Home
>
Parenting
>
Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's sake!'

I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting before me, and the disbelief on the face of the mother who uttered these words.

I was a Guidance Counsellor in a city high school, and the girl's performance had slumped in recent weeks. Her mother couldn't believe it might possibly be related to the loss of the girl's pet cat.

It became obvious that there wasn't much of a bond between mother and daughter. So over the years the girl's need to receive and GIVE affection had been transferred to her cat. Now that the cat had passed on, the girl was devastated.

What made matters worse was her mother's total lack of insight.

Studies carried out by veterinary associations in the UK suggest that most kids will have a pet of some kind at some time: cats, dogs, mice, hamsters - whatever! - and it's probably the same in other countries.

Since kids' pets are so common, it's well for parents to be aware of the impact they can have on their children's lives.

Psychologists talk of the 'human - companion animal bond', which can be as strong as any human-to-human bond. Or even stronger, as in the case of the girl above.

So when the loss, illness or death of a pet occurs, the impact can be just as devastating.

Many families (parents as well as kids) will be familiar with the grief and devastation brought on by the death of a faithful dog.

But some parents think that the death of a mouse or fish is no big deal. It's a tiny animal, so no great loss!

They fail to realise that the attachment or BOND between child and animal is not measured by the animal's size! It's the level of emotional investment that counts.

In fact we now know that the reaction to a pet's death can go through exactly the same process as that of the loss of a loved one.

Denial (No, he'll be okay. He can't have died!)

Bargaining (If I get him back I'll look after him properly this time!)

Anger (It's the vet's fault. OR I should have done this or that!)

Grief (There's a void in my life now!)

Moving On (He'll always be in my heart, but I'm coping now)

How can we help our kids cope with this complex process?

Obviously, the first thing is to recognise the impact of the loss, and we can learn from the example of the mother above.

It also goes without saying that we must encourage our kids to express their grief and explore their feelings.

And we must also recognise the value of a 'rite of passage'. This is a ceremony, simple or otherwise, whereby the participants realise they have moved from one situation or status to another.

Following the death of a pet, this can be a burial or a memorial ceremony. As parents we MUST attend - it's not some simple game the kids are playing in the backyard!

It's a deeply emotional, psychological coming to terms with a potentially devastating loss.

Encourage the kids, then, to treat it seriously. Let them pick or buy flowers. Let them draw pictures, write poems and/or sing songs. Let them say prayers of gratitude for the companionship they enjoyed. Let them express their grief!

Then, at all costs, avoid the temptation to supply a 'replacement' pet. Kids must have time to EXPERIENCE the void, so that they can come to terms with it and in due time move on.

At that point 'another' pet (not a 'replacement') can be considered.

Experiencing both the joys and loss of a pet can be a sound emotional training for the unpredictability of life.

By treating this aspect of their childhood seriously and sensitively we can do our kids an immense favour.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html.

best cleaning company Highland Park ..

In The News:

The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.

Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.

Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.

Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.

Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.

Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.

Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.

Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.

Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

Parenting