A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted to the expression of anger. While many people feel better when they "let it all out" a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger.
If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, the following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day:
1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, "I will practice standing up for what is right.")
2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, "I will share how I really feel.")
3. If I feel that my anger is about to erupt, I will *quietly* leave the situation. (Notice that it does not say, "I will stay around and process my feeling.")
4. I will find truth in *all* criticisms directed toward me today, especially from my partner. (Notice that it does not say, "I will explain my point of view.")
5. I will say, "You are right," in a sincere, meaningful way, when I am criticized. (Notice that it does not say, "I will say, 'You are right, but...'")
6. I will give an example of how the person who criticized me is *right*. (Notice that it does not say, "I will point out an exception to their observation.")
7. I will repeat the following sentence to myself today: "I am better off being *wrong* because when I am right, I am dangerous." (Notice that it does not say, "I need to stand up for myself when I am right." That is in the self-help literature for depressed women. Rageful men are not depressed women.)
8. I will avoid explaining myself in any way by saying, "I have no idea why I did that...it doesn't make any sense to me either." (Notice that it does not say, "I will make sure she understands *my* point of view." Life can go on without you being understood.
9. I will listen sympathetically to my partner when she tells me about her day. (That means maintaining eye contact and turning the television off...not just on mute.)
10. I will not give unsolicited advice to my wife or children. (That also means not asking questions such as, "Do you know what you should do?" or "Do you want to know why that happened?")
11. I will avoid blaming family members for anything today, especially if it was their fault. (Instead, say things such as, "It's not your fault you ran out of gas. That stupid gas gauge shows there is gas when there isn't!")
12. I will avoid trying to make any family member "understand" anything. (You may find out that they don't want to understand what you think is the moral or the "truth" of some situation.)
13. I will avoid trying to convince my child or spouse that I am being fair. (Enjoy the relief of *not* trying to convince your teenager that you are being fair, and just sympathize with them for having an unfair parent that wants to ruin their lives.)
14. I will look for an opportunity to sincerely praise everyone I live with, especially the cat I don't like. (Yes, every day! Pet the cat and say nice things to it. The children and your wife will know that you have changed...insist that you have come to have warm feelings toward the cat.)
15. I will humbly commit myself to removing my angry behaviors today, as my contribution toward a more peaceful world. (Realize that there is enough anger and grief in the world without you adding to it.)
Put this list on the refrigerator and ask your wife and children to remind you about it. When they do, calmly say, "You are right. I am sorry. I was wrong."
About The Author
Newton Hightower is the Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc. in Houston, Texas, and author of the new book Anger Busting 101: New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them. Visit Newton's website for more anger- busting ideas and a free email newsletter filled with guest articles and tips for husbands, wives, and therapists. http://www.angerbusters.com
disinfecting cleaning services Arlington Heights ..Spring is here at last! The season brings with it... Read More
Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our... Read More
Celebrating is a skill that adults with ADD (Attention Deficit... Read More
Self belief is a wonderful thing.I know from my own... Read More
It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More
How would your life shift if you moved into what... Read More
It took me a long time to realise the benefits... Read More
Ever witnessed an incident that needed to be reported to... Read More
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... Read More
"Most overnight successes are just plain lucky. Just ask any... Read More
What do you do when things in your life don't... Read More
Have you ever read that you should think positively when... Read More
"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More
The summer I was 20 years old, I worked as... Read More
"Thinking is responsible for man's primacy on earth today. Existence... Read More
" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More
I have had many confidence issues in my life, all... Read More
When you change your thoughts, you change your life. The... Read More
1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design.... Read More
Failure is my favorite subject. For I have spent my... Read More
Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More
What is a paradigm? In my own words, a paradigm... Read More
"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More
Have you ever felt the whole world was against you?... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Mundelein ..Maureen worked in an office with twenty other people, processing... Read More
Are you aware of your inner dialogue? If not, you... Read More
Studies show that men and women profit most with having... Read More
Normally I race around multitasking. I am always thinking about... Read More
I was a young girl aged 12, when the one... Read More
What are you holding onto? Wanta quit?There are many things... Read More
While trying to ignore my teen daughters rap music a... Read More
An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a... Read More
Dr. Phil says each of us has a personal "truth"... Read More
Many people would say that it is absolute madness to... Read More
We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed... Read More
Ever had the sense that there is more to life... Read More
Byron and I started our first business full of enthusiasm... Read More
In his all-time bestselling record The Strangest Secret, author Earl... Read More
Have you ever considered that you may be subconsciously sabotaging... Read More
Say aloud:I AM. I AM Consciousness. I AM the creator... Read More
1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design.... Read More
Your mindset is a strong factor in achieving any type... Read More
There is a wonderful story about the famous escape artist,... Read More
Uncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave... Read More
Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
I'm getting calls from folks who say, "I hear you... Read More
Using an opponent's force against them is the fundamental teaching... Read More
James Allen, who wrote the masterpiece, As a Man Thinketh,... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |