We were all teens at one time for some many years ago even if we don't like to admit it. Many of us can look back and say our teen years were good, but with many ups and downs as we approached adulthood. Some of us maybe were lucky enough to have parents we could talk to about anything with ease. Today's teens deal with many of the same issues, but also deal with some very difficult issues that are more prevalent in today's youth.
Your teen will need guidance and most likely seek advice. As parents we need to help insure that our teens will come to us with most of these issues. We need to create an atmosphere that will encourage our teens to turn to us. It can be quite a task to get your teen to open up and I found with my teenage boys they were a little reluctant to discuss personal issues. It's quite normal for your teen to seem more distant as they work their way to adulthood. Many times they will seek advice from their peers, but don't worry, this is normal for kids this age.
Peers play a big part in the teenage years and strong healthy relationships with their peers is important to them. More importantly though, I believe they need to be able to relate and confide in their parents as much as possible. It's likely this will not happen without some encouragement from the parents. Making ourselves available, showing we understand, and that they can talk openly with us without judgment plays a key factor in getting them to open up and feel comfortable doing so.
Some issues today's teens face may be difficult or uncomfortable to discuss, but looking the other way will not help. If they can't come to you they will seek advice or help elsewhere. Personally, I would much rather have my teen come to me regardless of the topic, rather than turn to another source who does not love and care for them the way I do. We as parents don't want our teens turning to someone who may not have their best interests in mind.
The guidance and advice they receive during these wonderful, but yet difficult years can impact the choices they make in the future, therefore, the present time is crucial. While some decisions they may have to make will seem insignificant, some could affect the rest of their lives. Whether the importance is big or small they need to know they can turn to their parents for everything.
I have found with my teens, by offering stories or comparisons to when I was their age, is an effective way to get the conversation started. In a relaxed one on one situation, casually bringing things up opened the door to allow my boys to talk about a similar situation they may have experienced. Sometimes, they tend to refer to a friend that was going through something similar, which very well could be the case, but at the same time, I take it as a hint. If a close peer is going through it, most likely, they are too or will be.
By letting teens know through comparison, that when you were a teen, you too had similar issues and was once their age, will encourage them to open up. Will everything they want to talk about be a major dilemma? The answer is No. Will they suddenly spill their guts and divulge everything to you from this point on? Not likely because it takes time to establish that kind of trust. Yes, they have been your kids for many years and they trust you, but this is Trust taken to a whole new level.
The idea is to keep the lines of communication open, show them you care, that you understand and you are there for them. Build a strong level of trust with your teen and hopefully when the big issues come up, you may be the first to know.
This article is written by Tammy Pinarbasi, Owner of the Parent Super Site, http://www.parentsupersite.com. You may reprint this article or use it on your website, however, please be sure to link back to this site. Thank You...
professional maid services Deerfield ..My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More
Criticism is punitiveOur children judge themselves on the opinions we... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
You do what you can to keep your little ones... Read More
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier,... Read More
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More
Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Do any other reality TV junkies remember a show on... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
Spending quality time with your children doesn't need to cost... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More
"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More
quick home cleaning Lake Forest ..Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
Q. We just got our daughter's progress report, and it... Read More
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
At first I thought of titling this article "The Lazy... Read More
Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More
As a mom of 4 who's youngest child is about... Read More
Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More
Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the... Read More
Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom... Read More
Your Virgo Baby..August 23 - September 22Virgo children are honest... Read More
Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with... Read More
I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Parenting |