The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at us from the lips of our teenage or adult offspring they cut sharper than any blade forged from steel. The wound can fester leaving us open and vulnerable to future hurt. We forgive them. They're our children, we love them so how can we not forgive them? Yet the pain of such damaging words still lingers. In the back of a parent's mind, it is only natural that doubt should remain. Did he really mean what he said or was it just anger talking? Does my child really hate me? Have I failed as a parent?
We're only human so we're bound to question ourselves. We automatically assume that our offspring are acting out due to our own inadequacies as a parent. We are left feeling a jumble of mixed emotions. We feel angry with our children for the tone they've taken with us; we feel angry with ourselves for not raising them better but most of all we feel hurt. We wonder what we've done to deserve such treatment. Times have changed. Children are more outspoken and candid with their parents but a change of times should not warrant disrespect. As a teenager I would have never treated my mother with the type of disrespect that is so common these days. Certainly we had our moments like every parent and child but I would not have deliberately spoken out against her with malice or contempt.
Many parents tend to blame themselves to the point that they will utterly deny any disrespect directed toward them from their own children. This is done more to protect themselves rather than their offspring. To admit disrespect on the part of their children would be to admit failure on their part. Parents shouldn't always blame themselves for the shortcomings of their daughters and sons. We do the best we can and each child is different as is each parent. It used to be that parents expected too much of their children. Although that still occurs, it seems the roles have reversed to some extent. Now, children expect too much of their parents. This is due in part to the commercialism and competitiveness of the world we live in. Society is one huge commercial venture.
Oftentimes parents are expected to have better jobs, nicer cars and bigger houses. If they can't provide their offspring with fat allowances and the newest name brand clothes they may be labeled a bad parent. Many teenagers have an issue with respect. They fully expect others to treat them with respect but they certainly don't know how to treat others, including their own parents, the same way. Teaching kids good old fashioned values may work for some but definitely not all. Sadly, it appears the temptations of today's world seem to be winning out. Perhaps, divine justice will prevail when our children reap what they sow through their own children.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com
elite cleaning services Mundelein ..Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More
Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Mundelein ..Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
Parenting |