Why Me?
"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." --Neil Maxwell
Yesterday morning, my family and I got up at 5:30am in Mexico to begin our journey home from a holiday retreat. Eight hours of packing, driving, flying, and standing in line later, we arrived at the airport in Los Angeles physically intact but emotionally a bit worse for wear.
It was at this point, standing in yet another line with a screaming toddler in my arms, that my six year old daughter Clara decided she absolutely had to have a look at her passport picture. This was a seemingly innocuous request, but in fact would have involved my unhooking several bags from my shoulders and letting loose the toddler who, screaming aside, had already demonstrated her intention to leave no 'Do Not Enter' sign undisturbed in her exploration of the world of airport immigration.
Now, it would have been the easiest thing in the world to have thought 'why me?' when Clara was nipping at my ankles and the people around me in line were silently nominating me for a 'person I'd most like to not sit next to on an airplane' award. (Actually, many of the people around me may have been asking themselves just that.)
But after responding to Clara's continual requests like a six year old adult, (I believe the words "I'm not going to do it and you can't make me!" may have passed my lips), I took a deep breath, recognized that my reaction was more a function of my emotional state than her behavior, and I apologized for being mean to her.
"Mean?" she asked, incredulously. "You weren't mean to me. You're my daddy. Daddies can't be mean."
It was at this point that the question 'why me?' popped into my head. Why me? Why do I get to be loved so unconditionally by someone who is all too frequently in the line of fire when I lose my cool? How is it possible that her love and trust are still firmly intact after six years of sporadically positive parenting?
As I thought about some possible answers to those questions, the following story came to mind:
One day, a human went to heaven, in the way that humans often do. On arrival, the human was greeted by a host of angels and given a tour of all of heaven's wonders. Over the course of the tour, the human noticed that there was one room the angels quickly glided past each time they approached.
"What's in that room?" the human asked.
The angels looked at each other as if they'd been dreading the question. Finally, one of them stepped forward and said kindly, "We're not allowed to keep you out, but please believe us - you don't want to go in there."
The human's mind raced at the thought of what might be contained in that room. What could be so horrible that the angels of heaven would want to hide it away? The human knew that one should probably take angels at their word, but found it very hard to resist temptation. "After all", the human thought. "I'm only human."
Slowly walking towards the room, the human was filled with dread and wonder at what horrors might be about to be revealed. But in fact, the room was filled with the most wonderful things imaginable - a beautiful home, nice cars, great wisdom, a happy family, loving friends, and riches beyond measure.
Eyes wide, the human turned back to the angels. "But why didn't you want me to come in here? This room is filled with the most amazing things I've ever seen!"
The angels looked at each other sadly, then back at the human.
"These are all the blessings God wanted you to have while you were on earth, but you never believed you were worthy."
There is a notion in Jewish mysticism that the nature of the universe is not one of reward and punishment but rather one of receiving or rejecting God's blessings. When we connect with our sense of value in the world and connection to others and to life, we become like God - we share naturally and receive continually. When we cut off from our awareness of being of value and a part of all things, we become distinctly human. We retreat into ourselves and experience a world of pain, loss and suffering.
Maybe when good things happen to me, it's not so much a reward for good behavior as it is a case of an abundant universe sharing freely with one of its citizens. Maybe the reason I have a daughter who loves me unconditionally is to make it easier for me to be a really great father to her. And if you find yourself to be happy, or beautiful, or successful, or talented, or wealthy, maybe it's so you will be able to share your happiness, beauty, talent, and wealth with the world.
Michael Neill is a licensed Master Trainer of NLP and has written over 450 articles on in the areas of business success, money, relationships, health, happiness, well-being, and spirituality. His weekly coaching column is reprinted in newspapers and magazines throughout the world, and can be found online at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com
affordable house cleaning Park Ridge ..Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More
Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More
There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
My thirteen-year-old daughter recently called me up to say she... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More
I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
affordable house cleaning Mundelein ..Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
It may seem obvious to many people why literacy is... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Most of us really don't like it when someone is... Read More
At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
Parenting |