A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted to the expression of anger. While many people feel better when they "let it all out" a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger.
If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, the following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day:
1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, "I will practice standing up for what is right.")
2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, "I will share how I really feel.")
3. If I feel that my anger is about to erupt, I will *quietly* leave the situation. (Notice that it does not say, "I will stay around and process my feeling.")
4. I will find truth in *all* criticisms directed toward me today, especially from my partner. (Notice that it does not say, "I will explain my point of view.")
5. I will say, "You are right," in a sincere, meaningful way, when I am criticized. (Notice that it does not say, "I will say, 'You are right, but...'")
6. I will give an example of how the person who criticized me is *right*. (Notice that it does not say, "I will point out an exception to their observation.")
7. I will repeat the following sentence to myself today: "I am better off being *wrong* because when I am right, I am dangerous." (Notice that it does not say, "I need to stand up for myself when I am right." That is in the self-help literature for depressed women. Rageful men are not depressed women.)
8. I will avoid explaining myself in any way by saying, "I have no idea why I did that...it doesn't make any sense to me either." (Notice that it does not say, "I will make sure she understands *my* point of view." Life can go on without you being understood.
9. I will listen sympathetically to my partner when she tells me about her day. (That means maintaining eye contact and turning the television off...not just on mute.)
10. I will not give unsolicited advice to my wife or children. (That also means not asking questions such as, "Do you know what you should do?" or "Do you want to know why that happened?")
11. I will avoid blaming family members for anything today, especially if it was their fault. (Instead, say things such as, "It's not your fault you ran out of gas. That stupid gas gauge shows there is gas when there isn't!")
12. I will avoid trying to make any family member "understand" anything. (You may find out that they don't want to understand what you think is the moral or the "truth" of some situation.)
13. I will avoid trying to convince my child or spouse that I am being fair. (Enjoy the relief of *not* trying to convince your teenager that you are being fair, and just sympathize with them for having an unfair parent that wants to ruin their lives.)
14. I will look for an opportunity to sincerely praise everyone I live with, especially the cat I don't like. (Yes, every day! Pet the cat and say nice things to it. The children and your wife will know that you have changed...insist that you have come to have warm feelings toward the cat.)
15. I will humbly commit myself to removing my angry behaviors today, as my contribution toward a more peaceful world. (Realize that there is enough anger and grief in the world without you adding to it.)
Put this list on the refrigerator and ask your wife and children to remind you about it. When they do, calmly say, "You are right. I am sorry. I was wrong."
About The Author
Newton Hightower is the Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc. in Houston, Texas, and author of the new book Anger Busting 101: New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them. Visit Newton's website for more anger- busting ideas and a free email newsletter filled with guest articles and tips for husbands, wives, and therapists. http://www.angerbusters.com
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..WE ARE ALL THINKING ALL OF THE TIME.Can you believe... Read More
The invisible force surrounded him, squeezing tightly around his chest.... Read More
"You can't always get what you want . . ."... Read More
We all know them. We all have somebody like them... Read More
" If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More
Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel... Read More
Recently, a dear friend who has been both a coach... Read More
Last time we talked about how to begin building the... Read More
It started out as a windy, rainy day. A tropical... Read More
Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson... Read More
1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design.... Read More
Imagine what your life would be like if you could... Read More
Never Quitting Equals Success Most people who achieve fortunes in... Read More
Many of the books on this page were inspired by... Read More
Most of what we've been taught about how to be... Read More
Resentment isn't a spectacular emotion, but it is long-lasting and... Read More
Failure is my favorite subject. For I have spent my... Read More
So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More
One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable... Read More
Do you realize that what we believe about ourselves, affects... Read More
In the international bestseller, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how researchers... Read More
A balanced life not only leaves you feeling more fulfilled;... Read More
We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed... Read More
There are always explanations for why things to you or... Read More
The world is going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..All the problems that any individual has in their lives... Read More
So how do we find meaning? The first step is... Read More
The invisible force surrounded him, squeezing tightly around his chest.... Read More
In many ways the Star War movies are simply a... Read More
Wahms, do you constantly compare yourself with others and come... Read More
No, not that kind.Power and potential are synonymous. Your ultimate... Read More
Distortions are False Beliefs Programmed every Day by Self and... Read More
As if choreographed and rehearsed the night before, one lays... Read More
There is no such thing as failure ? only feedback... Read More
Satisfaction 100% guaranteed or your money back! That was the... Read More
Every day something changes at work: your products, your customers,... Read More
"It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More
When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware... Read More
Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The... Read More
Recently, a lady came to see me and she had... Read More
The one thing that is absolutely vital to overcoming shyness... Read More
A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted... Read More
The only thing between you and your desire to be... Read More
I started life writing in the fifth grade. My mother... Read More
During these times of uncertainty in the outside world, look... Read More
There was some sunshine this weekend while I was writing... Read More
For most of us our lives are a problem which... Read More
"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take... Read More
You already have all the resources you need to accomplish... Read More
Looking around at our circumstances we may see only mountains... Read More
Positive Attitude Tips |