In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.
My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This is not to say that the family income is divided equally between all members. Rather, children are given a realistic sum of money, given their age, needs and ability to deal with money.
It makes sense to provide guidelines about spending including letting them know just what they are expected to buy. A child in lower primary school may get enough to purchase some sweets and one or two other items, whereas a child in upper primary school may get enough to cover lunch orders, bus money and some treats. An allowance that covers clothing can be useful for adolescents who can be very costly to outfit in the latest fashions. Let them know you will buy the basics items and that they can make up the difference between brand names and basic items from their pocket-money.
Pocket-money can teach children a great deal about goal-setting. By encouraging children to save for a big ticket item such as a bike or skateboard children learn a great deal about planning and looking ahead, the value of budgeting and experience personal satisfaction of reaching a goal
When used in this way, pocket-money is an excellent way to develop independence in children and young people.
But my children don't spend money wisely! It helps if you give them guidance from the start and also insist that they divide their pocket-money three ways ? some for spending, some for the future and some for charity or a social service. I am loathe to interfere too much in their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to have some control over their spending. However there are times when for children's own long-term best interests that parents need to step in. For instance, if a child has a weight-problem and he or she is always buying sweets then parental interference is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using common sense.
Should children be given pocket-money if they misbehave? It is wisest to keep pocket-money and behaviour separate. Parents can get themselves into also sorts of bother and cause a great deal of resentment in children when they withdraw pocket-money until they behave better. Look for other ways to promote good behaviour rather than withholding their allowance.
How often should pocket-money be given? It helps if pocket-money is given regularly. Like adults children should have a pay day each week or fortnight when they receive their share of the family wealth. Give it to them in coins so they can easily allocate it to different uses.
At what age can I start with pocket-money? You can start giving pocket-money to children as young at four and cut it out on their fifteenth birthday so they are encouraged to get a part-time job. For four and five year olds give them a couple of coins and relate them to two items that you routinely buy for them as treats. Let them know they can buy these themselves or put their money in a money-box for later.
The use of pocket-money is one way to remove pressure children place on their parents to buy, buy, buy. When they come home from school and ask you to buy the latest toy because all their friends have one you can let them know that they can purchase it or at least make a contribution from their personal wealth.
For more practical ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people read Michael's best selling parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.
Michael Grose is a leading parent educator. he is the author of six book and 300 articles, and he gives over 100 presentations a year.
For more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's Grose's free fortnightly email newsletter for parents. Get a free report Seven ways to reduce sibling fighting when you subscribe at http://www.parentingideas.com.au
best cleaning company Highland Park ..Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More
Peaceful Parenting? ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More
Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
So you want to be a mum? Every time you... Read More
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
There are many useful jogger stroller accessories out on the... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More
high-end home cleaning Winnetka ..Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent.... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More
Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Parenting |