Home
>
Positive Attitude Tips
>
Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe when it popped into my head a few days ago.

We don't like to think about our "ugly parts," do we? By ugly parts of course I mean those aspects of ourselves we perceive to be less than perfect. For some it might be physical flaws like acne, jiggly thighs or a persistent pot belly no matter how many hours we spend in the gym. For others there may be emotional issues like fears, phobias or low self-esteem.

One lesson I keep having to learn over and over in my own life is that the more I resist these aspects of myself, the more I hate them and push them away and try to ignore them, the bigger and more dominant they become. My resistance gives them power over me.

What if we stopped pushing away these aspects of ourselves? What if we (gasp!) accepted them, loved them, embraced them? What happens to them?

For most of my adult life, I've been a cat owner (or I should say, they owned me). Several of them were strays when I took them in, and they were in terrible shape. Covered in fleas, worm infestations, coat and eyes dull. Part of it was their physical health and lack of proper diet, which I remedied over the following weeks. But on a deeper level, these animals were starving for love and affection. I eased that too, by petting them, talking to them, conveying with and without words that they mattered, they were worthy of being loved deeply and fully. And they responded to that.

As the weeks went by, a light would begin to shine in their eyes. They would become more playful and seem happier and more content. Eventually, they no longer resembled the tattered creatures that had come through my door. They were glowing with life and vitality. Their coats became soft and silky, their eyes were bright and alert and they seemed genuinely at peace. Love Transforms. It's as simple as that. Anyone who has loved deeply or has been loved deeply can attest to that.

So how does that apply to our "ugly parts?" What would happen if we loved them and embraced them? Would they transform into something more beautiful? Maybe, maybe not. Those parts of ourselves may exist for a reason, and we may not be able to change them. However, if we can't transform those, maybe we can still transform our perception of them. They will no longer appear "ugly" to us. They simply become one small aspect of our total selves. These individual aspects are not good or bad, they just are.

Loathing certain parts of ourselves is like refusing to look at a rainbow because we don't like the color green. If you like the other colors, you can accept the green at least, right? A rainbow wouldn't be complete without the color green. If we are to accept ourselves, we need to accept ALL parts of ourselves. Some of them we may be able to improve over time, and others we might not. And that's okay.

The important thing is to become at peace with ourselves, rather than fighting these ridiculous battles day after day. We need to embrace ourselves, nurture ourselves and love ourselves. In doing so, we will be transformed, on one level or another.

Wendy Betterini is an inspirational writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.wingsfortheheart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.

cleaning help near Mundelein ..

In The News:

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

Being Tender With the Ugly Parts of Yourself

Positive Attitude Tips