Recently I took my two children to a popular new park in the area. It's a beautiful new playground, all wood, divided into different areas of play for different age groups. It's wonderful for me as well, as my children can play at age appropriate areas and I can see/interact with both of them at the same time. This is what makes it our entire family's favorite playground, as well that for many other families in the area.
When we arrived at the park this particular day, there was only one other family there. It was extremely hot, and I told my kids we'd only be able to stay for a small amount of time. I wanted them to wear themselves out a bit, but not pass out. I assumed my normal location on a wooden bench and settled down, knowing that I would be able to see and hear whatever my children were doing. It didn't take long before I noticed a problem.
There's this really neat seat swing that my daughter (4) loves to swing in. She had taken up a position standing by the swing, waiting for it's occupants to finish. After 10 minutes, I saw her run past me saying "no, leave me alone, I don't want to play" to a smaller child who was chasing her. This smaller child belonged to the occupant of the swing. That occupant, was her Mother.
In the Mothers lap was a infant, approximately six to nine months old. There are infant swings right next to the red chair swing, but the Mother was enjoying the chair swing with the infant in her lap. When we had first arrived, I didn't think too much about it. Unusual, yes. A problem, no. Until now.
Now this Mother is glaring at my daughter, who is running away from her daughter, because the Mother is still in the swing my daughter is waiting for. Everytime my daughter walked near the swing to continue to wait for her turn, this other little girl followed her. Her Mother was alternating her glare between me and my daughter, so I suggested that we play somewhere else until they were done. My daughter said firmly "No". The Mother turned and fixed her death stare back on me, as if to say "what kind of parent are you?!". I replied to my daughter "That's fine, but you need to be nice to the other little girl". Now she also glared at me. I just couldn't win.
She stood there, waiting her turn for the swing another 5 minutes before the Mother got all huffy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and dragged her and the baby off to another side of the park. Once again she was glaring at me, keeping her eyes fixated us as she walked away. Cursing at me I'm sure. I apologized to her, because obviously, she thought we'd done something wrong. She didn't respond, kept that evil stare on us, and continued walking.
I wanted to cry, but instead I grabbed my daughter, told her that she shouldn't have been so rude to the little girl (after all, that's what little girls do, follow bigger girls around) and put her in the swing. I pushed her for about two minutes, called for my son, and headed to the car. In order to get there, we had to pass the other Mom on the way out, so once again I apologized, thinking naively maybe she hadn't heard me the first time.
Again, I got the stare of death and no response.
In the car, my son wanted to know what had happened. I wasn't even sure. "What had we done wrong??? Why was I apologizing to this strange, bitter Mother?" I thought to myself.
Then the answer came to me. Because I'm a nice person. That's it, pure and simple. I don't like seeing other people upset.
So, I told my son (and daughter) that what the other Mother had done was wrong. Instead of asking my daughter if she'd like a turn, or even addressing her with a simple "I'm not done yet sweetie, it's going to be awhile" she just kept swinging. Ignoring her, as if she didn't exist. She put her needs in front of not only her other childs, but she broke the cardinal rule of Motherhood; she turned her back on another child. You just don't do that.
I personally don't feel she should have been on the swing at all. That as soon as we arrived and my daughter walked over, she should have offered to get up. However, just because that's what I would have done, doesn't mean that's how everyone should feel or act. That said, I won't budge in my belief that she was acting childishly, not only because she didn't address my daughter in some kind of friendly manner (after 20 minutes of waiting), but by the glaring and pouting she kept carrying on with. Shame on her.
A couple of days later, I wished I had done things differently. I wished I had approached the Mom and asked if we could have a turn on the swing. I wish I hadn't apologized for something that I don't feel was our fault. But most of all, I wish I'd never met her and her bitterness.
The moral of this story is, don't expect a parent to do the right thing, they can be just as selfish as children. Maybe even more so.
Amy Fleeman is a married Mother of two and a loyal but overzealous beagle. Amy is the co-owner of http://www.raisingourkids.com and enjoys sharing her opinions and life experiences with the site visitors and newsletter readers. To hear more crazy stories and strong opinions, (along with rational parenting advice and some freebies) subscribe to RaisingOurKids Newsletter by http://www.raisingourkids.com.
custom home cleaning Wilmette ..MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you... Read More
The choices are mind numbing. Walk into any toy store... Read More
So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the... Read More
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More
For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Do you know what these famous people have in common?Alexander... Read More
same day cleaning service Morton Grove ..Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
Information is gold when you are adopted. Every tiny piece... Read More
"I wipe my baby's chin with my college diploma and... Read More
Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along... Read More
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
If you visit search engines you can find several resources... Read More
This past holiday season Canadians spent over $45 billion-with parents... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
Question 1 "How do I get more time to play?"... Read More
If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More
How excited do kids get with the start of school... Read More
We want our children to do the right thing, especially... Read More
Is it possible to be using our children addictively?Anything that... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving... Read More
Parenting |