Dear Camille,
As I thumb through the photographs that I carry with me always in my briefcase, it's hard to fathom that the short haired, smiling baby holding a crawfish and wiggling its claws has turned into the beautiful goldilocks girl that demands the stage and wants so much to sing.
I feel like such a clich?-all those veteran parents telling us how quickly you would grow up, how it would be over before we know it, how we had best pay attention before it all ended.
They were right.
I can't believe you turned three.
I can't believe the seasons change so fast, the questions change so fast, though the answers seem so much alike.
I sit on airplanes and think of you often, what kind of stewardship do we offer, who truly teaches who, the empty feeling that hovers around me like a morning mist when we spend too much time apart.
I ponder the choices, the justifications, the selfishness that allows laziness to creep in, the myriad moments of ire that warrant only tenderness, the loss of control over small matters of tedium, the fragile balance between patience, guidance and the human condition that reveals its shadowy self in petty outbursts, orders and even shouting matches-the release valve that leaves ashes of hurt with little resolve.
What is my job?
Outside of protection from physical harm, I bob on this sea of life like a tiny cork in a hurricane, reaching within, seeking, trying to embrace and express, wondering how I might ever qualify to tell you or anyone how to live.
In the end, the old adage that the more we know the more we realize we don't know takes hold, anchors me to a journey of discovery and serves as a reminder that my conundrum evaporates if I focus on love, my role to baste you in it, wrap you up in a love cloud and cover you with a love blanket, that you may grow in love and let the other lessons flow to you and through you at your own pace.
This I can do, shrug off the coat of inadequacy and give you another hug, another kiss, another kind word, another minute when minutes run short, another chance, another smile, another deep breath to choke down the critic or the tyrant or the fictional pundit that so quickly jumps to judgment and wants to intervene.
No, father doesn't know best.
Father struggles to understand.
Father wrestles with his most important job.
Father tries so hard to heed his own counsel, to listen-both to the words and the unspoken, the undercurrents, the needs, the emotions that rage, then play, then rage, then rest, then come back to rage again.
Father cares-though the jumbled blend of empowerment, co-dependency, heart, guilt, duty, honor, passion and profound, profound affection sometimes do more to confuse than enlighten.
I guess we all tread the path, rain or shine, winter and summer, paved flat and mountainous, rocky trails.
Father loves.
Father loves you, with all my might, a job I relish.
As long as the ticker ticks, it will always tick for you.
Dada
That's A View From The Ridge?
Ridgely invites you to subscribe to A View From The Ridge, an inspirational column that goes out around the world each week. Please visit http://www.aviewfromtheridge.com to subscribe and email Ridgely personally at http://www.aviewfromtheridge.com.
last minute cleaning help Arlington Heights .."It takes a village to raise a child" is more... Read More
Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood.... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for... Read More
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Sitting by her Pinocchio lamp, she smiled at me as... Read More
In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
same day cleaning service Wilmette ..Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
Whenever parents discuss how to deal with bed wetting, the... Read More
When your child shows signs of potty training readiness, it's... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More
Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More
When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
I know as a single parent or even with 2... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night... Read More
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More
Parenting |