A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, helping him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, holding a plank of wood at one end while he measured it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a bigger screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!
Yet despite all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle through jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Occasionally I'll send for a tradesman.
Yet somehow I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to anything - while I STILL stand and watch!
This particular creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a flourish in my boy.
There lies the crux of this article.
We each discover our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a teacher I hear so many kids complain about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.
Why do so many of us insist on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?
Many possible reasons spring to mind:
Talk about a recipe for disaster!
Trying to live our own lives through our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon encounter a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will seethe with unhappiness and a lack of fulfilment.
Sometimes our children may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel grateful for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent commitment to the path we choose for them, it can manifest itself in low achievement, depression and even physical illness.
What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!
On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We instinctively know we should give them the benefit of our experience.
So how do we go about it?
The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.
From the earliest possible age, encourage your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.
And observe them in all they do. Cherish their uniqueness, and enjoy seeing their individual talents unfold.
Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on encouraging growth and development, even if - especially if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.
Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, encourage him or her to research that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!
In high school some teachers encourage kids to make their curriculum choices to suit future career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My advice has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.
Again, encourage confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury previous generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need adaptability in order to face change willingly and without fear.
By encouraging them to follow their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. His writing includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
The older my daughter gets the more it's sinking in... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
Parents of teenagers frequently ask what can be done to... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
According to researchers, most children enter school with a good... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
cleaning lady near Lincolnshire ..According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More
Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
As a parent you will be asked to assist with... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
'Whose room is it anyway?'If you have a teenager, you're... Read More
Parenting |