1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.
2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.
3. They are behavioural models for their children. Their behaviours reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don't just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.
4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioural and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.
5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behaviour on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behaviour and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behaviour so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.
6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.
7. They take an active role in their children's education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.
8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behaviour reflects that fact.
9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.
10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.
? Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.
About The Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don't Die With Your helmet On. Visit www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work.
www.dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com
cheapest limo Akin .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
When it's time to put your child into a daycare... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and... Read More
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had... Read More
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
Aledo wedding limo ..Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More
Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
How often do you think of family life as an... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More
Summer Survival The... Read More
There are a LOT of alternative treatments for sale out... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Parenting |