Home
>
Parenting
>
Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's sake!'

I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting before me, and the disbelief on the face of the mother who uttered these words.

I was a Guidance Counsellor in a city high school, and the girl's performance had slumped in recent weeks. Her mother couldn't believe it might possibly be related to the loss of the girl's pet cat.

It became obvious that there wasn't much of a bond between mother and daughter. So over the years the girl's need to receive and GIVE affection had been transferred to her cat. Now that the cat had passed on, the girl was devastated.

What made matters worse was her mother's total lack of insight.

Studies carried out by veterinary associations in the UK suggest that most kids will have a pet of some kind at some time: cats, dogs, mice, hamsters - whatever! - and it's probably the same in other countries.

Since kids' pets are so common, it's well for parents to be aware of the impact they can have on their children's lives.

Psychologists talk of the 'human - companion animal bond', which can be as strong as any human-to-human bond. Or even stronger, as in the case of the girl above.

So when the loss, illness or death of a pet occurs, the impact can be just as devastating.

Many families (parents as well as kids) will be familiar with the grief and devastation brought on by the death of a faithful dog.

But some parents think that the death of a mouse or fish is no big deal. It's a tiny animal, so no great loss!

They fail to realise that the attachment or BOND between child and animal is not measured by the animal's size! It's the level of emotional investment that counts.

In fact we now know that the reaction to a pet's death can go through exactly the same process as that of the loss of a loved one.

Denial (No, he'll be okay. He can't have died!)

Bargaining (If I get him back I'll look after him properly this time!)

Anger (It's the vet's fault. OR I should have done this or that!)

Grief (There's a void in my life now!)

Moving On (He'll always be in my heart, but I'm coping now)

How can we help our kids cope with this complex process?

Obviously, the first thing is to recognise the impact of the loss, and we can learn from the example of the mother above.

It also goes without saying that we must encourage our kids to express their grief and explore their feelings.

And we must also recognise the value of a 'rite of passage'. This is a ceremony, simple or otherwise, whereby the participants realise they have moved from one situation or status to another.

Following the death of a pet, this can be a burial or a memorial ceremony. As parents we MUST attend - it's not some simple game the kids are playing in the backyard!

It's a deeply emotional, psychological coming to terms with a potentially devastating loss.

Encourage the kids, then, to treat it seriously. Let them pick or buy flowers. Let them draw pictures, write poems and/or sing songs. Let them say prayers of gratitude for the companionship they enjoyed. Let them express their grief!

Then, at all costs, avoid the temptation to supply a 'replacement' pet. Kids must have time to EXPERIENCE the void, so that they can come to terms with it and in due time move on.

At that point 'another' pet (not a 'replacement') can be considered.

Experiencing both the joys and loss of a pet can be a sound emotional training for the unpredictability of life.

By treating this aspect of their childhood seriously and sensitively we can do our kids an immense favour.

Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html.

limousine airport Glendale Heights .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

The Reachy 2 robot is designed to be friendly and approachable, inviting natural interaction and is perfect for research, education and experimenting with embodied AI.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares several easy ways to keep your credit cards safe from digital thieves while you're traveling this summer.

Arcturus sets up cameras around the edges of baseball stadiums to capture real-time action and generate a 3D digital clone of the game.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The CyberGuy explains why healthcare organizations are vulnerable to hackers after there have been a half dozen data breaches this year.

Developed at two California universities, the innovative technology combines brain-computer interfaces with advanced AI to decode neural activity into audible speech.

Microsoft patches 12 critical flaws, but six have already been exploited by criminals. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says updating your system is only a short-term fix.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how robots can milk, feed and clean cows on dairy farms, boosting efficiency and comfort.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says quantum internet ensures unhackable security and redefines online privacy and speed.

Kawasaki's CORLEO is a hydrogen-powered, AI-driven rideable robot. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports on this new way of thinking about off-road transportation.

The CyberGuy breaks down five mobile privacy terms that could make a difference when it comes to keeping your personal information safe.

A groundbreaking robot that's like a real-life Wall-E uses advanced artificial intelligence to replicate natural gestures and deliberate actions with striking accuracy.

If not properly managed, Windows Defender Application Control, a security feature with Windows, could be a potential security vulnerability.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

FlashBot Arm, a semi-humanoid robot, acts more like a human than traditional robots, and you may see it working at a restaurant, healthcare center or hotel.

There are multiple ways to find your missing Android phone after it goes missing. One method involves using a smartwatch to ping your phone.

The NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System is a new device with FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.

The CyberGuy provides tips to protect yourself from criminals who use various methods to make unauthorized transactions using your account information.

New drone technology maps land and water with stunning accuracy, giving researchers and conservationists a new way to understand our planet.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

X hit with massive data breach with 200 million records leaked, including emails. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers seven tips to help protect yourself.

Atlas robot by Boston Dynamics amazes tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson with its breakdancing moves.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Google kept Android SafetyCore details quiet until it scanned users' photos.

Hydrogen trucks debut in Georgia, sparking debates on costs and green freight gains. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson comments on this promising chapter in green logistics evolution.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says ChatGPT learns from chats, but you should avoid sharing sensitive information to protect your privacy.

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

Parenting