A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted to the expression of anger. While many people feel better when they "let it all out" a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger.
If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, the following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day:
1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, "I will practice standing up for what is right.")
2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, "I will share how I really feel.")
3. If I feel that my anger is about to erupt, I will *quietly* leave the situation. (Notice that it does not say, "I will stay around and process my feeling.")
4. I will find truth in *all* criticisms directed toward me today, especially from my partner. (Notice that it does not say, "I will explain my point of view.")
5. I will say, "You are right," in a sincere, meaningful way, when I am criticized. (Notice that it does not say, "I will say, 'You are right, but...'")
6. I will give an example of how the person who criticized me is *right*. (Notice that it does not say, "I will point out an exception to their observation.")
7. I will repeat the following sentence to myself today: "I am better off being *wrong* because when I am right, I am dangerous." (Notice that it does not say, "I need to stand up for myself when I am right." That is in the self-help literature for depressed women. Rageful men are not depressed women.)
8. I will avoid explaining myself in any way by saying, "I have no idea why I did that...it doesn't make any sense to me either." (Notice that it does not say, "I will make sure she understands *my* point of view." Life can go on without you being understood.
9. I will listen sympathetically to my partner when she tells me about her day. (That means maintaining eye contact and turning the television off...not just on mute.)
10. I will not give unsolicited advice to my wife or children. (That also means not asking questions such as, "Do you know what you should do?" or "Do you want to know why that happened?")
11. I will avoid blaming family members for anything today, especially if it was their fault. (Instead, say things such as, "It's not your fault you ran out of gas. That stupid gas gauge shows there is gas when there isn't!")
12. I will avoid trying to make any family member "understand" anything. (You may find out that they don't want to understand what you think is the moral or the "truth" of some situation.)
13. I will avoid trying to convince my child or spouse that I am being fair. (Enjoy the relief of *not* trying to convince your teenager that you are being fair, and just sympathize with them for having an unfair parent that wants to ruin their lives.)
14. I will look for an opportunity to sincerely praise everyone I live with, especially the cat I don't like. (Yes, every day! Pet the cat and say nice things to it. The children and your wife will know that you have changed...insist that you have come to have warm feelings toward the cat.)
15. I will humbly commit myself to removing my angry behaviors today, as my contribution toward a more peaceful world. (Realize that there is enough anger and grief in the world without you adding to it.)
Put this list on the refrigerator and ask your wife and children to remind you about it. When they do, calmly say, "You are right. I am sorry. I was wrong."
About The Author
Newton Hightower is the Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc. in Houston, Texas, and author of the new book Anger Busting 101: New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them. Visit Newton's website for more anger- busting ideas and a free email newsletter filled with guest articles and tips for husbands, wives, and therapists. http://www.angerbusters.com
personalized cleaning services Des Plaines ..This is a technique that sounds a bit silly when... Read More
When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware... Read More
Are you the kind of person who dwells on your... Read More
Question: "It's only three months. Or six months. Or a... Read More
For the twelve hundred hostages, most especially Timur Kasumova.It's a... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
Year after year I find more and more individuals saying... Read More
Thousands of dollars will be yours, just by using your... Read More
I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while... Read More
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis... Read More
How you feel about yourself truly does affect your interaction... Read More
Today, I wanted to mention this notion of self-sabotage.I recently... Read More
Satisfaction 100% guaranteed or your money back! That was the... Read More
Recently, a lady came to see me and she had... Read More
At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves... Read More
THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated.... Read More
I heard these words from a client who had been... Read More
HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More
Words, Ignorance, and Casper The Friendly Ghost!Do your best to... Read More
Problems, disappointments and trouble; the three skunks that sometimes think... Read More
Are you driving under the influence of impaired emotions?Dateline: December... Read More
Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether... Read More
The only constant is change. If theres one thing we... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our... Read More
Peak Performance. It means being at the top of your... Read More
family-safe home cleaners Arlington Heights ..Life can be downright scary - sometimes more than others.... Read More
In speaking of comparison we need to be aware that... Read More
Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who... Read More
Inevitably in life we will face disappointment from time to... Read More
How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude... Read More
Empty, Hollow, Nothing?.those words shout the sound of disappointment and... Read More
Turn brutality into kindness. There is no small deed and... Read More
Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More
There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing... Read More
"Where are your bananas?" It seemed like a logical question... Read More
Just in an average day we can experience many things... Read More
HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGERJane... Read More
The hardest part of success is the **courage** you need... Read More
Ever witnessed an incident that needed to be reported to... Read More
If you work toward what you dream, the dream can... Read More
Can you do something for me?Tell me?Please don't think tomorrow.What?Yeah,... Read More
You already have all the resources you need to accomplish... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
One of my class fellows was really tensed, when asked... Read More
Thank you is such a beautiful phrase. When you say,... Read More
Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More
So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More
I loved Norman Vincent Peale's, Power of Positive Thinking as... Read More
We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |