What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and separation? Is there divorce parenting approaches that really work? Read and learn the divorce parenting approaches that really work.

Going through the process of divorce is a challenging life transition for both parents and children. During their parents' divorce, children often feel a wide variety of conflicting emotions. It is very important for parents to provide their children with understanding and support. Overall, the children who do best after divorce and separation are those whose parents dominantly employ 5 divorce parenting approaches. They:

  • Listen to children and nurture an independent and empathic relationship with each of them.

  • Fully support the children's relationships with the other parent making them feel loved and wanted in both homes.

  • Develop positive strategies for setting limits and imposing appropriate discipline.

  • Continue to hold reasonably high expectations for the children, regardless of trying circumstances.

  • Shield the children from their parental disagreements and resentments.

    Each of the above is presented here below in great detail.

    1. Listen to children and nurture an independent and empathic relationship with each of them.

    To better help our children we must first understand them. To be able to understand them completely, we need to listen and create an environment favorable for them to speak out. To make things happen, you need to:

    • Encourage your children to talk about how they feel. Let your children know that they can openly talk to you about their feelings of your separation or divorce.

    • Keep lines of communication open and answer all questions about the changes. Make sure your children feels like they can ask you questions and get answers about why the divorce happened and what to expect.

    • Convey that you are genuinely interested in their input. This will make your children feel they are participating in contributing to the process of recovering from the divorce.

    2. Fully support the children's relationships with the other parent making them feel loved and wanted in both homes.

    Research tells us that children benefit from keeping the familial ties in their life that were meaningful and important to them prior to the divorce. Of these familial ties, the most important are the child-parent ties. Remember that divorce does not end children's need for parents or it ends your role as parent. You should:

    • Recognize that for your child to have the best chance of growing up to be a functional human male or female, he/she will need both parents as role models and nurturers. This means that there should be some pathway of getting through to the child whatever good that parent has to offer.

    • Respect your child's needs to have both parents there for them, without having them worry that they are going to die of embarrassment if you both start to fight in public. Encourage the other parent to stay involved in the children's school and extra-curricular activities.

    • Allow the children to enjoy the time that they spend with each parent. Encourage your children to spend good times with the other parent. Don't be jealous or upset, as children do not want to take sides and love one parent more than the other.

    • Help your children and ex-spouse have a successful relationship as just as you would help your children to succeed in school or sports. Remember that your ex-spouse is an important part of your child's life. Just like you, your children have a shared history with this person as well as the present and future.

    3. Develop positive strategies for setting limits and imposing appropriate discipline.

    Often after a divorce parents will either become stricter or more lenient. Some parents feel like the other parent is letting the child get away with everything; therefore, they attempt to enforce discipline across both homes. Other parents do not want to spend the limited time they have with their child punishing them and tend to be too lenient. It can be difficult for children when their parents have drastically different rules and expectations. To give the child a sense of stability and security, you should do the following:

    • Maintain consistent routines. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. At times, some parenting issues require communication and coordination between parents, if the child spends time with both parents. Both parents don't have to do things exactly the same way, but it is easier for children if most things are similar at each home.

    • Set limits and rules clearly, and enforces them. But within these limits do allow leeway for your children to be children.

    4. Continue to hold reasonably high expectations for the children, regardless of trying circumstances.

    Help your children have positive feelings about themselves. Children who feel good about them usually succeed. They seem to get better grades in school, they are better at taking on hard jobs, and they try their best. Also, they tend to make better friends because they seem surer of themselves. As parents, you can play an important role in helping children have positive feelings about themselves. Here are some ways you can help your children to feel good about them.

    • Help them learn to set realistic and reachable goals so they can regularly achieve success. Praise them for success.

    • Give your children responsibility so that they feel useful, and valued. Asking nothing of them implies that you think they are not capable of doing a job well, which is demeaning.

    • Encourage them to make decisions, and teach that they must accept responsibility for those decisions.

    5. Shield the children from their parental disagreements and resentments.

    Stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Rumbles of discontent between parents leave children feeling insecure. It is therefore so important for you and your partner to try to agree on matters related to children and their needs. You can employ strategies such as:

    • Be able to step back and keep your feelings about your ex-spouse separate from those you have about your children's parent. Many people make lousy husbands or wives, but they are terrific parents.

