Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). However, a majority of these women truly prefer to be at home, and are spending days trapped in a work "cell" and feeling committed for life.

First and foremost, I would like to stress that I am not going to join the pros or cons of either side of this debate. I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mother. I think they both have their advantages and disadvantages. I have equally loved and loathed both on any given day!

When I was working in sales and marketing, I loved the ability to meet new people, to negotiate, to close deals, to be given a task, a goal, a deadline, and to be able to start and finish a project. The hardest transition to full time "mommy" world for me is that no task or project ever seems complete. I make the meal and it's quickly eaten. I make and clean up after another meal, and another meal only to be greeted by requests for many impromptu snacks. I do the laundry, and it's worn, becomes dirty and needs to be done again. I wash the dishes, the floor, clean the house, and within a matter of hours my hard work is all undone. This applies to the bigger projects as well, like reorganizing cupboards, closets, and drawers, although at least this usually buys me a few days of pride and satisfaction, rather than just a few hours.

However, even though my tasks may never seem accomplished, my house never as clean as I feel it is suppose to be, there are days when I am playing with my children, laughing, hugging, holding them and I think I would have missed moment. Everyday they grow and change and it becomes harder to remember what they were like the month prior, nonetheless a year prior. For this I am thankful for an opportunity to have these special "mommy" moments.

I think that we as women have such strong bonds and influence on each other in friendships and in family relationships. We need to use that influence and stop debating each other over who is right and who is wrong in the stay-at-home or work debate and just accept that we each have our own "right".

For women who desperately yearn to be home with their children, we need to fight for employers and businesses to create better work at home opportunities so that if money is an issue, and a dual income is necessary, it doesn't have to be at the cost of our desired family life. After carrying a child inside of us for nine months and giving birth, we have earned the right to spend every waking moment with him or her is we so desire.

For women who truly enjoy and thrive in a work atmosphere, I say then don't feel guilty. I am taking pleasure in a hiatus right now, but I sincerely enjoyed working as well. Women have labored a long, hard time to pave the way for the success were seeing in today's culture and you needn't give that up to become a mother if working makes you happy. The popular saying that relates to families "if Mom is happy, we're all happy" couldn't be more true!

I will emphasize that as a working Mother or parent, you do need to set boundaries with your employer, and let them know that your family is as important as your career. When I was working, I fought for and demanded a part-time flexible schedule that worked for my family.

Except for the occasional project, I made it a priority to leave the office on time everyday, making it understood by my boss and coworkers that this was my schedule and I would not impress anyone with late night office departures.

Coincidently, in every office I have worked in, it is often those who consistently spent most of their day accomplishing very little, that ended up burning the "midnight" oil. I spent my days working smart and efficiently, and felt no guilt at my "on time" departure routine. So don't feel pressured to stay late, because it looks good in the eyes of your coworkers. My bosses always knew how hard I worked, and none of them blinked an eye when I left for the day.

So ladies, instead of debating each other, let's use our influence, our power, our minds, and our hearts, to help each other do what is right for one another; even if our "right" may be different from someone else's. We all need to work together in order to continue to make a difference. Together, we can make certain that work choices, family flexible schedules, and genuine work from home opportunities are available to us so we can support our families both financially and emotionally.

We may not always agree when it comes to various parenting issues, but I am certain as parents we can unanimously agree that we all love our children.

