The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the police officer spoke these words:
"Don't go there. Have you any idea how many kids have been stabbed in the past year? They'll kill you as soon as look at you. They have no respect for life."
The mother breathed a sigh of relief. She had come in to school to seek my help, as I was her daughter's Guidance Counsellor. We needed to convince the girl that the places she was frequenting were putting her very life in danger.
Fortunately a police officer was in school that day to speak to a Social Education class - and I got him to sit in on the interview.
So where was the young girl going that put her life in such peril? What underground haunts were enticing her?
None other than an area of the city where two school friends lived. But as you may guess, it was an area rife with drug abuse and its attendant crimes. Many people there had lost respect both for themselves and for life in general.
So how do we teach respect and values in a society that's rapidly becoming valueless?
Believe it or not, it's relatively easy!
All we have to do is go back to basics. Remember what Grandma used to say? - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
This might sound a bit 'corny' or 'naff' in today's world, but if ever a saying deserved to be revitalised and repeated again and again, this is it!
Today our kids need to learn RESPECT for themselves; for other people; for other people's rights, customs and valid beliefs; for property; for materials; and for the earth itself.
The more people who do this, the more we will have a counter-balance to the uncaring and disrespectful trends we see all around.
Yes, that's all very well, but HOW do we do it?
In two ways - and as I said, it's easy!
First and foremost MODEL the values and respect you wish your children to develop.
That's it. SHOW them by your own lifestyle. You don't even need to articulate these values - but as we'll see later, discussing them and commenting on them can make an even bigger impact.
Many successful parents are neither educated nor articulate, and they say very little. They let their actions speak louder than words.
There's nothing new in this. To use an old-fashioned phrase, these parents give a good example. (Some of today's psychologists think they've come up with a new approach when they talk about 'modelling appropriate behaviour patterns'. Yes . . !)
To be fair, many parents I talk to are unaware of the potential they have to influence their kids. It comes as a surprise to many to learn that THEY are the most influential teachers their kids will ever have.
Our children are like sponges. They soak up our attitudes, our habits, our speech patterns - our way of seeing the world.
So if YOU show respect for yourself, for others, for property and for the earth, you won't go wrong.
But you can enhance or reinforce this process by instructing your kids.
Without lecturing or 'sermonising' we can give guidelines for everyday activities. For example:
* leave the bathroom as you'd like to find it
* use resources like water carefully
* consider others by playing music softly or by using headphones
* give a helping hand in the classroom, in the playground, at home
* treat others with kindness, gentleness, care and sympathy
* look after yourself in the same way.
When bad or undesirable behaviour is modelled on TV or elsewhere, comment on it and discuss why we wouldn't do that.
In a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic society, let's help our kids to tolerate, appreciate and even celebrate differences. Help them realise we all have different customs and habits, and there are pros as well as cons in these differences.
Help your child to be assertive. There's no need to be aggressive or offensive when defending our values. We should assert them proudly and courageously, and we should avoid a passive denial when others are mocking.
Lastly there's self-control. If you give a good example - sorry, if you 'model appropriate behaviour'! - AND teach your kids why it is important, then you and your family can face the future with confidence.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html
limo prices to midway Crystal Lake west of Randal .. Lockport Chicago limo O’HareMany years ago, my children were raised on the various... Read More
Ok. So you're a dad to be. If you're like... Read More
No matter what you say or do, your kids will... Read More
Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More
Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices.... Read More
Do you have a consistent problem with your child lying... Read More
Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
Q. Things have been relatively calm and OK with our... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both... Read More
Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
"I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
taxi o'hare Auburn ..As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More
Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
It's the third time this week that Sam has complained... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More
1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a... Read More
Parenting |