peace, Confidence and Success: The Workbook is a popular speaker, workshop leader, and personal coach. Visit her at http://www.irelandcommunications.com
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carDid you know that our thoughts may be influencing our... Read More
Several years, I was listening to a radio talk show... Read More
I'm getting calls from folks who say, "I hear you... Read More
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger... Read More
How you feel about yourself truly does affect your interaction... Read More
Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who... Read More
Never used 'em. Not likely to start now.OK, so I... Read More
The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable,... Read More
You got up today to go to work, to come... Read More
"The knowledge of actions or events before they occur; foresight."You... Read More
There is a growing volume of research that shows' staying... Read More
"Thinking is responsible for man's primacy on earth today. Existence... Read More
I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother... Read More
I went online -- and what do I see? A... Read More
Good morning I love you.This is a basic exercise, which... Read More
Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After... Read More
There are times in all of our lives where our... Read More
Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More
Are you undergoing a major life change? Or merely trying... Read More
Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More
Does negative thinking pay? Is it desirable for me to... Read More
Many people don't really understand the gift they have been... Read More
Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages,... Read More
Woe is me... life has dealt me a bad hand...... Read More
HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..I get emails and questions from people all the time... Read More
There is a growing volume of research that shows' staying... Read More
In view of the increasing negative events happening around the... Read More
Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More
One of the biggest potential problems we face with every... Read More
Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Do you ever... Read More
During these times of uncertainty in the outside world, look... Read More
Many of us allow our fear to stop us in... Read More
It has been said that CHANGE is THE only constant.... Read More
Philosophy of Forgiveness:The most powerful tool that human beings possess... Read More
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
James Allen, who wrote the masterpiece, As a Man Thinketh,... Read More
Ever witnessed an incident that needed to be reported to... Read More
When you're feeling "low," or out of the flow, it's... Read More
Never Quitting Equals Success Most people who achieve fortunes in... Read More
Henry Ford, after he had achieved great success, was the... Read More
WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
You've heard the buzzwords: Attitude is everything! Change your perspective!... Read More
I'm a working mother with a preschooler, worrying about Mom... Read More
I was always somebody who felt quite sorry for myself,... Read More
When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware... Read More
Think for a moment about all of the signals people... Read More
The other day I bought an unusual piece of software:... Read More
"Who am I fooling?" "I'm a loser," "I'm too old,"... Read More
How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |