"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and wonder, 'How did I ever get here?'"
-- Joy Rose from the band "Housewives on Prozac"
I'm sure any mom on the planet can relate to that quote and the sense of exhaustion and bewilderment that it implies. Let's face it, ladies, after cooking, cleaning, caring, chauffeuring, and "career-ing" we're pretty frazzled - physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. We dream of lives we don't believe we will ever be able to live, long to go away on a luxury vacation we will probably never be able to afford, or struggle to just put life on "pause" long enough to refuel before we have to tackle that next mountain of laundry. Unfortunately, those dreams look pretty hopeless, this side of the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.
The Graceful Art of Defrazzling means learning to live our lives in moments and seasons. Living in moments means that we must learn to take small amounts of time each day to refresh our souls, laugh, breathe deeply, express gratitude, and rejoice over our children and husbands - especially on the bad days! We need to look for natural pauses in our days: waiting at a stop light or in a grocery store line; while we wait for the pot to boil; right after the kids go down for their naps - and other little breaks in our day - to take a brief vacation from drudgery. We need to use these moments to stop and look for small, present things to cherish: the golden curls on our toddler's head; the warm sunshine outside; the sound of children's laughter; the feel of a baby's soft skin; the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of quality tea. We need to use little pauses in our day to take baby steps toward our bigger goals like tucking five dollars away for future dreams, skimming great books for deeper inspiration, or glancing at pictures of our ideal life and dreaming a little. We may not be able to get away for a month long vacation, but if we take little five-minute vacations every day, we will find ourselves more relaxed and available for our families. We may not have time or money to become a world class professional pastry chef right now, but we can get a book out of the library on gourmet desserts and throw a surprise together for tonight's supper. A week on a beach may be an impossible dream, but we can drop the kids off at friend's house and go sit on a park bench in the sunshine for an hour.
We need to look for moments, but we must also live in seasons. Living in seasons means we need to remember that what we are experiencing now is not what we will experience forever. When the kids are really young and we're not getting any sleep, knowing that this is temporary is helpful. We may not have time for anything right now except for survival - but if we're using our moments to prepare for the next season while we learn to get through this one, things will be different. Seasons enable us to cope with today, but also look to the future. They enable us to see past the spilled supper on the floor ,and the terrible two's, to a time when things will be calmer. Living in seasons also enables us to take the time we need to create and cherish special moments with our family. Instead of rushing from feeding the baby to cleaning out the basement, or brushing off our child's request to "come and see!" so that we can get dinner started, we'll realize that this season is but a brief drop in the bucket of time and that it will soon be over. Dinner and cleaning can usually wait while we connect in a special way with our family members. We need to recognize the season we're in, and learn to deal with each season in a way that creates a solid foundation for the next one.
So the next time you're wearily folding laundry, give thanks for the person each item belongs to, say a prayer for them, cherish a special memory you have of them - or plan to create a new one, and remember that "this too, shall pass".
This is the graceful art of De-frazzling - for mothers.
Darlene Hull, www.mom-defrazzler.com
*******************************************************************
Publishing and Re-Print Guidelines
* The article text, resource box, URLs and copyright information must be left intact and unchanged
* When re-published online, all links must be live hyperlinks.
* These articles may not be distributed in any manner that does not comply with federal communication guidelines.
* These articles must not be password protected or limited to membership or paid-only viewing. These articles must remain free.
*******************************************************************
Darlene Hull is a local, ordinary, imperfect mom who sees her mission as helping moms look after themselves so that they can better look after their families. Darlene is married to Tom and has two children ? Simon (12) and Christina (10.5) whom she home schools. You can find out more about her on her website at http://www.mom-defrazzler.com and even download a free "Mom-Defrazzler" while you're there.
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More
Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Uh oh.Your kids arrive home with their school reports and... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
I am in pain. I've been in pain all day.... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
"Becoming a parent can make you a better worker," New... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted... Read More
Parenting |