A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted to the expression of anger. While many people feel better when they "let it all out" a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger.
If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, the following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day:
1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, "I will practice standing up for what is right.")
2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, "I will share how I really feel.")
3. If I feel that my anger is about to erupt, I will *quietly* leave the situation. (Notice that it does not say, "I will stay around and process my feeling.")
4. I will find truth in *all* criticisms directed toward me today, especially from my partner. (Notice that it does not say, "I will explain my point of view.")
5. I will say, "You are right," in a sincere, meaningful way, when I am criticized. (Notice that it does not say, "I will say, 'You are right, but...'")
6. I will give an example of how the person who criticized me is *right*. (Notice that it does not say, "I will point out an exception to their observation.")
7. I will repeat the following sentence to myself today: "I am better off being *wrong* because when I am right, I am dangerous." (Notice that it does not say, "I need to stand up for myself when I am right." That is in the self-help literature for depressed women. Rageful men are not depressed women.)
8. I will avoid explaining myself in any way by saying, "I have no idea why I did that...it doesn't make any sense to me either." (Notice that it does not say, "I will make sure she understands *my* point of view." Life can go on without you being understood.
9. I will listen sympathetically to my partner when she tells me about her day. (That means maintaining eye contact and turning the television off...not just on mute.)
10. I will not give unsolicited advice to my wife or children. (That also means not asking questions such as, "Do you know what you should do?" or "Do you want to know why that happened?")
11. I will avoid blaming family members for anything today, especially if it was their fault. (Instead, say things such as, "It's not your fault you ran out of gas. That stupid gas gauge shows there is gas when there isn't!")
12. I will avoid trying to make any family member "understand" anything. (You may find out that they don't want to understand what you think is the moral or the "truth" of some situation.)
13. I will avoid trying to convince my child or spouse that I am being fair. (Enjoy the relief of *not* trying to convince your teenager that you are being fair, and just sympathize with them for having an unfair parent that wants to ruin their lives.)
14. I will look for an opportunity to sincerely praise everyone I live with, especially the cat I don't like. (Yes, every day! Pet the cat and say nice things to it. The children and your wife will know that you have changed...insist that you have come to have warm feelings toward the cat.)
15. I will humbly commit myself to removing my angry behaviors today, as my contribution toward a more peaceful world. (Realize that there is enough anger and grief in the world without you adding to it.)
Put this list on the refrigerator and ask your wife and children to remind you about it. When they do, calmly say, "You are right. I am sorry. I was wrong."
About The Author
Newton Hightower is the Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc. in Houston, Texas, and author of the new book Anger Busting 101: New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them. Visit Newton's website for more anger- busting ideas and a free email newsletter filled with guest articles and tips for husbands, wives, and therapists. http://www.angerbusters.com
town car ride to ohare Bethalto .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More
With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought it would be especially appropriate... Read More
"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone... Read More
"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is... Read More
This week's wisdom is on the power of living in... Read More
Many centuries ago there was a Greek philosopher who lived... Read More
By definition,an affirmation is a statement repeated time and again... Read More
I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More
In frustration it's easy to jump to false conclusions that... Read More
Life is the greatest roller coaster ride we will ever... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
Positive Affirmations are things we say to ourselves that build... Read More
So people will reject us no matter how good we... Read More
The way to define your personality is to refine your... Read More
It sounds a little masochistic, but I actually appreciate being... Read More
Lately, there has been a collective challenge to avoid being... Read More
Clear Conflict with Forgiveness:Forgiveness is the means to solve all... Read More
"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of... Read More
It started out as a windy, rainy day. A tropical... Read More
IntroductionWe can find all type of people in this world... Read More
How do you explain things to yourself? With positive self... Read More
You don't need to a piece of paper to prove... Read More
"There is an infinitely worthier subject for philosophers (to study)... Read More
During a Messenger chat session the other day, I asked... Read More
An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More
Gurnee Lincoln Stretch rentals ..I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
Have you ever noticed what can happen if you just... Read More
Looking for a bit more mindfulness in your daily life?... Read More
One thing that is important to realize about thought: one... Read More
Just 2 nights ago my partner and I were watching... Read More
IntroductionDid your boss, took you for a ride? Did your... Read More
If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More
Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in... Read More
No one becomes successful by accident. Motivational speaker Les Brown... Read More
As I walked my dogs recently on what "should" have... Read More
Yuk!One thing, I really have a problem with is criticism.... Read More
"Work on your career and you'll make a living. Work... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
Who are you?We all know that we are composed of... Read More
The infamous "glass ceiling" is blamed for business issues for... Read More
The hardest part of success is the **courage** you need... Read More
So...you might just believe I hide behind computers creating and... Read More
Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More
Peak Performance. It means being at the top of your... Read More
Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More
I get emails and questions from people all the time... Read More
Have you ever considered that you may be subconsciously sabotaging... Read More
Contrary to the popular saying "attitude is everything" attittude is... Read More
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More
(The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower,... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |