Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky business. Many kids get into some kind of trouble at some point, and, although this can provide them a powerful learning opportunity, taking a "kids will be kids" attitude is downright irresponsible parenting. Good parenting requires us to remember that, even if they look fully grown, they are not. Teenager issues abound, and parents need to be aware of all we can do to keep our teenagers on the straight and narrow. Here are some tips to help you because what you do can make all the difference.
1.) The "basics" count more than anything else. Let your teen know that s/he is loved unconditionally, and s/he won't want to let you down. Not wanting to disappoint parents really is a big deterrent for teenagers.
2.) Let your teenager know what you expect of him. Be specific. Let him know where the boundaries are firm, and where there is room for negotiation. Share your values. Be clear in your communication so there is no room for confusion.
3.) Invest in your relationship. Spend time together having fun. Listen to your teen's thoughts, goals, fears and questions. Show her that you care about what she says, thinks and feels.
4.) Encourage him to develop healthy outside interests. Sports are wonderful, as is participating in music and theatre, clubs?almost any other such activity. Not only does this keep your teenager busy in a productive way, it helps to build his self-esteem. And a healthy sense of self-esteem can keep kids from getting into trouble.
5.) Help your teenager develop responsibilities. A teen with responsibilities will be more mature, more reliable, and have a higher self-esteem than one without responsibility.
6.) Look in the mirror and practice saying "no." You'll know if this applies to you; if you have trouble saying "no," practice. It is a parent's job to say it sometimes; and it may be the most important to do so when it's the hardest, so get prepared.
7.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and [tactfully] verify what s/he's telling you. (see next item) Be plugged in to what's going on in your teen's life. Get your teen used to the fact that you know other parents, and that you will be in touch with them.
8.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen's friends' parents. Probe. Find out if there really is going to be supervision to your satisfaction. Not all parents are as vigilant as others. Offer to help supervise. Offer to send food. Keep it friendly, but be clear.
9.) Be smart about cell phone and internet use. Cell phones can be your friend and help you and your teen stay in touch, but they can also be abused. Teens have been known to be places other than where they say they are, and if the cell phone is the only method of contact, parents can be caught unawares. Have a good sense of what your teen is doing on the internet and consider using some of the blocking methods available.
10. Know the facts about drug and alcohol use and abuse. Your teen needs you to be knowledgeable, otherwise you are unable to help her in this area. Know what is common in your kid's school. Know what the signs are of use and abuse. Do not stick your head in the sand. Be vigilant, informed and smart.
11. Teenagers feel emotions twice as intensely as adults, and this is a developmental fact. Intense emotional responses can impact their behavior, and so parents need to encourage teens to have appropriate outlets for emotional tension. Physical activity is particularly effective.
12. Expect to give up your weekend. Not all the time?but you may not actually have the freedom that you envisioned when they were little. You need to be attentive to keep them safe, and you need to be around and available.
13. Earn your teenager's respect by your good, honorable, ethical and respectable behavior. Your teenager has been learning about adult behavior from you, and she is likely to behave like you. Better give her a great example!
Parents have tremendous influence?don't underestimate the importance of your behavior, because what you do counts ? a lot!
Copyright 2005 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years . She offers resources, information and tips for parents of teenagers and those who work with them. She provides an effective guide for parents and professionals who want to create a parenting discussion group. Visit http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com
limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareAs Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More
For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More
Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
You're trying to catch up on some sleep on a... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More
It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
Lincoln Stretch rentals Willowbrook ..Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
We know that you want your little guy or gal... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Julia Roberts recently gave birth to twins: Hazel and Phinnaeus.... Read More
I don't know how people raise daughters because I have... Read More
As our children grow, they will be going to schools... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
Chiladult? Whatever you call them, teenagers are a changin' and... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
Parenting |