Teenagers Taking Risks

It can be hard being a parent with a teen going through what I term the 'I'm Invincible' phase. This is the phase when teens start doing scary and dangerous things (according to us parents) as a way of testing out their physical limits.

This is not surprising given that, at adolescence, teenagers are effectively given a 'new' body, one which has many improved features from that of their childhood body. It's no good as parents thinking we can tell them about the limits of this body; just as a toddler needs to work out for themselves how to balance to walk so a teen needs to work out for themselves how to use their changed body.

Pushing themselves that little bit further each time is necessary for the teen to find out what happens. They need to make mistakes so that they can self-adjust. They need to know just how fast, agile and strong their body is so they can use it appropriately in the future. Not knowing their own limits is potentially much more dangerous.

However some teens also use this phase to 'prove' themselves. In today's competitive society, teens have been brought up to want to be 'better' than someone else at something. For some teens this will be in the classroom, others on the sports field or through the performing arts but for some teens none of these avenues are available.

The only way they can prove themselves to be 'better' is through some daredevil type of physical activity, where they can show they are braver, can bear more pain or can think up some more elaborate plan. This is where these teens get their feelings of success, their sense of achievement, their sense of self-worth.

The 'I'm Invincible' phase is a crucial learning phase; it's all about taking risks and making judgements about risk. As parents, it's hard for us to let our teens take risks, we naturally want to protect them, but in attempting to protect them we are in reality often holding them back.

Taking risks is a necessary part of adult life; leaving one job for another, starting a business, asking someone out on a date all require a certain amount of risk. Although the risks in the 'I'm Invincible' phase are primarily based in the physical, they give a good foundation for taking risks in the emotional and cognitive realms in the future.

How to Handle the 'I'm Invincible' Phase

  • If at all possible, enrol your teen in a class or organisation where they can test their limits in a relatively safe environment eg sports, dance, scouts/guides, army/navy/air cadets.

  • For those that need to 'prove' themselves, give them chores that allow them to show off their new found physical strengths; re-think the chores they do to see if there are some more suited to their abilities. Receiving success, achievement and a sense of self-worth at home reduces the need to look for it elsewhere.

  • Use the language associated with 'I'm Invincible' to acknowledge your teen in day-to-day life. Words such as courage, brave, strong, determined, overcome, etc, can also be used to motivate your teen.

  • Examine your own fears; are your fears based on objective, rational information, or have they been exacerbated by other peoples' stories or news reports. Get the facts not the media hype.

  • Explain your fears to your teen by expressing concern over what others might do. If you express doubt in their abilities you will just make them more determined to prove you wrong. Eg "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because drivers are more likely to have accidents then" is much more readily received than "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because you might have an accident".

  • Do not use evidence of their mistakes to do 'I told you so'. Recognise mistakes as valuable learning, and then acknowledge the learning as you would any other type of learning.

    Carol Shepley has been involved with teenagers for over 10 years and, as the parent of a teen herself, fully understands the pressures placed on parents and teens today. She now shares this knowledge and experience through her website http://www.growingupmatters.com so that parents can help their teens become resilient, resourceful and responsible adults.

    Wood Dale Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare
    In The News:

    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
    Internet browsers are useful, but they can be dangerous. Clicking on malicious links can direct you to dangerous websites that steal information or infect your device.
    Apple's latest iOS update introduces advanced artificial intelligence capabilities, which may be capturing and analyzing sensitive information.
    Breach site confirmed 56,904,909 Hot Topic users' data leaked online. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the company's silence makes matters even worse.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how an innovative Easy-Way kit turns standard strollers electric, simplifying navigation for parents.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about T-Mobile being hacked in broad cyberattack on global phone and internet companies.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how to add, customize and manage widgets for quick access to apps and info from your iPhone home screen.
    Wrong Google searches can not only compromise your device and personal data. They can also bring law enforcement to your doorstep. Hackers are targeting Google searches.
    China's Shanghai Kepler Robotics has developed a new humanoid robot that can carry up to 35 pounds per hand for commercial applications across various industries
    Checking your hearing has gotten easier with the new hearing test feature in AirPods Pro 2. You can take reliable hearing tests using your iPhone or iPad.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how a VPN — virtual private network — works and how running it can slow down the operation of your device.
    The WalkON Suit F1, an exoskeleton developed to help people with disabilities, can actually walk over to a person in a wheelchair, solving a major problem.
    ClickFix, a new scam targeting computer users, is on the rise in the U.S. The scam prompts its targets to click on a link to fix a problem.
    Skydweller is the world's largest unmanned solar-powered aircraft that can stay airborne for weeks, and even months, without refueling.
    The U.S. government said it is investigating after People's Republic of China hackers targeted commercial telecommunications service providers in the U.S.
    Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
    Scammers are using increasingly sophisticated ways to lure unsuspecting victims, and some are impersonating an email help desk or support team.
    You can unsend or edit your iMessages with the latest iOS updates. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how you can save yourself some potential embarrassment.
    Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says there’s been a rise in cybercriminal services using hacked police and government emails to send subpoenas and data requests to U.S. companies.
    Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Axiom Space and luxury designer Prada are collaborating on NASA's Artemis III spacesuit design.
    Voice assistants may cause confusion across devices. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers some solutions to fix it.
    Shameless scammers trick veterans into giving personal info or cash. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explores five common scams.
    Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson helps you honor our heroes with these powerful podcasts, audiobooks and documentaries this Veterans Day.
  • Mothers Day Tribute

    As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More

    Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?

    A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More

    The Hardest Job I Ever Had

    I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More

    The Value of Play

    Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for... Read More

    Celebrating Life with Children in September

    Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More

    Busy, Working Parents --- 22 Ways To Homeschool Your Kids

    If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More

    Really Good News About Your Children?s Video Games

    Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More

    Partnering With Your Daycare or Preschool

    For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More

    Guide to Choosing LEGO Toys for Children

    If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More

    Winning The Whining War

    Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More

    Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

    In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More

    Parental Involvement in Learning

    Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when... Read More

    7 Things To Teach Your Kids About Money

    Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After... Read More

    Do You Have the Loving Relationship With Your Children That You Desire?

    Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More

    Hold a Childs Birthday Party for Charity

    As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More

    6 Great Freebie Resources for Parents of Twins & Multiple Births

    A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

    Imaginations Soar

    Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

    What You Can Learn About Life From Your Children

    You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More

    The Challenges of Single Parenting

    Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More

    Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger

    Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More

    Labeling is Disabling: Achieving Congruent Communication

    A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by... Read More

    Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

    Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

    The 411 on Natural Colic Remedies

    Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More

    Potty Training ?To Train or Not to Train?

    I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More

    Loving Your Step-Children

    Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More

    Antigo wedding limo ..