1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.
2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.
3. They are behavioural models for their children. Their behaviours reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don't just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.
4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioural and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.
5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behaviour on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behaviour and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behaviour so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.
6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.
7. They take an active role in their children's education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.
8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behaviour reflects that fact.
9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.
10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.
? Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.
About The Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don't Die With Your helmet On. Visit www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work.
www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com
whole house cleaning Deerfield ..Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
A fun way to build your child's imaginationWriting is still... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
Most day cares are non-profit organizations that must operate within... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Did you know there's a game children and parents play... Read More
Time management is an organisational concept traditionally associated with adults... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
home cleaning services Des Plaines ..Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
What would it be like to have a clone? What... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
Imagine having no television for an entire season. Such was... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More
Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
In 1996-97 we were contracted by VAXA International of Tampa,... Read More
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More
Parenting |