(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)
You have to be very careful of scolding. Scolding, as a last resort, may be necessary but you must be very careful. Scolding someone is like giving them a cut, giving them a small cut with your words on the hand. Maybe it will serve its purpose, and the cut will heal and everything will be okay. You needed to get their attention. But you must not do it everyday, all the time.
Some children end up with psychological scars because they have been cut (scolded) everyday. Scold, scold everyday and they wind up psychologically disadvantaged because of that kind of treatment. Because somebody has the words, but words that are cruel; and they use them too often, all the time rather than saving them up as a tool of last resort. They just cut and scold all the time, and kids sometimes have a hard time working out of this because of that kind of environment.
"Too severe, it's too severe", we say. In some countries if you steal, they cut off your hand. In our country we'd say, "That's a bit too severe isn't it?" But guess what they say, "It is very effective."
Ask someone who has stolen, "Did you ever steal anything else?" And most assuredly they will answer, "Are you kidding with just one hand - No!" So it is effective, but we say too severe.
So parents, let me talk to you about cruel and unusual scolding. You must be gifted in thinking of ways to effectively communicate with your children. Now sometime severity is needed as a last, last resort. John Kennedy's father, "Old Joe", said this to John, and you will see when I give it to you that it will serve you in so many ways. Now here is what "Old Joe" said: "If it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not the change." I am sure you got that message now.
If it is not absolutely necessary to scold, then it is necessary not to scold. If it is not necessary to use sarcasm, then it is necessary in your communication not to use sarcasm. If it is not necessary to get angry, then it is necessary not to get angry; you get the idea.
If a parent screams all day at her children, the kids finally get used to it. They learn to say, "Momma, she just screams all day." Kids come over to visit and the kids say, "Don't mind Momma, she's just a screamer, she just screams all day." So the kids are just used to it. But now here is the big problem... when the 3-year old child heads for the street and a truck is coming and Momma screams; and nobody pays any attention.
See Momma should save up her screams, so the day it becomes a necessary tool of last resort, and she does scream, the world stops! See that's the key. These are called, "Tools of Last Resort", use them well!
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine. Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine, go to http://jim-rohn.inspiresyou.com
executive chauffeured services Bradford .. Madison to Airport carFor any of you Moms out there that are doing... Read More
Child Party Planning Guideline #1)Pick the ThemeYour child is going... Read More
Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness... Read More
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and... Read More
Many parents struggle with solutions to put their child on... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More
When a parent is deployed with the military it can... Read More
The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More
Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
It is hard to believe that summer is coming to... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
Sometimes dreams really can come true! May 8th - 11th,... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
Those of you that have children know what an excursion... Read More
If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
O'Hare Chicago prom limo ..The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment,... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Like anything else in life, there's a method to the... Read More
Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More
Plus size children and overweight children need patterns and clothing... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
I have always found the notion of toilet training a... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
Dear Camille,As I thumb through the photographs that I carry... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
As I sit here and reflect on the past two... Read More
Ah, potty training! Go to a local bookseller and you... Read More
It has been a long day. Home from work, you... Read More
Sometimes a change of perspective can make a huge difference... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
Parenting |