Bank On It: Places to Hide and Invest Money

Today I passed a thermometer at a bank that read 110 degrees, but I am not telling you that to show you how hot it was. I am telling you that because this bank really needs to fix their thermometer. According to their thermometer, it was also 110 degrees in December. There are a lot of people, places and things that can be more accurate with the weather, and as I've never said (but have always wanted to), "Whatever I trust with the weather is what I also trust with my money." Here are some examples:

A random old lady: Certain beings can predict the weather through their bones, and that group includes random old ladies and dogs. I specify "random" because that way I won't get e-mails from people stating, "Hey, why are you messing with my grandmom? Are you saying she's like an alien or some kind of meteorologist or something?" And no, I'm not. I am talking about a "random" old lady, and grandmoms don't fit into that category, not even on Bingo Night. Regardless, my plan is to give my money to one of these random old ladies instead of keeping it at a bank because I know this lady won't go too far with it, and if she does disappear, I'll know to find her in Florida. Also, I don't have to worry about her making any silly investments except for lottery tickets and candy buttons. Plus, who is going to try to rob a random old lady? It's just not feasible...

A kangaroo: Kangaroos were created with pouches for a reason. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with holding their young. In reality, kangaroos are living banks (and weather forecasters), ready to take your deposit and hold onto it until they die. Some may say that depositing money into a kangaroo's pouch is bad because there will be no interest on the money. But think again -- we're talking about a kangaroo hopping around with money here. There's gotta be a lot of interest there!

A weather vane: Nothing beats a good weather vane with a metal rooster on top of it, except for maybe a weather vane with a real rooster on top of it. All people need to do is hide their money somewhere on a weather vane because most people will never think to look there for money. In fact, most people don't even look at them anymore for the weather. It's a win-win situation, with you being both the first winner and the second winner...

A man-eating fish with a keen sense of finances and the guarding of finances: No explanation necessary.

An outdoor basketball court: One can determine the weather by the amount of people playing basketball outside, as well as what they are wearing when they play. So the weather is taken care of already. As for the financial aspect, I would put all of my money on -- or near (why be picky?) -- the top of a backboard. That way the only people who could reach it already likely have lucrative contracts and wouldn't need the money anyway. If it turns out that someone else is able to grab the money, I'll just call a foul at some point afterwards and I'll get two free throws, a suitable replacement for cash...

But I digress.

Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.progressiverevelations.com)

Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
In The News:

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.
Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.
Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.
Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.
China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries
Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.
The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.
ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.
Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.
The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.
You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.
Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.
Voice assistants may cause confusion across devices. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers some solutions to fix it.
Shameless scammers trick veterans into giving personal info or cash. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explores five common scams.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you honor our heroes with these powerful podcasts, audiobooks and documentaries this Veterans Day.

Bank On It: Places to Hide and Invest Money

Today I passed a thermometer at a bank that read... Read More

The Wright Place - Finances

Women have a love/hate relationship with money. Most of us... Read More

Understanding and Controlling Your Finances

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to... Read More

Budgeting Your Way to Financial Freedom

Financial freedom cannot be achieved without budgeting. Budgeting involves tracking... Read More

Personal Loans For Homeowners ? One Of The Numerous Rewards For Being A Homeowner

You no longer look at the pictures of homes cause... Read More

If All Things Are Possible, Why Cant I Balance My Checkbook?

For me, the most terrible time of each month is... Read More

Budgeting Before Buying

With interest rates being at an all-time low, I can... Read More

Adverse Debt Levels Blight UK Consumers Personal Finances

Debt levels are at an all time high in the... Read More

Grocery Savings - Your Kitchen is a Goldmine!

Your food budget is the most flexible area of your... Read More

Top 10 Ways Managing Your Money Is Just Like Riding a Bike

An avid cyclist and bike racing fan, I sit transfixed... Read More

Why Live Frugally

What is it about being frugal, why do it at... Read More

Dramatically Improve Your Stock Trading Success

Get Access to Realistic profitable strategies & discover the mindset... Read More

Save On Food - Ten Tips

To save on food, be an opportunist. Buy what you... Read More

Understanding Your Finances Can Give You Power And Choice

What is finance and what do you need to know?... Read More

How You Feel Affects How You Shop & How Much You Spend

Have you ever stopped to think about how your "mood"... Read More

Saving Money On Gasoline For Your Automobile

The gas that we fill our tanks with every week... Read More

UK Graduates Looking Short-Term At Their Long-Term Financial Responsibilities

With almost two thirds of university entrants from England and... Read More

Credit Card Debt ? Watch Your Credit Report and Your Bill

Most consumers are aware of the importance of their credit... Read More

University: A Course in Personal Finance

Recent findings from the Educational Policy Institute indicated that the... Read More

Roth IRA Contributions - IRS Rules

Confused about whether you can contribute to a Roth IRA?... Read More

Budgeting Tips to Save Real Money

Sticking to a budget can be difficult, but with so... Read More

Students Investing in Their Future Need to Manage Their Finances Today

With the A-level results coming out, the long wait for... Read More

Retirement Income Needs---Less Than You Think?

It is widely written that you need 75% of your... Read More

How to Balance Your Checkbook ? Get a Calculator and Pencil and You are Ready To Go!

Despite how easy it is to balance a checkbook, very... Read More

When do You Need a Financial Management Company on Your Side?

We live in a crazy world. Someone ought to sell... Read More

Antigo wedding limo ..