Home
>
Parenting
>
The Secret, Unconscious Game Children and Parents Play Where No One Wins!

The Secret, Unconscious Game Children and Parents Play Where No One Wins!

Did you know there's a game children and parents play all the time and yet, neither of them knows about it? This article discusses this unconscious, no-win game children play with their unknowing parents; how points get scored; why the game isn't a good thing to play, and how parents can stop the game.

I wish I could tell you the name of the game. It's a secret and has no name. Parents and children don't even know they're playing the game. The purpose of the game is simple; children play it to get their way. The game itself is based on a point system. Whoever has the most points has the most power and control in the parent-child relationship. The minute a child asks the parent for something and is met with the answer, "no," the game begins!

Children score points when they argue with their parents so much, their parents become upset, raise their voice and lose their 'cool.' Or when they are asked to do something and then don't do it correctly and they're not caught, they win a point. When children say they did their chores or completed their homework and didn't and their parents don't check up on them to see if they're being honest, another point gets scored. Another ay to score a point happens when parents tell their children tothey will do something for them and then don't follow through. If you tell your child you'll take him to the store on Wednesday and then weasel out of it, you just gave your child a point. Why? Because you're teaching your child it's okay not to be a person of your word.

Parents score points when they do not argue with their children. Imagine you have a bonfire on the beach. If you stop putting fire on, what happens? You guessed it! It eventually goes out. When they remain calm, regardless of a child's reactions,they get the point. Yes, I realize this is not always an easy thing to do.

Any time a parent follows through with a promise, another point is scored. If you say you'll drive your child to the store, do it. Don't make any promises unless you feel certain you can carry them through for the child. When you tell or ask your child to stop doing something and he doesn't, follow through until he does. This might mean you have to quietly and calmly walk over and physically help him. You could say something like, "Thanks for letting me know you need help doing this. I love you so much I want to make sure you can do this." If you say it sarcastically, the child gets the point because you won't sound sincere.

The downside of this game is that no one ever wins. When parents play, they give away their parental power and control to their children. Each time parents react with anger and frustration, they non-verbally let their children know the children are stronger than the parent. If a child gets the unconscious message he or she is stronger, that child won't feel safe. "Who's going to take care of me and keep me safe if I'm emotionally stronger than my parent?" What you may see is a child acting out even more, testing the parent to set limits and stop the child's behavior.

When children play the game over time, they do not learn to accept the word "no." This is crucial if they are to grow up as respectful, responsible adults.

Now that you know about this no-win game, how can you, as a parent, stop it? Stay calm, no matter what's happening. If you want some ideas on how to do this, you can find some ideas on my blog called, "How to Act Like a Super nanny at Home." The address is http://www.parentsurvival.org. By staying calm, not arguing, walking away; the game loses its strength because the parent is in control. You haven't put any logs on the fire.

If you tell your child to do something, make sure you check to see that it's done according to your desires. If your child starts to argue, simply say, "I love you too much to argue" and walk away. If you answer your child's comments, you will lose the point. The trick here involves being quiet, the less said, the better.

Children may not get what they think they want when their parents no longer play with game with them. However, they get what they need, which are strong successful parents who love them enough to stop playing the game. Only then will everyone win.

MaryLynne White
Can a Game Really Compel Any Child to Behave?
"How to Become a Super Nanny in Your Own Home!
Free Consumer Awareness Guide Shows You How..."
http://www.parentsurvival911.com

limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Creating an email alias can help clean up your inbox by organizing emails based on purpose, like creating different aliases for shopping, newsletters and work.

A multipurpose robotic system promises to transform how items are stacked onto pallets, aiming to maximize space utilization and reduce shipping costs.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The number of people affected by a UnitedHealth data breach in February 2024 was actually higher than previously reported and was the largest medical data breach in U.S. history.

A phishing campaign uses Google Calendar to schedule fake meeting invitations that appear legitimate, redirecting targets to phishing sites.

Toll road text scam: Fake messages claim unpaid fees, seek payment via fraudulent links. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says this scam is becoming increasingly sophisticated and widespread.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says these steps ensure that your friends and family get to the exact moment you want them to see. Try it out and streamline your sharing experience.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers tips on how to protect your identity: Be vigilant, monitor accounts, use smart security, know theft response.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says cybercriminals are exploiting iMessage phishing protection, tricking users to reactivate links.

It's hard to imagine life without in-flight Wi-Fi these days – but sky-high web surfing comes with its own set of privacy concerns. Here's how to protect yourself.

Over 400,000 cases of credit card fraud were reported in 2024 to the Federal Trade Commission. The CyberGuy explains how to protect against becoming another victim.

A nondescript metal box transforms into a fully functional electric motorcycle that blurs the line between vehicle and urban infrastructure.

Many apps unrelated to location still ask users for tracking permission, and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit seeking to end this alleged practice by Allstate.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Melody, the artificial intelligence-powered robot, is life-sized and represents a move toward creating robots that resemble people in appearance and interaction.

Here are five easy smartphone rules from the National Security Agency that you can follow to better protect your mobile device from hackers and scammers.

A U.S. robotics company has developed "Jennie," a robotic pet powered by artificial intelligence that's designed to comfort those facing mental health challenges.

Healthcare records for more than 184 million Americans were breached in 2024, but you can take steps to minimize that risk. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

The Skyrider X1 from Rictor claims to be the "first amphibious flying passenger motorcycle," and it combines land and air travel in one sleek design.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Home inventory and restoration apps help itemize and track every item in your home in the event you have to make an insurance claim after a natural disaster.

The White House launched a new cybersecurity safety label, the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark, intended to help consumers make informed decisions on smart device safety.

Today's tech can help make life so much easier — if you know how to use it. Here are a few tips on the quickest and best ways to make your phone, laptop and other devices work for you.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers Windows 11 restart fixes: Update drivers, run system scans and check hardware.

Sony and Honda's Afeela 1 EV launches with advanced tech and entertainment for $89,900. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives his takeaways.

The Secret, Unconscious Game Children and Parents Play Where No One Wins!

Parenting