Tina Frazer is the Founder of Let's Be Friends.net, a friendship website for women. let's be friends.net promotes and encourages new friendships among women of all ages* and stages of life who share similar interests, lifestyles, and values. Our mission at Let's Be Friends.net is to reintroduce friendship as a priority in women's lives. For more information about Let's Be Friends.net visit let's be friends.net

*Members must be at least 18 years old.

efficient cleaning crew Highland Park ..
In The News:

Multi-factor authentication (MFA) adds an extra layer of protection to your accounts. Instead of relying only on a password, MFA requires you to verify your identity using two or more methods.
Scientists from Duke, Harvard, and the University of Otago have unveiled a game-changing tool called DunedinPACNI. It uses a single AI brain scan to reveal how fast a person is biologically aging.
A disturbing wave of fake agent phone scams is sweeping across the United States, catching people off guard and draining their savings.
Emojis aren't just playful add-ons; they're powerful tools for building stronger connections in our increasingly digital world.
Google has taken a major step toward the future of clean energy by partnering with Commonwealth Fusion Systems (CFS), an MIT spin-out working to build one of the world’s first commercial fusion reactors.
If you create and share art online, you might have seen messages warning that Facebook's parent company, Meta, claims the right to use or even sell anything you post, whether it's pictures, poems, or artwork.
Cybercriminals hit Qantas in a major data breach that exposed information from up to six million customers.
Having reliable, loud, and timely emergency alerts on your phone or device is important because when severe weather strikes, every second counts.
Here's how your daily brew is becoming the foundation for greener buildings.
Artificial intelligence (AI) and large language models (LLMs), such as ChatGPT, are transforming how we learn. But what does this mean for AI and learning retention?
Modern AI data centers use much more electricity than traditional cloud servers. In many cases, the existing power grid cannot keep up. One innovative solution is gaining traction: repurposed EV batteries for AI data centers.
Microsoft 365 and Outlook users are being targeted by a tactic that injects fake billing alerts directly into their calendars.
Researchers are now showing us that old smartphones as data centers could be the next big thing in sustainable tech.
Scientists have created micro-robots for sinus infection treatment that can enter the nasal cavity, eliminate bacteria directly at the source, and exit without harming surrounding tissue.
Let's examine how your data is collected in everyday life, who is buying and selling it, what happens to it afterward, and, most importantly, what you can do to protect yourself.
Researchers at the University of Sheffield in the U.K. developed small robots called "Pipebots" that can travel inside water pipes to find and potentially repair leaks, all without any excavation.
A groundbreaking new study has uncovered disturbing AI blackmail behavior that many people are unaware of yet.
Four teams of autonomous humanoid robots competed in China's first AI soccer tournament, demonstrating advanced capabilities in ball detection and independent decision-making.
The ID. Buzz autonomous van features self-driving technology with 13 cameras, nine LiDAR units and five radars after Volkswagen partnered with Hamburg and Uber for 2026 deployments.
Social Security phishing scams use urgency and impersonation to steal personal data. Learn how to spot fake SSA emails and implement 10 protective measures.
French startup Pazzi Robotics created an AI-powered pizza robot that made pies in under five minutes without human help, but it closed in 2022 despite patents and expert partnerships.
Reclaim your time from big tech with effective screen time reduction strategies for iPhone and Android, featuring steps to limit app usage and create phone-free zones.
Amazon Prime Day shoppers face threats from 120,000-plus scam websites as cybercriminals prepare phishing traps and malware ahead of the July sales event.
Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.
The AEON humanoid robot tackles labor challenges with Nvidia AI, Microsoft Azure cloud and advanced spatial awareness, working alongside industry leaders Schaeffler and Pilatus.

Honey I Can?t Afford The Kids

Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More

Minimizing Homework Hassles

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More

How To Help Your Child Learn

Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More

Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help

More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More

Help Your Child Do Better in School

1. Create... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More

Committed Parenting

When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More

My Teenaged Parents

Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled.... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 3 More Dangerous Myths

MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More

The Long Journey Home

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More

How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast

If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More

The Best and Worst of Motherhood

Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite... Read More

To Test or Not To Test - That Is the Question

Little Suzy has really been having a hard time getting... Read More

Books Around the House Make A Difference in Literacy Rates

We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

Will My Child Ever Out-grow His Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at... Read More

Visiting the Library

Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More

Are You Reading to Your Kids?

Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More

Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing

You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More

When Your Chicks Leave the Nest

When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

scheduled maid service Park Ridge ..