Home
>
Parenting
>
Whats in a Name?

Whats in a Name?

My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when I was younger that irritated me enormously. Worse than that, my sole middle name is Norman, just as my father's was before me, and his father before him. It didn't seem to do them any harm, lugging round such a tag all their lives, though I'd prefer not to have to.

I mean, can you name a famous film star or sportsman named Norman? I can't. I always wanted to be called Tempest, or Tyrone, or Troy, or even Trigger, but certainly not Norman. There have been famous Norman's of course. Norman Schwartzkopf, army general, Norman Tebbitt, the British Cabinet Minister, who always appeared in public as if he had a rotting fish adjacent to his nostrils. He was one of Mrs Thatcher's staunchest sidekicks, until he was blown out of his bed in the Brighton bombing atrocity. Prior to that he was more famous for telling the nation's unemployed to "get on yer bike" and find work.

Of course William the Conqueror was a Norman, but he wasn't actually called Norman, he wasn't Norman the Norman, but he did invade and conquer Britain in 1066 and slay King Harold with an apple in his eye, or was it an arrow? I forget now, for it was so long ago. But either way, the new King Willie, as he was known to the locals, and much worse than that behind his back by the conquered, never once considered changing his name to Norman. No surprise there then.

But back to my cousin. Worse even than the fact he had five names, but that one of them was St. John. Saint John! How could anyone compete with a saint in the family? And oddly his mother would sometimes use that name in public. She would come into the yard and yell, "Come in for your dinner Saint John," except she didn't say Saint John, she pronounced it Sinjun, as if to rhyme with Injun, and for some reason that riled me all the more. It's surprising how riled you can become when you're eight.

Nowadays of course I'd probably choose to be called Tiger or Tyson. It's the "T" thing, "T" for Tough. I guess the ideal name would be to be called Tempest, Tyrone, Troy, Tiger, Tyson. How much Testosterone could you handle?

I suppose it could be worse. I could have been christened Hilary, or Leslie, or Vivian, boy's names all, of a kind. Perhaps Norman isn't so bad after all, though I've successfully kept it under wraps, till now. I even kept it secret from the missus, and for years she was convinced my middle name was Nebuchannezzar, I kid you not. It was only at the critical moment that she discovered I was a Norman, and she almost wet herself on discovering the news, a not untypical reaction. It could have been embarrassing too, with the crowd gathered there.

And then there's that business of being called Davis Love the Third, or Grover Wilson the Fourth, as if they are mediaeval kings. What is that all that about? Grandma comes in and says, "There's a package for you Grover." And four different people step forward and say, "Thanks grandma." I think not.

So what's in a name? Does it really matter if we are called Horace or Hector, or River or Raymond, or Butch or Basil? Well of course it does! To boys. You bet it does.

I don't use my middle name in my byline, you might have noticed that, I still keep it firmly under wraps whenever I can, I sometimes even call myself Nathan, if I'm pushed, and few people know that I am a Norman. It's a secret, just between you and me, and you won't tell anyone, will you?

David Carter writes for numerous papers and web sites. He also runs a holiday cottage website, http://www.pebblebeachmedia.co.uk where you can access over 7,000 cottages, apartments and villas worldwide. You can contact David on any matter at http://www.pebblebeachmedia.co.uk

executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport car

In The News:

Getting virus alerts on your iPhone? Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to handle fake scam alerts and boost security.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says opening emails is safe, but risks arise from interacting with links, attachments or HTML content.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals four signs of compromised Social Security numbers and offers five steps to protect yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how MAB Robotics' Honey Badger 4.0, a versatile robot, now walks underwater with amphibious skills.

An updated Android trojan called FakeCall hijacks bank calls. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Android phone manufacturers and Google need to step up their game on security.

The Massimo Modular E9 is a sleek, smart and comfy tiny home in 409 square feet. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson takes a closer look at what the future of housing might look like.

Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.

Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.

A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.

Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.

Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.

Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.

Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.

Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.

More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.

UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.

Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.

Whats in a Name?

Parenting