Home
>
Parenting
>
Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children's disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. The approach to conflict resolution learned and practised in childhood often stays for life.

Conflict is part of daily living. Effective people resolve conflict in ways that protect relationships, honour feelings and lead to a resolution. They neither avoid conflict nor do they use power to dominate others or win conflict.

It is useful for parents to provide a process for children to resolve individual differences peacefully and effectively. When two children have a disagreement that is upsetting to one or either then they may need adult assistance to resolve the conflict. One process that is both easy to learn and highly effective is the Face-Up conflict resolution process that is a variation on some common processes in use.

In the Face-up process children face each other and maintain eye contact. This helps for greater openness and understanding. It generally requires an adult to be present as a third party so parents may need to stick around to make sure it works effectively.

The steps involved in the Face-up process:

1. Safety first: To ensure safety and integrity it is important that both children are calm. Give them time and some help to regain control if they are angry or upset.

2. Feelings second: Using I-messages children tell each other how they feel about the situation. "I feel awful when you don't share your toys. I really feel like losing it because it is not fair." Focus on the feelings and don't let it get into recriminations or accusations.

3. Repeat third: Sometimes this process is enough to get a resolution or at least an apology. Repeat this procedure if necessary so both children feel they have been heard.

4. Resolve fourth: State the problem as you see it or as children identify it. Sometimes children just want to state their case and they will make their own suggestion about resolving it. "You can play with my old toys but I don't want you playing with my new toys for a while. They're special." "Okay."

5. Make-up fifth: An apology or an agreement is often enough however sometimes damage may need to be repaired or a follow-up talk from a parent about better behaviour may be appropriate.

Teaching children some simple rules for resolving conflict and a process such as the one above may well be one of the best investments in time and energy that a parent will make.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au. While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.

affordable house cleaning Park Ridge ..

In The News:

Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.

Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.

The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.

Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.

LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.

Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.

Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.

Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.

MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power

Parenting