A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one end while he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for a tradesman.
Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch!
This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy.
There lies the crux of this article.
We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.
Why do so many of us insist on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?
Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster!
Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment.
Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel grateful for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifest itself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness.
What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!
On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We instinctively know we should give them the benefit of our experience.
So how do we go about it?
The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.
From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.
And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold.
Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth and development, even if - especially if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.
Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, encourage him or her to research that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!
In high school some teachers encourage kids to make their curriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.
Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need adaptability in order to face change willingly and without fear.
By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More
People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
I thought I was the only one in the world... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down... Read More
We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
reliable maid service Wilmette ..In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
My name is Duncan and I'm 2 years old. I... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
What is in a name?The answer is everything!Jo J. of... Read More
Parenting |