Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don't try everything that comes their way --from kickball to spelling bees-- how will they discover their passions?
One thing that parents can model is to value 'effort' and 'risk'. Kids whose parents praise things like 'trying,' 'giving their best effort' and 'finishing what they've started' seem to have kids who try, give their best effort and finish things! While competition is a great teacher, there are also times that it is as important to reward participation as achievement.
Rewarding the courage to compete builds confidence and helps to combat the stigma attached to losing. People often forget that losing is nature's best teacher. High achieving adults we've interviewed confirmed that adversity and struggle (e.g. 'losing') taught them what they needed to do to win the next time!
Kids shouldn't be afraid of losing. Hug and praise them no matter how well or poorly they do. Go easy on the sympathy if they lose. Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they'll try next time.
Remember, your offsprings' 'won/loss' record is not a reflection of your parenting skill? but their attitudes, values and ethics are. Whether they win or lose you can teach them to show the same respect for everyone who competes, to push themselves toward improvement and give to their best.
As with so many aspects of being a parent, it's all in how you approach it.
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement which is now available on Amazon.com
For more information about 'The Four Foundations' please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"...because you're not raising a child - you're raising a future adult"
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
How often do you think of family life as an... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More
Parenting |