I thought I was through with exams when I finished college. Then my financial adviser (a.k.a. stockbroker) had me take a test to measure my tolerance for risk. He said, there were no right or wrong answers, but I knew better.
Once I had taken a personality test when I was in career transition (a.k.a. unemployed). My counselor had said the same thing, "There is no right or?," but when he told me my score he noted it was on the edge of the bell curve - the wrong edge. My need for acceptance by others was high; so high that I could not confront a taxi driver who gave me zero change from a $10 bill, on a $4.50 fare.
I was very leery of taking this "risk-tolerance profile." As I expected the questions showed that I was a total "wuss." (In Pittsburgh, if you're 15 and a guy it means you always cover your ears in winter).
A typical question; if your portfolio dropped 21.8 percent in one year, would you:
a. Sell all your equities?
b. Sell 1/3 of your equities and buy intermediate-term, tax-free municipals?
c. No change, staying the course?
I selected 'c' not because I believed in my strategy but out of total fear.
And yet deep down, when it came to the important things in life I felt that I was a risk-taker. I could be as much a risk-taker as an F-16 fighter pilot or a New York City undercover cop. However, no test ever asked the real important questions of life, the kind of questions that affected my daily reality. Questions like:
You have to drive to the airport. You get in your car, turn on the engine, and the gas gauge is on "E." Do you: a) immediately fill up, b) drive to the airport but don't put on the air conditioning, or c) drive back and forth without ever looking at the gas gauge again. OK, now lets add some real risk to the above question. What is your answer assuming your spouse is in the car with you?
Now let's deal with food instead of hedge funds. For example, for breakfast you like your bagels dark but definitely not burned. You've just put a bagel in the toaster, and it is just not dark enough. You put it in the toaster again, just nudging the dial to the optimum position, taking into consideration the heat already generated and the level of darkness around the edges of the bagel. As you wait for your bagel, do you: a) stand there staring at the bagel, b) let the dog out, c) get your newspaper from the driveway and check the Knicks score.
How would your answer change if it were your last bagel?
Now lets deal with the most risky part of life - relationships: Its 11:30 p.m., Thanksgiving Eve; your wife is exhausted, having cooked the 24-pound turkey and the rest of the food. She asks you to place the turkey in the fridge in the basement. She reminds you of last year's fiasco when you forgot to refrigerate the bird. Do you: a) do it immediately; run upstairs to report to her that you completed the task. You then return to the basement to ensure that you have closed the fridge door, b) leave a note for your teenage son to do it when he comes in after midnight.
Now for extra credit. You get a call from your high-school sweetheart. She asks to meet you for coffee in an hour. Do you: a) decline and tell you wife about the call, b) decline and not tell you wife about the call, c) ask your son if you can borrow his mousse. You get the idea. On this kind of test, I would score very high.
I figure once I fine-tune my questions, I could use this kind of questionnaire to screen professionals trying to give me advice. For example, my internist wants me to come in to review the results of my prostate exam and to discuss the different options and the risks involved with each course of action. I may surprise him and ask him to complete my questionnaire first. I want to see what kind of risk-taker he is.
P.S. My stockbroker just took my exam. He failed. I am looking for a new broker. Any recommendations?
Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at http://www.heshreinfeld.com
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carIt is estimated that we, as consumers, waste an average... Read More
It's the little things in life that make it interesting.... Read More
Six Scholarship judges were sitting around an oval table. Forms... Read More
It is crucial as an individual who is striving for... Read More
Traditional checks probably won't disappear anytime soon, but processing checks... Read More
Have you seen the recent article on a new "green"... Read More
Millions of people give a lot of thought to financial... Read More
Commonly referred to as the first of the three major... Read More
Recent findings from the Educational Policy Institute indicated that the... Read More
Most of us, especially those of us who have debtor's... Read More
Can you really afford a house? If so, how much... Read More
The cries are heard from the distance, "I need help... Read More
Has anyone been to the gas pumps lately? Soon $3... Read More
Ever wonder where address labels come from? Avery? is perhaps... Read More
Despite how easy it is to balance a checkbook, very... Read More
With the A-level results coming out, the long wait for... Read More
Did you have a piggy bank when you were a... Read More
How many drawers did you have to look through to... Read More
Super-mumsIt seems that the proof of maternal efforts is no... Read More
With almost two thirds of university entrants from England and... Read More
My personal opinion is that in today's new economy, it... Read More
Recent security breaches at several credit card companies continue to... Read More
For months, we were trigger-swipe happy, putting our groceries, clothes,... Read More
With interest rates being at an all-time low, I can... Read More
Chapter 7The potential chapter 7 debtor should understand that a... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..I've been sharing the following idea with people for a... Read More
On the other hand, there are those people who are... Read More
Many don't realize that our basic utility bills provide the... Read More
The judge had to ask the question, and we had... Read More
With the advent of the internet and especially auction services... Read More
Christians are called to be good stewards of God's resources.... Read More
Most of us, especially those of us who have debtor's... Read More
Your boss has just informed you that your department is... Read More
1. Don't focus on your finances.The reason most people get... Read More
Finding a stable and secure income that will come year... Read More
You should thoroughly consider your business needs when selecting a... Read More
Did you have a piggy bank when you were a... Read More
Address labels are many things to many different people. If... Read More
If you have a 401(k) account, it can be very... Read More
The Check 21 Law is the new federal law for... Read More
Of course, these don't have to be done in any... Read More
An avid cyclist and bike racing fan, I sit transfixed... Read More
I thought I was through with exams when I finished... Read More
Shopping for groceries is an inevitable fact of our ever... Read More
Recent security breaches at several credit card companies continue to... Read More
The lists of bank and savings accounts that are available... Read More
It doesn't take much for you to get behind on... Read More
Single Mother's in need of Financial GuidanceBudgeting is key to... Read More
Now there are ways to save money in the grocery... Read More
One universal of humanity, no matter who you are or... Read More
Personal Finance |