The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at us from the lips of our teenage or adult offspring they cut sharper than any blade forged from steel. The wound can fester leaving us open and vulnerable to future hurt. We forgive them. They're our children, we love them so how can we not forgive them? Yet the pain of such damaging words still lingers. In the back of a parent's mind, it is only natural that doubt should remain. Did he really mean what he said or was it just anger talking? Does my child really hate me? Have I failed as a parent?
We're only human so we're bound to question ourselves. We automatically assume that our offspring are acting out due to our own inadequacies as a parent. We are left feeling a jumble of mixed emotions. We feel angry with our children for the tone they've taken with us; we feel angry with ourselves for not raising them better but most of all we feel hurt. We wonder what we've done to deserve such treatment. Times have changed. Children are more outspoken and candid with their parents but a change of times should not warrant disrespect. As a teenager I would have never treated my mother with the type of disrespect that is so common these days. Certainly we had our moments like every parent and child but I would not have deliberately spoken out against her with malice or contempt.
Many parents tend to blame themselves to the point that they will utterly deny any disrespect directed toward them from their own children. This is done more to protect themselves rather than their offspring. To admit disrespect on the part of their children would be to admit failure on their part. Parents shouldn't always blame themselves for the shortcomings of their daughters and sons. We do the best we can and each child is different as is each parent. It used to be that parents expected too much of their children. Although that still occurs, it seems the roles have reversed to some extent. Now, children expect too much of their parents. This is due in part to the commercialism and competitiveness of the world we live in. Society is one huge commercial venture.
Oftentimes parents are expected to have better jobs, nicer cars and bigger houses. If they can't provide their offspring with fat allowances and the newest name brand clothes they may be labeled a bad parent. Many teenagers have an issue with respect. They fully expect others to treat them with respect but they certainly don't know how to treat others, including their own parents, the same way. Teaching kids good old fashioned values may work for some but definitely not all. Sadly, it appears the temptations of today's world seem to be winning out. Perhaps, divine justice will prevail when our children reap what they sow through their own children.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com
best cleaning company Lincolnshire ..Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
Child tantrums are a way for children to express their... Read More
Life is funny.My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new... Read More
on demand house cleaning Lake Forest ..It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More
Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very... Read More
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Parenting |