The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a Victim
Children bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as "part of growing up," it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.
But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society's glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky. At the extreme, in many of the school shootings over the last decade, the perpetrators were withdrawn students who had a history of being bullied. Though still largely ignored or discounted as a minor issue, bullying is a very serious - and growing - problem.
According to a new study of two schools by UCLA researchers, 47 percent of sixth graders in one school and 46 percent in the other said they'd been bullied at least once during a five-day period.
Bullying can take on many forms-name calling, teasing, spreading rumors, physical aggression-and the end result can be tragic, both for the victim and the bully. After being teased, even if it's "just joking around," kids are seriously affected, and verbal abuse happens twice as often as physical abuse, according to the UCLA study that was published in the March/April issue of the journal Child Development.
"The students who were beat up and those who were called names were equally bothered. Kids reported feeling humiliated, anxious or disliking school on days when they reported incidents, which shows there is no such thing as 'harmless' name-calling or an 'innocent' punch," said Jaana Juvonen, UCLA professor of psychology and co-author of the study.
When bullying gets bad enough, kids can end up missing school or worse. Back in 2002, one 12-year-old Connecticut boy who had missed 44 days of school as a result of bullying ending up committing suicide by hanging himself. Though suicide and school shootings demonstrate extremes of what can happen if a child is bullied, there are other lasting impacts that can occur.
Says Alice Pope, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychologyat St. John's University, the effects of bullying can last a lifetime and include lowered self-esteem, vulnerability to depression, problems with sexual relationships and, as mentioned above, suicide.
Victims of bullies are also more likely to report physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches and colds than kids who aren't bullied.
The bully, too, is more likely to have problems later in life, she says, ranging from lowered school attendance and performance to an increased likelihood of committing criminal acts. Bullies, like victims, also have a greater risk of depression and suicide.
So just how widespread is bullying?
"Bullying is a problem that large numbers of kids confront on a daily basis at school; it's not just an issue for the few unfortunate ones," said Juvonen. And the cycle of bullying is similar to that of a yo-yo dieter: the more a child is bullied, the more depressed, lonely and anxious they feel. This makes them want to avoid school, so their grades and social ties break down, while meanwhile making them more psychologically vulnerable to being bullied.
Children appear most likely to be bullied (or at least are most affected by bullying) between the ages of 11 and 13. Fortunately, as children get older, the likelihood of being bullied goes down.
Is Your Child Being Bullied?
A child who's bullied often exhibits some of these warning signs, says the National Mental Health Information Center:
* Becomes socially withdrawn or has poor social skills.
* Has few or no friends.
* Feels sad, alone, rejected, not liked, picked on or persecuted.
* Often complains of feeling sick.
* Doesn't want to go to school or skips school.
* Brings home damaged possessions or "loses" possessions often.
* Cries easily, talks of running away or suicide.
* Has changes in appetite and sleeping patterns.
* Threatens violence to self and others.
* Displays "victim" body language such as hung head or shoulders, avoiding eye contact.
* Tries to take "protection" to school (stick, knife, etc.).
4 Ways to Help Your Child From Becoming Bullied
Kids who have low self-esteem, few friends or lack social skills are often the targets of bullies, simply because they're less likely to fight back or pose a real challenge to the bully. The National Mental Health Information Center recommends that parents take the following four steps to prevent their kids from becoming a victim to a bully:
1. Instill self-confidence in your child.
2. Help your child establish good social skills.
3. Teach your child to speak out for him or herself.
4. Teach your child to seek help if harassed, from you and other caring adults.
What to do if Your Child is Being Bullied
Here are seven simple steps to take if you suspect your child is being bullied (see the box above for signs your child may be at risk), from the National Mental Health Information Center:
1. Make sure your child knows being bullied is not his or her fault.
2. Let your child know that he or she does not have to face being bullied alone.
3. Discuss ways of responding to bullies.
4. Teach your child to be assertive.
5. Tell your child not to react, but to ignore the bully, walk away and get help if pursued.
6. Tell your child to report bullying immediately to a trusted adult.
7. Contact the school/teacher.
For those of you interested in keeping your little one from becoming a bully, don't miss the article below, "9 Key Reasons for You and Your Family to Kill Your Television." It explains how 4-year-olds who watch a lot of TV are more likely to become bullies when they're older.
Sources
Science Daily April 11, 2005
Child Development. 2005 Mar-Apr;76(2):435-50
Bullies: More Than Sticks, Stones and Name Calling
Bullying Seen as Big School Problem
The National Mental Health Information Center
Focus on Social Issues
From the free sixwise.com e-newsletter, the Web's #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.
cleaning help near Mundelein ..There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer... Read More
Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
reliable maid service Wilmette ..How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do with... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Parenting |