1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.
2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.
3. They are behavioural models for their children. Their behaviours reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don't just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.
4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioural and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.
5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behaviour on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behaviour and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behaviour so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.
6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.
7. They take an active role in their children's education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.
8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behaviour reflects that fact.
9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.
10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.
? Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.
About The Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don't Die With Your helmet On. Visit www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work.
www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com
Biggsville limousine Chicago airport .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareBeyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
"Money is tight, and my husband's obsessed with doing everything... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it.... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More
In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
What should the goals for counseling be when the patient... Read More
Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More
It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research... Read More
to o hare transportation Arthur ..As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their... Read More
The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.I'd been... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More
Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Parenting |