Teenagers are a work-in-progress, and parenting teenagers can be tricky business. Many kids get into some kind of trouble at some point, and, although this can provide them a powerful learning opportunity, taking a "kids will be kids" attitude is downright irresponsible parenting. Good parenting requires us to remember that, even if they look fully grown, they are not. Teenager issues abound, and parents need to be aware of all we can do to keep our teenagers on the straight and narrow. Here are some tips to help you because what you do can make all the difference.
1.) The "basics" count more than anything else. Let your teen know that s/he is loved unconditionally, and s/he won't want to let you down. Not wanting to disappoint parents really is a big deterrent for teenagers.
2.) Let your teenager know what you expect of him. Be specific. Let him know where the boundaries are firm, and where there is room for negotiation. Share your values. Be clear in your communication so there is no room for confusion.
3.) Invest in your relationship. Spend time together having fun. Listen to your teen's thoughts, goals, fears and questions. Show her that you care about what she says, thinks and feels.
4.) Encourage him to develop healthy outside interests. Sports are wonderful, as is participating in music and theatre, clubs?almost any other such activity. Not only does this keep your teenager busy in a productive way, it helps to build his self-esteem. And a healthy sense of self-esteem can keep kids from getting into trouble.
5.) Help your teenager develop responsibilities. A teen with responsibilities will be more mature, more reliable, and have a higher self-esteem than one without responsibility.
6.) Look in the mirror and practice saying "no." You'll know if this applies to you; if you have trouble saying "no," practice. It is a parent's job to say it sometimes; and it may be the most important to do so when it's the hardest, so get prepared.
7.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and [tactfully] verify what s/he's telling you. (see next item) Be plugged in to what's going on in your teen's life. Get your teen used to the fact that you know other parents, and that you will be in touch with them.
8.) Learn how to ask the right [sometimes hard] questions of your teen's friends' parents. Probe. Find out if there really is going to be supervision to your satisfaction. Not all parents are as vigilant as others. Offer to help supervise. Offer to send food. Keep it friendly, but be clear.
9.) Be smart about cell phone and internet use. Cell phones can be your friend and help you and your teen stay in touch, but they can also be abused. Teens have been known to be places other than where they say they are, and if the cell phone is the only method of contact, parents can be caught unawares. Have a good sense of what your teen is doing on the internet and consider using some of the blocking methods available.
10. Know the facts about drug and alcohol use and abuse. Your teen needs you to be knowledgeable, otherwise you are unable to help her in this area. Know what is common in your kid's school. Know what the signs are of use and abuse. Do not stick your head in the sand. Be vigilant, informed and smart.
11. Teenagers feel emotions twice as intensely as adults, and this is a developmental fact. Intense emotional responses can impact their behavior, and so parents need to encourage teens to have appropriate outlets for emotional tension. Physical activity is particularly effective.
12. Expect to give up your weekend. Not all the time?but you may not actually have the freedom that you envisioned when they were little. You need to be attentive to keep them safe, and you need to be around and available.
13. Earn your teenager's respect by your good, honorable, ethical and respectable behavior. Your teenager has been learning about adult behavior from you, and she is likely to behave like you. Better give her a great example!
Parents have tremendous influence?don't underestimate the importance of your behavior, because what you do counts ? a lot!
Copyright 2005 Sue Blaney
Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child's Middle School Years . She offers resources, information and tips for parents of teenagers and those who work with them. She provides an effective guide for parents and professionals who want to create a parenting discussion group. Visit http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com
Airbnb cleaning service Arlington Heights ..In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More
Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More
Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More
It's that time again! Parent-teacher conferences are coming. Are you... Read More
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
How would you like to have a closer relationship with... Read More
As a parent there are lots of things that you... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
reliable maid service Winnetka ..Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering... Read More
Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More
When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is... Read More
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
Travel is a common theme in my life -- probably... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
Parenting |