1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.
2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.
3. They are behavioural models for their children. Their behaviours reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don't just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.
4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioural and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.
5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behaviour on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behaviour and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behaviour so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.
6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.
7. They take an active role in their children's education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.
8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behaviour reflects that fact.
9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.
10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.
? Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.
About The Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don't Die With Your helmet On. Visit www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work.
www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com
recurring maid service Wilmette ..So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More
There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
It's a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More
The key to a successful car wash fundraiser event is... Read More
You are at the grocery store with your daughter and... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago,... Read More
Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
One of the most difficult struggles in life for a... Read More
Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture... Read More
'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
If you are like most people today, you do not... Read More
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of... Read More
Parenting |