Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). However, a majority of these women truly prefer to be at home, and are spending days trapped in a work "cell" and feeling committed for life.

First and foremost, I would like to stress that I am not going to join the pros or cons of either side of this debate. I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mother. I think they both have their advantages and disadvantages. I have equally loved and loathed both on any given day!

When I was working in sales and marketing, I loved the ability to meet new people, to negotiate, to close deals, to be given a task, a goal, a deadline, and to be able to start and finish a project. The hardest transition to full time "mommy" world for me is that no task or project ever seems complete. I make the meal and it's quickly eaten. I make and clean up after another meal, and another meal only to be greeted by requests for many impromptu snacks. I do the laundry, and it's worn, becomes dirty and needs to be done again. I wash the dishes, the floor, clean the house, and within a matter of hours my hard work is all undone. This applies to the bigger projects as well, like reorganizing cupboards, closets, and drawers, although at least this usually buys me a few days of pride and satisfaction, rather than just a few hours.

However, even though my tasks may never seem accomplished, my house never as clean as I feel it is suppose to be, there are days when I am playing with my children, laughing, hugging, holding them and I think I would have missed moment. Everyday they grow and change and it becomes harder to remember what they were like the month prior, nonetheless a year prior. For this I am thankful for an opportunity to have these special "mommy" moments.

I think that we as women have such strong bonds and influence on each other in friendships and in family relationships. We need to use that influence and stop debating each other over who is right and who is wrong in the stay-at-home or work debate and just accept that we each have our own "right".

For women who desperately yearn to be home with their children, we need to fight for employers and businesses to create better work at home opportunities so that if money is an issue, and a dual income is necessary, it doesn't have to be at the cost of our desired family life. After carrying a child inside of us for nine months and giving birth, we have earned the right to spend every waking moment with him or her is we so desire.

For women who truly enjoy and thrive in a work atmosphere, I say then don't feel guilty. I am taking pleasure in a hiatus right now, but I sincerely enjoyed working as well. Women have labored a long, hard time to pave the way for the success were seeing in today's culture and you needn't give that up to become a mother if working makes you happy. The popular saying that relates to families "if Mom is happy, we're all happy" couldn't be more true!

I will emphasize that as a working Mother or parent, you do need to set boundaries with your employer, and let them know that your family is as important as your career. When I was working, I fought for and demanded a part-time flexible schedule that worked for my family.

Except for the occasional project, I made it a priority to leave the office on time everyday, making it understood by my boss and coworkers that this was my schedule and I would not impress anyone with late night office departures.

Coincidently, in every office I have worked in, it is often those who consistently spent most of their day accomplishing very little, that ended up burning the "midnight" oil. I spent my days working smart and efficiently, and felt no guilt at my "on time" departure routine. So don't feel pressured to stay late, because it looks good in the eyes of your coworkers. My bosses always knew how hard I worked, and none of them blinked an eye when I left for the day.

So ladies, instead of debating each other, let's use our influence, our power, our minds, and our hearts, to help each other do what is right for one another; even if our "right" may be different from someone else's. We all need to work together in order to continue to make a difference. Together, we can make certain that work choices, family flexible schedules, and genuine work from home opportunities are available to us so we can support our families both financially and emotionally.

We may not always agree when it comes to various parenting issues, but I am certain as parents we can unanimously agree that we all love our children.

Tina Frazer is the Founder of Let's Be Friends.net, a friendship website for women. let's be friends.net promotes and encourages new friendships among women of all ages* and stages of life who share similar interests, lifestyles, and values. Our mission at Let's Be Friends.net is to reintroduce friendship as a priority in women's lives. For more information about Let's Be Friends.net visit let's be friends.net

*Members must be at least 18 years old.

bathroom cleaning service Lincolnshire ..
In The News:

