Pipe Down!

Life is funny.

My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new summer job as a nanny for three small children. She's an aspiring operatic soprano who was whisked off to a rich suburb near Manhattan the day after her finals had ended at the Eastman School of Music. Her mother and I miss her dreadfully. Thank God for our Family Talk Plan!

Last night, she called home and as we discussed my upcoming book signing at Borders, she called out, "You two need to pipe down and go to sleep! I don't want to hear one more peep out of you!"

I doubled over with laughter. The tears streamed down my cheeks. The tone and emphasis was identical to my own words uttered night after night to Melanie and her twin sister, Allison, when they were little. When she came back on the phone, she joined in my laughter.

"You know, Dad, it's weird. I'm turning into you and mom. I'm so strict, I'm worried all the time about them! I hear you in my own voice each time I talk to them! And when did I learn all the lyrics to these Raffi songs?"

I thought about her comments as I drove past Wal-Mart tonight. A mom and her two teenaged daughters walked directly in front of my van. They crossed the road without taking a second to check for traffic. I couldn't relate. Not one bit. I still put my hand in front of people's chests when we approach a road crossing. My friends get a bit annoyed with me, but old habits are hard to break

I was about thirty years old the first time I realized how much like my own father I'd become. I got up from a chair and grunted. Just like Dad. I walked across the floorboards with loud, heavy footfalls. Just like Dad. And I reacted to a glass of spilled juice with the same, "Argh!" Just like Dad.

This parenting thing and the cycles that propel us through life are puzzling. For the past twenty-two years, I've defined myself as a father. It was the all-encompassing label that described me. More than engineer, more than husband, more than passionate gardener, more than aspiring author ? it fit. Life was chauffeuring Jennifer to band practice, Allison to her dance lessons, and Melanie to play rehearsals. It was helping with homework, doing mountains of laundry, and trying to cook for an army on Sundays so we'd have nutritious, albeit monotonous, meals all week. It meant leaving work early to make Allison's cross country meets, designing tee shirts to promote the school musicals, and helping Jenn find a decent car for no money.

Now that my girls are women and my grandsons have arrived, I've begun to define myself as a grandfather. And I like it. A lot.

Like I said, life is funny.

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending "time" with the French Impressionists whenever possible.

Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his "two little buddies" to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. http://www.legardemysteries.com

cheapest limo Akin .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says using outdated computers and software leaves them vulnerable to security risks and malware.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how WalkON enhances walking and jogging with sensors and artificial tendons.

Old-fashioned check fraud is back in style, quintupling over the past year. Here are a few low-tech, practical means of protecting yourself.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how 600,000-plus records, including checks and property data, were left exposed online by an information service provider.

That weird text from a friend may actually be from a hacker. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson tells you what signs to look out for.

Scammers can wreak havoc on your life just by having your phone number. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson addresses how to avoid becoming a victim.

PongBot is an artificial intelligence-powered tennis robot and a smart training partner available to play 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to update your iPhone to add Apple Intelligence, which he says can transform your interactions with your phone.

University scientists have trained a robotic surgical system to do work with the skill of human doctors, possibly transforming the future of surgeries.

As more companies implement artificial intelligence for daily tasks, some industry leaders are working to push back against certain aspects of the technology.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says the Batagaika crater in Siberia expands 35 million cubic feet yearly due to thawing.

While fewer than 30% of farmers reportedly use emerging technologies like artificial intelligence, experts believe AI could help producers and farmers make food quicker and more efficiently.

Amazon becomes a prime target of scammers during the holiday shopping season trying to steal Social Security numbers, bank information and Amazon credentials.

Spammers have found a way to target Spotify playlists and podcasts to push pirated software, cheat codes for games and spam links and malware sites.

Sharing information online like your vacation plans and relationship status can make you a target for scammers; here's what to avoid posting to keep yourself safe.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explores six sneaky holiday season gift card tricks, providing tips on how to outsmart scammers trying to rip you off.

Apple Watch's Translate app gives you your own personal interpreter, allowing you to have live two-way conversations in up to 20 different languages.

With kids facing a seemingly increasing amount of threats from creeps on the internet, here's how you can respectfully ask people not to post photos of your children on social media.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to regain your Facebook access if you get hacked or locked out.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to safeguard retirement accounts from cyber threats with a VPN: encryption, anonymity, secure access.

I’m going to Europe soon, and planning my trip was a breeze. Yes, really! AI did a big chunk of the work for me — and it can help you plan your next getaway, too.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says North Korean hackers hide malware in macOS apps, bypassing Mac security checks.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how iPhone’s new Automatic Mic Mode adjusts settings for optimal call quality automatically.

Jeff Hancock, an expert on AI and misinformation, has been accused of fabricating an expert declaration by citing a study that was allegedly made up by AI.

Pipe Down!

Parenting