Why Me?
"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." --Neil Maxwell
Yesterday morning, my family and I got up at 5:30am in Mexico to begin our journey home from a holiday retreat. Eight hours of packing, driving, flying, and standing in line later, we arrived at the airport in Los Angeles physically intact but emotionally a bit worse for wear.
It was at this point, standing in yet another line with a screaming toddler in my arms, that my six year old daughter Clara decided she absolutely had to have a look at her passport picture. This was a seemingly innocuous request, but in fact would have involved my unhooking several bags from my shoulders and letting loose the toddler who, screaming aside, had already demonstrated her intention to leave no 'Do Not Enter' sign undisturbed in her exploration of the world of airport immigration.
Now, it would have been the easiest thing in the world to have thought 'why me?' when Clara was nipping at my ankles and the people around me in line were silently nominating me for a 'person I'd most like to not sit next to on an airplane' award. (Actually, many of the people around me may have been asking themselves just that.)
But after responding to Clara's continual requests like a six year old adult, (I believe the words "I'm not going to do it and you can't make me!" may have passed my lips), I took a deep breath, recognized that my reaction was more a function of my emotional state than her behavior, and I apologized for being mean to her.
"Mean?" she asked, incredulously. "You weren't mean to me. You're my daddy. Daddies can't be mean."
It was at this point that the question 'why me?' popped into my head. Why me? Why do I get to be loved so unconditionally by someone who is all too frequently in the line of fire when I lose my cool? How is it possible that her love and trust are still firmly intact after six years of sporadically positive parenting?
As I thought about some possible answers to those questions, the following story came to mind:
One day, a human went to heaven, in the way that humans often do. On arrival, the human was greeted by a host of angels and given a tour of all of heaven's wonders. Over the course of the tour, the human noticed that there was one room the angels quickly glided past each time they approached.
"What's in that room?" the human asked.
The angels looked at each other as if they'd been dreading the question. Finally, one of them stepped forward and said kindly, "We're not allowed to keep you out, but please believe us - you don't want to go in there."
The human's mind raced at the thought of what might be contained in that room. What could be so horrible that the angels of heaven would want to hide it away? The human knew that one should probably take angels at their word, but found it very hard to resist temptation. "After all", the human thought. "I'm only human."
Slowly walking towards the room, the human was filled with dread and wonder at what horrors might be about to be revealed. But in fact, the room was filled with the most wonderful things imaginable - a beautiful home, nice cars, great wisdom, a happy family, loving friends, and riches beyond measure.
Eyes wide, the human turned back to the angels. "But why didn't you want me to come in here? This room is filled with the most amazing things I've ever seen!"
The angels looked at each other sadly, then back at the human.
"These are all the blessings God wanted you to have while you were on earth, but you never believed you were worthy."
There is a notion in Jewish mysticism that the nature of the universe is not one of reward and punishment but rather one of receiving or rejecting God's blessings. When we connect with our sense of value in the world and connection to others and to life, we become like God - we share naturally and receive continually. When we cut off from our awareness of being of value and a part of all things, we become distinctly human. We retreat into ourselves and experience a world of pain, loss and suffering.
Maybe when good things happen to me, it's not so much a reward for good behavior as it is a case of an abundant universe sharing freely with one of its citizens. Maybe the reason I have a daughter who loves me unconditionally is to make it easier for me to be a really great father to her. And if you find yourself to be happy, or beautiful, or successful, or talented, or wealthy, maybe it's so you will be able to share your happiness, beauty, talent, and wealth with the world.
Michael Neill is a licensed Master Trainer of NLP and has written over 450 articles on in the areas of business success, money, relationships, health, happiness, well-being, and spirituality. His weekly coaching column is reprinted in newspapers and magazines throughout the world, and can be found online at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Isn't the technology of today is amazing?! Between the speed... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More
Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More
In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
Lets face it becoming a mum is a bit of... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games... Read More
Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love,"... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
Parenting |