Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than pessimists.
Helping your child look on the bright side is a significant life skill to develop. When children think that can succeed they are more likely to give things a try. In other word, if they think THEY CAN, THEY WILL.
Optimists look at the flip side of negative events for some good, some hope and some reason to be positive. It means having a strong self-belief and confidence to deal with situations.
Experts in the area of optimism agree that there are five building blocks of optimism:
1. Having a go and persisting
2. Practising skills
3. Coming to terms with success and failure
4. Planning for the future
5. Having the belief and confidence to try again
Importantly, these building blocks link optimism with competence so when children experience success they are more likely to believe that they can achieve and have more success.
Some children are natural optimists. They are born with optimistic temperaments and have natural dispositions to deal with challenges and problems. Others expect the worst and tend to see catastrophes where really small challenges exist.
Recent American research indicates that children learn their optimism from their experiences of success and through their interactions with parents, teachers and significant others in the first eight years of life.
So the way adults talk is significant in the way they shape a child's belief about success or failure. The message is clear that adults need to be aware how they present the world to children as our explanatory style (the way we explain events) is on show.
Optimists explain adverse events in the following ways:
1. Adverse events tend to be temporary: "It takes time to find a friend" rather than "No one likes me."
2. Situations or causes are specific: "I am not so good at soccer" rather than "I am hopeless at sport."
3. Blame is rationalised rather than personalised: "I was grounded because I hurt my sister" rather than "I was grounded because I am a bad kid."
Pessimists have a tendency to build mountains out of molehills and give up before trying. The trouble with pessimism is that it tends to be self-fulfilling prophecy. "I told you I wouldn't get a kick in the game. What was the point of me even turning up?" Such comments just reinforce pessimism and these feelings of hopelessness lead to helplessness.
To promote optimism in your children try the following four strategies:
1. Model positive thinking and optimism. Let your children hear your positive self-talk.
2. Challenge your children's negative or unrealistic appraisals. For instance, "Everyone hates me. I have no friends" can be challenged with "Sometimes it feels like we have no friends but you spent all morning with Melanie yesterday."
3. Teach your child to positively track. Children should look for the good things they do and say them to themselves or out loud. They can look for the good things that happen in life, no matter how small and say them to themselves or out loud.
4. Teach children to positively reframe. When something unpleasant happens or failure occurs they can actively look on the bright side. E.g. "I pranged my bike but at least I came out unhurt" or "That activity didn't work but I know what to do next time."
The beauty about developing optimism is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it such a powerful success strategy.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.
For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au. . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carThere's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
Children are moral and make moral determinations... at least until... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
You can learn a lot from children.The best part of... Read More
Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
I have always been aware of my number one weakness:... Read More
"Just turn the lights off and go to sleep"Do you... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo .."Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
Unfortunately each year many young children drown in swimming pools,... Read More
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
As parents, we want our children and teens to grow... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it... Read More
A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped... Read More
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Mealtimes together deserve an important place in any family. Around... Read More
Parenting |