Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don't try everything that comes their way --from kickball to spelling bees-- how will they discover their passions?
One thing that parents can model is to value 'effort' and 'risk'. Kids whose parents praise things like 'trying,' 'giving their best effort' and 'finishing what they've started' seem to have kids who try, give their best effort and finish things! While competition is a great teacher, there are also times that it is as important to reward participation as achievement.
Rewarding the courage to compete builds confidence and helps to combat the stigma attached to losing. People often forget that losing is nature's best teacher. High achieving adults we've interviewed confirmed that adversity and struggle (e.g. 'losing') taught them what they needed to do to win the next time!
Kids shouldn't be afraid of losing. Hug and praise them no matter how well or poorly they do. Go easy on the sympathy if they lose. Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they'll try next time.
Remember, your offsprings' 'won/loss' record is not a reflection of your parenting skill? but their attitudes, values and ethics are. Whether they win or lose you can teach them to show the same respect for everyone who competes, to push themselves toward improvement and give to their best.
As with so many aspects of being a parent, it's all in how you approach it.
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement which is now available on Amazon.com
For more information about 'The Four Foundations' please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"...because you're not raising a child - you're raising a future adult"
best cleaning company Highland Park ..Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More
Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.All children need... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More
Parenting |