The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at us from the lips of our teenage or adult offspring they cut sharper than any blade forged from steel. The wound can fester leaving us open and vulnerable to future hurt. We forgive them. They're our children, we love them so how can we not forgive them? Yet the pain of such damaging words still lingers. In the back of a parent's mind, it is only natural that doubt should remain. Did he really mean what he said or was it just anger talking? Does my child really hate me? Have I failed as a parent?
We're only human so we're bound to question ourselves. We automatically assume that our offspring are acting out due to our own inadequacies as a parent. We are left feeling a jumble of mixed emotions. We feel angry with our children for the tone they've taken with us; we feel angry with ourselves for not raising them better but most of all we feel hurt. We wonder what we've done to deserve such treatment. Times have changed. Children are more outspoken and candid with their parents but a change of times should not warrant disrespect. As a teenager I would have never treated my mother with the type of disrespect that is so common these days. Certainly we had our moments like every parent and child but I would not have deliberately spoken out against her with malice or contempt.
Many parents tend to blame themselves to the point that they will utterly deny any disrespect directed toward them from their own children. This is done more to protect themselves rather than their offspring. To admit disrespect on the part of their children would be to admit failure on their part. Parents shouldn't always blame themselves for the shortcomings of their daughters and sons. We do the best we can and each child is different as is each parent. It used to be that parents expected too much of their children. Although that still occurs, it seems the roles have reversed to some extent. Now, children expect too much of their parents. This is due in part to the commercialism and competitiveness of the world we live in. Society is one huge commercial venture.
Oftentimes parents are expected to have better jobs, nicer cars and bigger houses. If they can't provide their offspring with fat allowances and the newest name brand clothes they may be labeled a bad parent. Many teenagers have an issue with respect. They fully expect others to treat them with respect but they certainly don't know how to treat others, including their own parents, the same way. Teaching kids good old fashioned values may work for some but definitely not all. Sadly, it appears the temptations of today's world seem to be winning out. Perhaps, divine justice will prevail when our children reap what they sow through their own children.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com
professional maid services Deerfield ..Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More
It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
quick home cleaning Lake Forest ..There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
A while ago I received this story from David in... Read More
The least flexible character in all of the stories of... Read More
One of parents' most important duties is to protect their... Read More
Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
The hot new reality TV show "Nanny 911" has been... Read More
Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More
Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More
Parenting |