Today I passed a thermometer at a bank that read 110 degrees, but I am not telling you that to show you how hot it was. I am telling you that because this bank really needs to fix their thermometer. According to their thermometer, it was also 110 degrees in December. There are a lot of people, places and things that can be more accurate with the weather, and as I've never said (but have always wanted to), "Whatever I trust with the weather is what I also trust with my money." Here are some examples:
A random old lady: Certain beings can predict the weather through their bones, and that group includes random old ladies and dogs. I specify "random" because that way I won't get e-mails from people stating, "Hey, why are you messing with my grandmom? Are you saying she's like an alien or some kind of meteorologist or something?" And no, I'm not. I am talking about a "random" old lady, and grandmoms don't fit into that category, not even on Bingo Night. Regardless, my plan is to give my money to one of these random old ladies instead of keeping it at a bank because I know this lady won't go too far with it, and if she does disappear, I'll know to find her in Florida. Also, I don't have to worry about her making any silly investments except for lottery tickets and candy buttons. Plus, who is going to try to rob a random old lady? It's just not feasible...
A kangaroo: Kangaroos were created with pouches for a reason. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with holding their young. In reality, kangaroos are living banks (and weather forecasters), ready to take your deposit and hold onto it until they die. Some may say that depositing money into a kangaroo's pouch is bad because there will be no interest on the money. But think again -- we're talking about a kangaroo hopping around with money here. There's gotta be a lot of interest there!
A weather vane: Nothing beats a good weather vane with a metal rooster on top of it, except for maybe a weather vane with a real rooster on top of it. All people need to do is hide their money somewhere on a weather vane because most people will never think to look there for money. In fact, most people don't even look at them anymore for the weather. It's a win-win situation, with you being both the first winner and the second winner...
A man-eating fish with a keen sense of finances and the guarding of finances: No explanation necessary.
An outdoor basketball court: One can determine the weather by the amount of people playing basketball outside, as well as what they are wearing when they play. So the weather is taken care of already. As for the financial aspect, I would put all of my money on -- or near (why be picky?) -- the top of a backboard. That way the only people who could reach it already likely have lucrative contracts and wouldn't need the money anyway. If it turns out that someone else is able to grab the money, I'll just call a foul at some point afterwards and I'll get two free throws, a suitable replacement for cash...
But I digress.
Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.progressiverevelations.com)
Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareToday I passed a thermometer at a bank that read... Read More
Women have a love/hate relationship with money. Most of us... Read More
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to... Read More
Financial freedom cannot be achieved without budgeting. Budgeting involves tracking... Read More
You no longer look at the pictures of homes cause... Read More
For me, the most terrible time of each month is... Read More
With interest rates being at an all-time low, I can... Read More
Debt levels are at an all time high in the... Read More
Your food budget is the most flexible area of your... Read More
An avid cyclist and bike racing fan, I sit transfixed... Read More
What is it about being frugal, why do it at... Read More
Get Access to Realistic profitable strategies & discover the mindset... Read More
To save on food, be an opportunist. Buy what you... Read More
What is finance and what do you need to know?... Read More
Have you ever stopped to think about how your "mood"... Read More
The gas that we fill our tanks with every week... Read More
With almost two thirds of university entrants from England and... Read More
Most consumers are aware of the importance of their credit... Read More
Recent findings from the Educational Policy Institute indicated that the... Read More
Confused about whether you can contribute to a Roth IRA?... Read More
Sticking to a budget can be difficult, but with so... Read More
With the A-level results coming out, the long wait for... Read More
It is widely written that you need 75% of your... Read More
Despite how easy it is to balance a checkbook, very... Read More
We live in a crazy world. Someone ought to sell... Read More
Antigo wedding limo ..Your food budget is the most flexible area of your... Read More
One of the simplest ways to improve your professional image... Read More
I thought I was through with exams when I finished... Read More
During the last twenty years, banks have offered a number... Read More
Ben Stein has a book called How to Ruin Your... Read More
Before buying personal or business checks you should inform yourself... Read More
The Check 21 Law is the new federal law for... Read More
You've analyzed your past expenses, put them into spreadsheets, loaded... Read More
It is estimated that we, as consumers, waste an average... Read More
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to... Read More
Many people graduate from college owing thousands of dollars in... Read More
There have been an estimated 9.9 million victims on America... Read More
Christians are called to be good stewards of God's resources.... Read More
Finding a stable and secure income that will come year... Read More
**If it's Spam, it's a Scam!- If it sounds too... Read More
Frugal living is more than a lifestyle. It's a passion.... Read More
What is finance and what do you need to know?... Read More
Six Scholarship judges were sitting around an oval table. Forms... Read More
Have you seen the recent article on a new "green"... Read More
Get Access to Realistic profitable strategies & discover the mindset... Read More
It's the little things in life that make it interesting.... Read More
Developing and living by a household budget is by far... Read More
People haven't always written checks to buy goods and services.... Read More
Are you a check fanatic? Don't worry, you aren't alone.... Read More
For most of us the process of getting out of... Read More
Personal Finance |