A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one end while he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for a tradesman.
Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch!
This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy.
There lies the crux of this article.
We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.
Why do so many of us insist on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?
Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster!
Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment.
Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel grateful for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifest itself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness.
What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!
On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We instinctively know we should give them the benefit of our experience.
So how do we go about it?
The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.
From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.
And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold.
Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth and development, even if - especially if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.
Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, encourage him or her to research that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!
In high school some teachers encourage kids to make their curriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.
Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need adaptability in order to face change willingly and without fear.
By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Although many parents become frustrated as they try to maintain... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
The great thing about children is they absorb knowledge like... Read More
The word no is probably the most overused word in... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More
Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More
Parenting |