My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when I was younger that irritated me enormously. Worse than that, my sole middle name is Norman, just as my father's was before me, and his father before him. It didn't seem to do them any harm, lugging round such a tag all their lives, though I'd prefer not to have to.
I mean, can you name a famous film star or sportsman named Norman? I can't. I always wanted to be called Tempest, or Tyrone, or Troy, or even Trigger, but certainly not Norman. There have been famous Norman's of course. Norman Schwartzkopf, army general, Norman Tebbitt, the British Cabinet Minister, who always appeared in public as if he had a rotting fish adjacent to his nostrils. He was one of Mrs Thatcher's staunchest sidekicks, until he was blown out of his bed in the Brighton bombing atrocity. Prior to that he was more famous for telling the nation's unemployed to "get on yer bike" and find work.
Of course William the Conqueror was a Norman, but he wasn't actually called Norman, he wasn't Norman the Norman, but he did invade and conquer Britain in 1066 and slay King Harold with an apple in his eye, or was it an arrow? I forget now, for it was so long ago. But either way, the new King Willie, as he was known to the locals, and much worse than that behind his back by the conquered, never once considered changing his name to Norman. No surprise there then.
But back to my cousin. Worse even than the fact he had five names, but that one of them was St. John. Saint John! How could anyone compete with a saint in the family? And oddly his mother would sometimes use that name in public. She would come into the yard and yell, "Come in for your dinner Saint John," except she didn't say Saint John, she pronounced it Sinjun, as if to rhyme with Injun, and for some reason that riled me all the more. It's surprising how riled you can become when you're eight.
Nowadays of course I'd probably choose to be called Tiger or Tyson. It's the "T" thing, "T" for Tough. I guess the ideal name would be to be called Tempest, Tyrone, Troy, Tiger, Tyson. How much Testosterone could you handle?
I suppose it could be worse. I could have been christened Hilary, or Leslie, or Vivian, boy's names all, of a kind. Perhaps Norman isn't so bad after all, though I've successfully kept it under wraps, till now. I even kept it secret from the missus, and for years she was convinced my middle name was Nebuchannezzar, I kid you not. It was only at the critical moment that she discovered I was a Norman, and she almost wet herself on discovering the news, a not untypical reaction. It could have been embarrassing too, with the crowd gathered there.
And then there's that business of being called Davis Love the Third, or Grover Wilson the Fourth, as if they are mediaeval kings. What is that all that about? Grandma comes in and says, "There's a package for you Grover." And four different people step forward and say, "Thanks grandma." I think not.
So what's in a name? Does it really matter if we are called Horace or Hector, or River or Raymond, or Butch or Basil? Well of course it does! To boys. You bet it does.
I don't use my middle name in my byline, you might have noticed that, I still keep it firmly under wraps whenever I can, I sometimes even call myself Nathan, if I'm pushed, and few people know that I am a Norman. It's a secret, just between you and me, and you won't tell anyone, will you?
Copyright David Carter 2005. Reproduced with permission.
David Carter writes for numerous papers and web sites. He also runs a holiday cottage website, http://www.pebblebeachmedia.co.uk where you can access over 7,000 cottages, apartments and villas worldwide. You can contact David on any matter at http://www.pebblebeachmedia.co.uk
no-contract cleaning service Glenview ..When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233Percentage... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years... Read More
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know.... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More
A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get... Read More
According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More
Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
When parents help their children learn to read, they help... Read More
My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the... Read More
Thank you for all that you do in the classroom!... Read More
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More
Parenting |