Home
>
Parenting
>
Raising A High Maintenance Child

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Do you have a high maintenance child?

"Thank goodness my second child wasn't born first. I would have stopped at one child if he was my first," said a mother at a recent parenting seminar.

Many parents can relate to this sentiment. Nature has a way of evening out the score for parents. If you have an easy first born then hang on to your hat because chances are the second or third or fourth born will bring you back to reality.

Most families have one child who takes up more of a parent's time, energy and mindspace than others. These high maintenance children have all sorts of misbehaviours to keep their parents busy or in their service. They may whinge or whine to get their own way. They may interrupt you just when you have started a conversation or settled down for a chat on the telephone. They may even embarrass you in front of your friends or begin to pull the cat's tail just as you settle to breastfeed a younger sibling. They can be tearful, self-indulgent, argumentative, bossy and just plain stubborn.

And what's worse, they are often only high maintenance kids for their parents. Take them to creche', pre school or school and the demands for attention reduce dramatically. "How was she today?" you ask as you pick up your child at the end of the day. You feel crest-fallen when the adult in charge replies, "Not a problem. She was great!" But worse, you know when you get home the demands on your time and attention will begin and they won't cease until she (or you) falls asleep.

High maintenance kids are demanding, exasperating and exhausting. They also take use up your time and energy that you would like to devote to your other children. You would love to spend more time with Perfect Pete but Turbo Terry, Argumentative Aaron or Whining Willemina just keep doing those things that they do so well.

So what's the solution? What is the cure? That's a hard one. There is no magic pill for parents. Yes, some children who are diagnosed with ADHD are given a pill regularly in the form of ritolin. These little pills have become very popular over the last decade as the number of children diagnosed with ADHD has increased dramatically. Only recently have we as a community begun to question the wisdom of keeping up a supply of this drug to children. None of my children have had ADHD so I would not dare to point a finger at any parent who must live with a child with full-blown, A grade ADHD. I take my hat off to your dedication and persistence as you must develop this if you are to live with such a child.

But most high maintenance child don't fall into this category. Many just need to be weaned off their parent's attention. We become so adept at responding to these kids' misbehaviours that attending to them becomes habitual. So try breaking the habit of giving attention when they misbehave. Now that's hard. When they want your attention do something completely different. But be ready for their attention-seeking stuff to escalate. It always does. Ignore the whining and it will increase in volume. Ignore a child's constant interruptions while you are on the telephone and be prepared for an ear-splitting shriek to contend with or even a mess to clean up. It is parents who generally experience the consequences of a high maintenance's child's behaviour. That is the way of high maintenance children.

But you have to change your own way of reacting so your child doesn't get his jollies from keeping you busy with him or her. Most parents never do this because the reactionary habit is ingrained and the behaviour will escalate so we give up in the face of increased misbehaviour. Misbehaviour will generally get worse before it gets better. It is the norm when dealing with high maintenance children. That's why they are such hard work to raise. Alternatively, you can keep giving them heaps of B-grade attention when they are less than perfect and my hunch they will still grow up to be well-adjusted adults. It is just you as a parent who has a hard time of it in the meantime.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

The Reachy 2 robot is designed to be friendly and approachable, inviting natural interaction and is perfect for research, education and experimenting with embodied AI.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares several easy ways to keep your credit cards safe from digital thieves while you're traveling this summer.

Arcturus sets up cameras around the edges of baseball stadiums to capture real-time action and generate a 3D digital clone of the game.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The CyberGuy explains why healthcare organizations are vulnerable to hackers after there have been a half dozen data breaches this year.

Developed at two California universities, the innovative technology combines brain-computer interfaces with advanced AI to decode neural activity into audible speech.

Microsoft patches 12 critical flaws, but six have already been exploited by criminals. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says updating your system is only a short-term fix.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how robots can milk, feed and clean cows on dairy farms, boosting efficiency and comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says quantum internet ensures unhackable security and redefines online privacy and speed.

Kawasaki's CORLEO is a hydrogen-powered, AI-driven rideable robot. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports on this new way of thinking about off-road transportation.

The CyberGuy breaks down five mobile privacy terms that could make a difference when it comes to keeping your personal information safe.

A groundbreaking robot that's like a real-life Wall-E uses advanced artificial intelligence to replicate natural gestures and deliberate actions with striking accuracy.

If not properly managed, Windows Defender Application Control, a security feature with Windows, could be a potential security vulnerability.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

FlashBot Arm, a semi-humanoid robot, acts more like a human than traditional robots, and you may see it working at a restaurant, healthcare center or hotel.

There are multiple ways to find your missing Android phone after it goes missing. One method involves using a smartwatch to ping your phone.

The NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System is a new device with FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.

The CyberGuy provides tips to protect yourself from criminals who use various methods to make unauthorized transactions using your account information.

New drone technology maps land and water with stunning accuracy, giving researchers and conservationists a new way to understand our planet.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

X hit with massive data breach with 200 million records leaked, including emails. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers seven tips to help protect yourself.

Atlas robot by Boston Dynamics amazes tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson with its breakdancing moves.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Google kept Android SafetyCore details quiet until it scanned users' photos.

Hydrogen trucks debut in Georgia, sparking debates on costs and green freight gains. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson comments on this promising chapter in green logistics evolution.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says ChatGPT learns from chats, but you should avoid sharing sensitive information to protect your privacy.

Raising A High Maintenance Child

Parenting