Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your children, but it is the one most frequently overlooked.

Consistency means dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means saying no to children's constant requests for five more minutes of television at night or a third serve of ice cream. It means following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave every time. It doesn't mean if children arrive home after dark from a friend's place you ground them sometimes but at other times you just voice your disapproval. That type of inconsistency makes you responsible for children's misbehaviour and teaches children nothing about accountability.

Consistency also means that both parents have a similar approach to behaviours. If mum is too strict and dad is too lenient children will know who to go to if they wish to take advantage. They will soon play one parent off against each other. If a child wants to get away without doing a job or stay an extra hour at a friend's place just ask dad because he is easy-going. Even if you are separated, talk about your approaches to discipline and find some common ground. Agree on such issues as family rules, pocket money, and guidelines for going out and suitable consequences for misbehaviour.

If you disagree with a partner's approach do so behind closed doors. When unplanned situations occur don't be afraid to tell your children that you need to consult with your partner before making a decision. Children will realise that you are working as a team and that you are making a considered approach to their behaviour or request.

Consistency, like routines, are often sacrificed by busy working parents and put in the 'too hard basket'. When we are tired, stretched and overworked the last thing we want to do is engage in a battle with children over what are sometimes petty issues. You may have spent the whole day dealing with difficult customers or colleagues only to come home and find that you have another battle on your hands with equally belligerent children. So to avoid an argument, a tantrum or tears you give in to your child's unruly behaviour or unreasonable request.

But giving in rather than being consistent and holding your ground is a smart long-term strategy. Kids learn quickly how far they can push a parent before they give in. If you give in occasionally they will learn that if they push you hard enough and long enough you will cave in. So consistency is about being strong and holding your ground. That is hard work because the average child will push parental boundaries about 30per cent of the time and more difficult kids push your boundaries twice that much. It is hard work being consistent but good parenting demands it.

A comprehensive strategy to help you effectively manage children's behaviour is available in Michael Grose's landmark parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

tidy up service Glenview ..
In The News:

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.
New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.
A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.
AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.
A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.
New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.
Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.
Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.
Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.
Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.
Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.
Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.
iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.
Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.
FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.
Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.
Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.
Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.
Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.
Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.
New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

When Your Childs Adoption Story Changes: Nothing But the Facts or is It Nothing are the Facts?

Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More

Why Mother?s Day is Important For Children

Mother's Day is important for children.This Mother's Day take note... Read More

Strong-willed Kids: Raising a Spirited Child

Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid Them: Top 5 Internet Safety Tips

The Real Dangers to Kids Online and How to Avoid... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More

How to Raise Creative Kids

"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More

Time Managment Skills for Children

Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More

I Dont Believe in ADHD

O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More

Lets Read! The Benefits of Reading to Your Children

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More

Your Job as a Role Model

A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More

Its OK to Say No

In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More

Mothers Day Tribute

As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Difference

There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More

Cyber Parenting 101

Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More

Personal Responsibility: What It Means and Whose Job is It?

"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More

Give Your Child the Gift of Self-Esteem

Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More

Picky Eater Kid Nutritional Guidelines

Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in... Read More

Mommies and Me Special Time

Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More

Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety

Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Avoid Aging Parents Becoming A Burden

By not planning for the future we guarantee that we... Read More

Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me

Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More

Adolescence - Clues and Advice

Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More

maid service near Winnetka ..