The Omoway Omo X features a modular design, obstacle detection and emergency braking, and can drive itself to charging stations, signaling the future of smart urban mobility.
PillTrek, a tiny wireless smart capsule created by Caltech, provides real-time gut health data by detecting electrolytes, metabolites, glucose, hormones, pH levels and temperature.
Learn to spot fake bank text messages with five warning signs of Chase phishing scams, including suspicious links and urgent deadlines designed to steal your account information.
Robot coyotes built on motorized cars reaching 20 mph are being deployed at military airfields as an innovative solution to wildlife threats to aircraft safety.
Explore Google Drive's strengths and weaknesses as a backup solution, including its encryption security, privacy concerns and comparison to dedicated backup tools.
As environmental challenges grow, underwater habitats gain momentum with DEEP's Vanguard, supporting short missions and Sentinel designed for 28-day stays at depth.
The new Urban Eyes safety vest features dual cameras, reflective panels and a wireless remote to deter harassers and provide peace of mind for outdoor workouts.
The $200 billion data broker industry tracks your personal details across websites, posing privacy risks that can be mitigated through data removal services.
UCC Holding has teamed up with COBOD to create desert-inspired, 3D-printed schools in Qatar, featuring dune-like wavy walls impossible with conventional construction.
Darkling beetles equipped with microchip backpacks can be guided through disaster areas using electrical signals, offering a biological solution for search and rescue.
Scammers use number porting to take control of outdated landlines still connected to financial accounts, bypassing two-factor authentication to steal funds while avoiding detection.
Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey developed Bitchat, a privacy-focused messaging app that works offline via Bluetooth without requiring email, phone numbers or personal data.
Google is making a push to ensure its AI, Gemini, is tightly integrated with Android systems by granting it access to core apps like WhatsApp, Messages, and Phone.
A new green energy system is set to change how we capture clean power, and it all starts with the ocean. French startup Seaturns has designed technology that taps into the natural motion of the sea.
Cybersecurity researchers are warning that hackers have started exploiting flaws in chatbots to carry out AI phishing attacks.
Google has just made it easier than ever to regain control of your inbox with Gmail's new Manage Subscriptions tool.
Despite the benefits, residential power saver programs come with several potential drawbacks and concerns that have been raised by both customers and experts.
The Blackdot AI tattoo machine is quiet. It's steady. And according to early users, it hurts a lot less.
Attackers have started to exploit the very signals that users assume will keep them safe when it comes to add-ons to improve productivity or entertainment.
Located on Cerro Pachón in Chile, the world's most powerful digital camera is set to transform how we see the universe.
The innovative DQ Tower stands 28 feet tall with 420 square feet of living space, featuring floor-to-ceiling windows and premium amenities in a prefabricated design.
A new mmWave imaging system allows warehouse robots to scan and create 3D models of objects inside sealed containers, potentially revolutionizing shipping processes.
Family fraud endangers seniors when relatives exploit their trust, but removing personal data online and monitoring identity can prevent financial harm to aging parents.
A study analyzing 500,000 customer service interactions shows chatbots struggle with complex issues while human agents excel at matching customer communication styles.
Aigen's Element robot uses solar power and AI to provide farmers with a sustainable alternative to herbicides, working efficiently in cotton and soy fields.

How Effective is Attend in Helping Children with Attention Disorders?

In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More

Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child?

"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More

Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician

When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More

More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting

Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More

Create a Story Book with Your Child

A fun way to build your child's imaginationWriting is still... Read More

Quality Time?

There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More

Hurting from the Outside - In: The Rise of Self-harming

Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More

Simple Indulgences for September

As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More

Aptitude, Achievement, Processing Deficit - What Does It All Mean?

You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More

Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own

I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he... Read More

Parenting in the Kitchen ? Lessons in Cooking, Socializing, and Bonding

Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More

Personal Honor

There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More

How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?

It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More

The Laid Back Parents Guide to Teaching Your Child to Read

At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Blackmail

Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More

A Minute Can Turn into Hours for the Child of a Work-at-Home Mom

In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More

The Value of Play

Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More

Spending Time With Your Child

Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More

Scolding: One of Communications Tools of Last Resort

(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More

recurring housekeeping Des Plaines ..