Home
>
Parenting
>
Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem

Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem

Here is a list of ways to convey the message "You are worthwhile" to your children. This list could fill a hundred newsletters, since the ways to raise responsible, happy children are limited only by our imaginations. Here are some places to begin.

1. Tell her on a regular basis that you love her. Actually say the words. If you think, "I don't have to tell her. She knows," you are wrong. It doesn't count if you think it but don't say it out loud.

2. Tell him that you are glad he is your child. Say the words and mean them. If you don't feel it, there is something wrong and you should find out what's going on. We all have moments when we have a hard time getting in touch with our positive feelings for our children. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about in general, most of the time, if you're not feeling good about being your child's parent, something is wrong. He will never feel good about himself if he senses that you are not connected to him.

3. Give her an example to follow. Take the time to teach her the steps. Kids need models. It's unfair to expect that she will know what to do in her daily life if you haven't shown her how to do it.

4. Spend time with him. If you are absent most of the time, he notices, and he probably thinks it's because he isn't important enough.

5. Look at her when you speak to her. This conveys, "This is important and you are important."

6. Look at him when he speaks to you. This conveys, "What you are saying is important. You are important."

7. Explain why. It takes more time, but it conveys that she is important enough to spend the time helping her understand. When you explain why, you are also saying, "I understand that you need to know why. I am going to help you meet your needs."

8. When he tells you about something that happened, ask him how he feels about it. Take the time to listen to his answer.

9. When you ask a question, encourage her to elaborate. Say, "Tell me more about that," or ask, "What was that like?"

10. When you ask a question, don't interrupt when she is answering.

11. When you ask a question, watch your responses. Don't disagree or criticize his answer. This teaches him that it isn't safe to be candid and will make him edit what he tells you.

12. Take her seriously.

13. Participate in the driving. The kids whose parents never help with the driving feel bad about themselves.

14. Say no when you need to say no. Kids need to know there are limits and that some things are outside of those limits.

15. When you say no, explain why.

16. When you say yes, explain why.

17. Set a positive example with your own behavior. You can only expect her to behave with dignity and self-respect if she sees you doing it.

18. When you lose your temper or make a mistake, apologize. Say that you are sorry, be specific about what you are sorry for, and give him a chance to respond.

19. When you know that you have disappointed him, acknowledge it. Ask him how he feels about it.

20. Spend time alone with her. Arrange activities for just the two of you.

21. Ask him what he would like to do.

22. Give her a private space where she can express herself.

23. Respect his privacy.

24. If he did a good job on something, say so.

25. If she didn't do such a good job on something, point out what she did well.

26. After a disappointment or failure, ask, "What did you learn from the experience?"

27. When you are giving feedback, describe specific behavior. For example, "I like how you asked the question so politely" or "You still need to pick up the towels off the floor."

28. When there is a problem, focus on the issue, not the child. For example, "You didn't do the last ten problems on this assignment" is more constructive than "You never finish anything."

29. Ask what he thinks.

30. Let her be the one to choose the restaurant, movie, or activity some of the time.

31. Ask him to go with you on routine errands just because you want to spend some time with him.

32. Touch her when you talk to her.

33. Give him a hug at least every few days.

34. Go in and say goodnight before she goes to sleep. (This is easy to forget once they become teenagers.)

35. Look up and smile when he walks into the room.

36. Introduce yourself when she is with a new friend.

37. Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading or the movie she just saw.

38. Review child development literature regularly to stay updated on what is normal at each age and stage. It is important to recheck your standards and expectations to be sure they are realistic for the child's age and individual abilities.

39. Look for ways to maintain your own self-esteem. If you are unhappy, discontent, or disappointed in how your life is turning out, it will be difficult for you to build the self-esteem of your children.

40. Every child needs to be the object of a parent's undivided attention on a regular basis.

41. Make certain that your body language matches your words. If they are out of synch, he will be aware of it.

42. Be yourself. Tell the truth.

43. Be appropriate. You don't have to say everything that is on your mind or tell him things he isn't ready to know.

44. If you show that you accept yourself and your actions, you give permission to her to do the same.

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.

apartment cleaning near Highland Park ..

In The News:

Holiday scams spike during Black Friday and Cyber Monday as criminals exploit your leaked personal data. Learn how to protect yourself from fake stores and phishing.

Commerce Department proposes TP-Link router ban over Chinese security risks. Learn how this potential prohibition could affect your home network and devices.

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem

Parenting