Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal.
When my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from the room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children's noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they be expected to be.
As our children grew older, they were always told the rules of our outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior's vocal or behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It's rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don't give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home, not in public.
Last night, my girls and I were in a department store. There was a toddler carrying on and screaming for more than 15 minutes when my younger daughter said:
"Now his mommy is going to tell him to stop because there are other people in here that don't want to hear it!"
Unfortunately, his mommy did not tell him any such thing. She let him wail and scream and cry, much to the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the store. You know what? As much as I love kids and cannot bear to see or hear them suffering, I disliked this kid immensely!
My reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free to trample on the peace, space or rose gardens of others, they will develop into spoiled and inconsiderate brats. And then who will like them? Who will want to spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving parents, will be able to tolerate their lack of social graces and good manners? No one ? except maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home with a similarly clueless individual. Do we really want our children reduced to such horrible options? I think not.
We teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their brother in the nose. Shouldn't we teach them respect for others at the same time? That their whining and out-of-control behavior is something no one really wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who have no vested interest in their developing minds or self-esteem? A simple reminder of the rules, consistently, works wonders ... eventually. ;-)
Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them well.
Copyright ? 2000-2004- Rexanne Mancini
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
Here is something that you might want to keep if... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More
What is child sexual abuse? Any sexual activity that is... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old... Read More
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More
Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine,... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
Words are truly powerful things. They are something that becomes... Read More
Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More
The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
Should a parent give a child a tangible reward when... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
Many families do not want to believe their child is... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Parenting |