Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don't try everything that comes their way --from kickball to spelling bees-- how will they discover their passions?
One thing that parents can model is to value 'effort' and 'risk'. Kids whose parents praise things like 'trying,' 'giving their best effort' and 'finishing what they've started' seem to have kids who try, give their best effort and finish things! While competition is a great teacher, there are also times that it is as important to reward participation as achievement.
Rewarding the courage to compete builds confidence and helps to combat the stigma attached to losing. People often forget that losing is nature's best teacher. High achieving adults we've interviewed confirmed that adversity and struggle (e.g. 'losing') taught them what they needed to do to win the next time!
Kids shouldn't be afraid of losing. Hug and praise them no matter how well or poorly they do. Go easy on the sympathy if they lose. Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they'll try next time.
Remember, your offsprings' 'won/loss' record is not a reflection of your parenting skill? but their attitudes, values and ethics are. Whether they win or lose you can teach them to show the same respect for everyone who competes, to push themselves toward improvement and give to their best.
As with so many aspects of being a parent, it's all in how you approach it.
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement which is now available on Amazon.com
For more information about 'The Four Foundations' please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"...because you're not raising a child - you're raising a future adult"
quick home cleaning Glenview ..Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
scheduled maid service Winnetka ..Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
You have a chore to do around the house, and... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Well first off, please to don't institute the ? hour... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More
It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More
Recess has begun disappearing in states all around the country.... Read More
1. Create... Read More
Parenting |