Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than pessimists.
Helping your child look on the bright side is a significant life skill to develop. When children think that can succeed they are more likely to give things a try. In other word, if they think THEY CAN, THEY WILL.
Optimists look at the flip side of negative events for some good, some hope and some reason to be positive. It means having a strong self-belief and confidence to deal with situations.
Experts in the area of optimism agree that there are five building blocks of optimism:
1. Having a go and persisting
2. Practising skills
3. Coming to terms with success and failure
4. Planning for the future
5. Having the belief and confidence to try again
Importantly, these building blocks link optimism with competence so when children experience success they are more likely to believe that they can achieve and have more success.
Some children are natural optimists. They are born with optimistic temperaments and have natural dispositions to deal with challenges and problems. Others expect the worst and tend to see catastrophes where really small challenges exist.
Recent American research indicates that children learn their optimism from their experiences of success and through their interactions with parents, teachers and significant others in the first eight years of life.
So the way adults talk is significant in the way they shape a child's belief about success or failure. The message is clear that adults need to be aware how they present the world to children as our explanatory style (the way we explain events) is on show.
Optimists explain adverse events in the following ways:
1. Adverse events tend to be temporary: "It takes time to find a friend" rather than "No one likes me."
2. Situations or causes are specific: "I am not so good at soccer" rather than "I am hopeless at sport."
3. Blame is rationalised rather than personalised: "I was grounded because I hurt my sister" rather than "I was grounded because I am a bad kid."
Pessimists have a tendency to build mountains out of molehills and give up before trying. The trouble with pessimism is that it tends to be self-fulfilling prophecy. "I told you I wouldn't get a kick in the game. What was the point of me even turning up?" Such comments just reinforce pessimism and these feelings of hopelessness lead to helplessness.
To promote optimism in your children try the following four strategies:
1. Model positive thinking and optimism. Let your children hear your positive self-talk.
2. Challenge your children's negative or unrealistic appraisals. For instance, "Everyone hates me. I have no friends" can be challenged with "Sometimes it feels like we have no friends but you spent all morning with Melanie yesterday."
3. Teach your child to positively track. Children should look for the good things they do and say them to themselves or out loud. They can look for the good things that happen in life, no matter how small and say them to themselves or out loud.
4. Teach children to positively reframe. When something unpleasant happens or failure occurs they can actively look on the bright side. E.g. "I pranged my bike but at least I came out unhurt" or "That activity didn't work but I know what to do next time."
The beauty about developing optimism is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it such a powerful success strategy.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au. . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
monthly home cleaning Buffalo Grove .."Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
We are all familiar with the stories that most students... Read More
Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number... Read More
Being a parent is a role that requires a large... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
Dads, please let me encourage you to change some things... Read More
Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More
It is so important to create an environment that promotes... Read More
Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander... Read More
I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More
All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
How on earth can you help your family cope with... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More
The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are... Read More
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More
scheduled maid service Mundelein ..Bearers of life, wipers of noses, givers of unconditional love... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
If you spend any time in the parenting section of... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
It is hard to believe that summer is coming to... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a... Read More
Coping with a child's bad behavior, perhaps more than any... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
Successful families don't just happen. They take time, talent and... Read More
Speaking as a Michael (a Hebrew name, meaning "Who is... Read More
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
Parenting |