"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."
My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."
Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important! "These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.
What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better? "The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."
I'm stunned.
They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds. Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.
I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.
How bad are things across America? Pretty bad for many families. Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:
"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."
So parents, please get more involved in the lives of your children. Spend more time with them. Quantity time is as important as quality time. Encourage your teens to work hard to reach their goals. Encourage them to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God." Parents should be their teen's role models, not other teens who have yet to experience much in the way of life or wisdom themselves. Parents, let's step it up a bit. It will make a big difference in the lives of our teens.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
kitchen deep cleaning Deerfield ..Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child... Read More
Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More
How in the world do you get your child to... Read More
We take it for granted that children know how money... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
Child support is defined as that part of your income... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
interior house cleaning Highland Park ..Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More
'I felt great until I walked into the classroom -... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
This is the third and final article in a series... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More
Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
There are millions of young children in this country who... Read More
In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
Does the homework battle so typical with your hyperactive or... Read More
Parenting |