A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one end while he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for a tradesman.
Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch!
This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy.
There lies the crux of this article.
We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.
Why do so many of us insist on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?
Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster!
Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment.
Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel grateful for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifest itself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness.
What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!
On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We instinctively know we should give them the benefit of our experience.
So how do we go about it?
The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.
From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.
And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold.
Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth and development, even if - especially if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.
Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, encourage him or her to research that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!
In high school some teachers encourage kids to make their curriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.
Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need adaptability in order to face change willingly and without fear.
By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
Child care costs are are one of the most expensive... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
For troubled teens who are struggling with drug abuse, depression... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache,... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
I had my first two children on either side of... Read More
When you're a parent it's a difficult decision to know... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
Parenting |