Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth know-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. What do I do?"
Ahhh.. the joys of independence in children. I have found in working with children that when negative consequences are imposed (loss of privilages, time outs, etc.), they simply do not work. My advice and what I try to do is to always let the child have a choice in the matter at hand. For example: Your six year old (and any age for that matter) is not listening to you. You are asking him/her to pick up their room. They are ignoring you and doing what they want to do. Instead of saying "if you don't listen there will be a consequence (time out, loss of privilage, etc.) Try rephrasing and saying to your child, "Boys/or girls that want to watch television later will have their room clean within the next twenty minutes (or whatever time frame within reason for you). Make it a positive statement instead of a negative one. You can also use any type of reward, it doesn't have to be t.v. privilages (a snack, time outside playing, phone time, game time, etc.)
This technique also allows your child to make a decision in their own fate. If they choose to listen to you and clean their room, then they watch television. If they choose not to listen, then unfortunately they do not get to watch television. Leave it simple. I know as a neat freak myself that to leave the room messy for your child is HARD!! But simply say to your child, I am fine with your decision not to clean your room, unfortunately, you also have made the decision not to watch television also. The key here is to stay clam and positive about the decision that they have made and walk away.
Of course you are bound to have tears and comments coming your way about not letting the child watch television. Again, keep it simple, remind your child that they did have a choice to clean their room and watch t.v. or to not clean their room and not watch t.v. Remind them that you love them and are fine with their choice. After a few times of making the wrong choice, children ultimately will start making the better choice for them. The key to your success with this is to stay calm and positive.
Remember to always stay clam, and positive, no matter how hard it is!
Tammi Kauppinen is a proud stay at home mom with five wonderful children. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater with a degree in Special Education, she decided to find a way to stay home and raise her children. That hasn't kept her from working with kids! She has run an in-home day care for ten years, worked in variety of school districts with children with special needs, acted as a foster parent to teenage boys and as a respite provider for other foster children. She continues to work with children - including her own - on a daily basis and publishes a weekly email on stay at home mom tips. To sign up for this FREE service go to http://www.stayathomemominc.com
tidy up service Northbrook ..Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
Studies have shown that:1 out of 4 children were sent... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More
"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation... Read More
reliable home cleaners Buffalo Grove ..Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
I will cherish this moment. I will not let it... Read More
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is... Read More
How should one look upon Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
Parenting |