There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when they receive validation for the way they are living, or, have lived, that life. These moments are usually quiet ones, with no fanfare celebrating the occasion. Yet, the importance of these moments has no equal. To those of us who have given of our time, our love, our care, ourselves, they are of far greater private, personal significance, than can be stated.
A few years ago, I found myself in a personally trying situation. It was during this period that I was paid what I feel will be the finest compliment I shall ever receive. It concerned my conduct during this time. My eldest daughter remarked that she believed me to be the most honorable person she would ever know. For me, as a parent, it was a defining moment.
I was blessed with another such moment recently, courtesy of my eldest grandson. Although he's a teenager now, we maintain the close relationship begun in his early years. We enjoy conversing. No subject is taboo, and he feels free to discuss whatever is of interest to him, or of concern. On this particular occasion, he was endeavoring to put into words, his feelings concerning something that was of great importance to him. By his demeanor, his urgency of voice, I realized this was something with which he had been struggling.
He began by seeking my opinion. What did I think of people who were always changing? Well, I remarked, in life, it's good to remain flexible. Narrow-minded thinking limits a person's potential. He shook his head. No, he wasn't talking about that. He said he realized a person must have an open mind. He was speaking of how people live their lives. I listened to him, as he continued endeavoring to impart his meaning to me. Suddenly the meaning dawned on me. I asked if he were talking about personal honor. Was he referring to the personal rules of conduct we adopt for ourselves, the morals we choose? Yes, he replied, that was it exactly! Why, he wanted to know, did people sometimes abandon these? Wasn't that like not being true to yourself? Didn't they feel bad about themselves? Wasn't that like letting your self down?
I looked at this young man, this human being for whom I feel so much love, and chose my next words with great care. Yes, son, I said to him, it's letting your self down. Choosing actions that go against your personal code of honor diminishes you, as a human being. Even during the most trying times in life, especially during those times, remaining true to your self is of utmost importance. Even when certain actions are perfectly acceptable to others, or when they seem to be the easier choices, or when said actions may in some way benefit you in the short term. In the end, if they go against your core beliefs, you will carry the ill consequences with you, for the rest of your life.
He listened intently to my words. I could see him weighing them, mulling over the concept. He then nodded, and replied that yes, he understood. He went on to say that there were things he felt he would not, could not do, and stay true to himself. He stated what I had told him was like when a person does something wrong, and even if no one else ever knows, the person who does the act carries the guilt of it. He remarked that he hoped he would be strong enough, in life, to never let him self down. I replied that I had great faith in the fact that he would indeed, have enough strength. He smiled, and said, I love you Grams. In a voice touched with deep pride, and sincere affection, I replied that I was rather fond of him, too.
There are moments, in the lives of parents and grandparents...
Jeannine Schenewerk is a freelance writer residing in Atlanta, Georgia. She maintains an informative, upbeat site for mature women at: http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com
Batchtown Chicago prom limo .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More
4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More
What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More
As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More
shuttle from Midway Munster are ..Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
Jason Meridith's two-year old son whines when he wants more... Read More
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are... Read More
the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like... Read More
It's back to school time again. Does the thought of... Read More
Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking,... Read More
One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may... Read More
WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More
I never dreamed that I would be in a position... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Little Suzy has really been having a hard time getting... Read More
Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More
Most people with children want to be good parents. The... Read More
Parenting |