As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does your child control you? Does your child act up in public? Does your child ignore you, whine, argue, show disrespect, have "moods" or "attitudes", throw tantrums, and drive you crazy? If this sounds familiar, you aren't alone. Parents across the country face the same problems. And, teachers tell us over and over that kids are often disrespectful. Education can take a back seat because so much time and energy is spent on discipline. Are your children often out of control?
Parents today have a big responsibility. They want to raise responsible, happy children, but how?
Everyone will agree that a working mom has a full load. She gets tired. She gets frustrated. She may feel guilty because she cannot be a full-time mom. What can she do? Relax, help is on the way in the form of a new, easy to use parenting system that teaches parents how to hold their children accountable by using responsive versus reactive parenting techniques.
The first rule is simple: Mom Has Fun. What a concept -- you can be a great mom and have fun doing it!
Parents often fail to realize that child rearing can and should be fun. Actually, it's your duty to have fun. Otherwise, how can you be a good parent? If you aren't having fun, the kids probably aren't either. And worse yet, if you aren't careful, you as a parent can become a "victim" of your child's controlling or whining behavior. When this happens, your child can get out of control and grow up trying to control others. Your child will be unhappy, disrespectful, and will not be a responsible adult. You must change this situation, and you must do it quickly.
Many parents think it's their job to make sure their kids have fun. Not so! The new parenting model shifts this focus completely. The kids actually look out for mom (or whoever is "in-charge" at the moment) -- making sure that mom has fun. Your kids really do want you to be happy and they have fun doing it. A frustrated, trying-to-keep-order mom will never have fun, and out-of-control and frustrated children are never satisfied, and certainly are far from happy. This simple shift of focus changes that. Children have fun. Parents have fun.
To make this dramatic shift, parents need to establish and maintain boundaries. Check out your space (your home) and decide what rules you want to implement. Be realistic. Don't be selfish, but be honest with your assessment. You are important, too. When kids know the boundaries, they respect them. Your child's self-esteem builds and a sense of well being thrives. You're on the way! And don't forget that boundaries provide security. Don't you function better in a safe, secure environment? Well, your kids do too.
Watch out though. With boundaries, come tests. Sure, kids love boundaries. They carry them around like a warm blanket, yet because they are kids, they will do what kid's do best -- test them.
Get ready. Be strong. Above all, stick to your word. You are being tested. Do not fail this test. It will be the lifeblood of your survival. And you must survive this one. Just remember that after a few tests, your kids will back off. This is the win-win result you are aiming for. You are then in control, without a battle of the minds with your youngsters.
You will also notice that some rules may need adjusting or new ones added. Don't worry. You can just "call a family meeting and discuss the situation." Then move forward with the new plan.
This is just one of the simple Responsive Parenting steps that can quickly change your parental role from a weary mom to a happy mom with happier, more responsible kids.
(C) Copyright 2005, Nue Nue Education
You are welcome to post/distribute/publish this article provided that the article is published in it's entirety with no changes and full contact information is provided.
Nicole Mackenzie's simple, yet proven Responsive Parenting Method shows parents how to ease worries and raise more responsible and happier kids - all while having fun! Nicole is an author and mother of 6 children. She has been a facilitator, speaker, coach and trainer for 16 years. For a free parenting eClass, email: eclass9step@morefunlessworkparenting.com
Also visit: eclass9step@morefunlessworkparenting.com
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