    • If you cannot be civil with your ex-spouse, then work out a plan and set up rules so that your child does not have to witness your wrath. Let your children feel with ease rather than going through a gauntlet of your venom for each other.

    • Get to work on resolving your feelings about your ex-spouse. That means if you can't get over this yourself, get some help. Other people are suffering besides you, and those other people are your children!

    Certainly, some children still do best after divorce and separation. All their parents did were employing tested divorce parenting approaches that really work. You can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Follow the above approaches for your children sake.

    Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

    Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

    About The Author

    Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; http://www.101divorceparenting.com

    Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
    In The News:

    A virtual private network can help ensure your information remains security and your privacy remains intact. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    Artificial intelligence-based cameras are giving air defense operators unprecedented capabilities in monitoring and protecting airspace.
    Apple's iOS 18.1 Inactivity Reboot automatically reboots your iPhone if it hasn't been used or unlocked for more than three days, providing better data protection.
    An inventor designed rooftop solar panels for a Tesla that draws solar energy while the car is parked, adding travel mileage without plugging in.
    There are currently no laws governing what artificial intelligence can and cannot do with the information it gathers; here are 10 things to avoid telling AI chatbots to keep yourself safe.
    A credit union with over 240,000 members recently revealed it was targeted by cybercriminals, resulting in a data breach that was part of a two-month attack by hackers.
    Scammers have become skilled at creating convincing fake websites that can easily fool unsuspecting users. The CyberGuy offers tips to protect yourself.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    CAPTCHAs, which are used by websites to confirm whether users are people or bots, are harmless, but hackers are using them to infect PCs with malware.
    Hackers recently leaked personal information of about 500,000 Americans and stole patient medical records that included lab results and insurance details.
    The holiday season sees a rise in mobile shopping scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you learn how to stay safe.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a VPN enhances online banking security by encrypting data and protecting privacy.
    Beware of these six sneaky holiday scams. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives you tips to avoid falling victim.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to securely back up and factory reset your Android to protect your privacy and data.
    Artificial intelligence is making life easier for cybercriminals, allowing them to create elaborate scams to trick people. Kurt the Cyberguy explains how to protect yourself.
    Cut through all the digital clutter and delete multiple emails from your Android simultaneously. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how it's done.
    Tips to prevent your holiday decorations from being stolen
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson lays out the immediate steps you should take if your phone has been hacked and your personal information becomes vulnerable.
    Fraudsters are sending people bogus invoices through PayPal as part of a sneaky scam that is going around; here's how to protect yourself from being fooled.
    A former Colgate-Palmolive employee was shocked to discover $750,000 had been drained from her 401(k) account. "CyberGuy" offers tips on how to prevent identity theft.
    Electric vehicle maker Harbinger recently showed its electric delivery truck can handle icy roads with agility and stability in winter.
    To make the busiest time of year more manageable, here are some tricks for tracking your packages, taking quality family photos and curating the perfect Christmas playlist.
    Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to keep your online Amazon gift purchases a secret from loved ones or friends this holiday season.
  • Clean Kid Syndrome - Does Your Child Suffer from it?

    The learning and development of Australian kids is under threat... Read More

    Goal Setting for Kids

    Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

    Learning my Childs Way

    Home schooling. What is it? What does it mean to... Read More

    Why Wont My Teens Clean Their Room?

    Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did... Read More

    Parents Need to Vent Anger! Try These 4 Steps to Serenity

    Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More

    A Chart for Everything

    For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

    Theres Never a Bad Time To Start Helping To Spread The Word of God

    Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More

    Bullies

    Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More

    How To Teach Children Loyalty and Dependability

    Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More

    Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

    My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More

    Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

    Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

    Character Education

    Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More

    Top 10 Ways to Motivate Your Student

    As the new school year begins, parents play a pivotal... Read More

    Types of Schools for Troubled Teens

    It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More

    Hints on how to encourage children to read

    Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More

    Selecting and Hiring Childcare Employees

    In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More

    Guide To Choosing Educational Toys For Children

    In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More

    Defrazzle with Hug Therapy

    "Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More

    Naming Your Baby Is Part of The Challenge of Being a Parent

    Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More

    What the Matter Is

    When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More

    How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

    Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

    Parenting Your Teenager: Truth or Lie?

    Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More

    So You Want to Adopt?

    Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More

    The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

    An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

    Empty Nest Syndrome

    Paula's last child had just gone off to college and... Read More

    shuttle from Midway Munster are ..