Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or interviews to pass. Children can become parents, mentally disabled people ? it's even possible to become a parent while in a coma!
When my mother, who is a truly great parent still, became a mom the first time, she was 19 and had very little experience with children. The hospital gave her 1 piece of paper with instructions and sent her on her way. Dolls come with more instructions than that!
We sometimes take for granted all the information at our fingertips today that didn't exist as recently as 30 years ago. When I was a baby, if it wasn't in Dr. Spock's book, Mom was on her own. Today, parents are overwhelmed with information, often conflicting, and are often, as my mother was, on their own, but with more opportunities to make an informed decision.
I have been approached many times for advice on parenting by not only parents, but also prospective parents thinking ahead. The advise I always give is: Pay Attention.
As our children grow from the highly tactical stages into more strategic years, paying attention becomes more critical. Pay attention to who their friends are, starting at an early age. You can learn a lot about your own child by getting to know their friends. You may also want to limit exposure to some kids ? you're allowed to do that. (I've been known to say that I didn't want a child at my house, but always give a reasonable reason why.)
Also, talk with your children. The subject matter isn't always important during the younger ages, but keeping those lines of communication open will become more critical as they grow. When they have a problem with another child, role play with them. You be your child and have them play the part of the 'perpetrator'. You'll be teaching them how to handle their own problems as well as good communication skills. Keep in mind that a 7-year-old doesn't always have the vocabulary they need to express themselves ? you need to teach them.
Pay attention to what your child reads and the language she uses. Get to know her teachers and principal. Talk with other parents about their experiences for comparison. Pay attention to what your children wear, what their friends wear and current fashion. Keep it weather appropriate and pick your battles. Too much belly showing may be inappropriate for a 10 year old. Watch for gang-type clothing or accessories. These choices in our young children can be indicative of a problem requiring your intervention, so pay attention.
As your children grow older, they still need you to demonstrate that you care by setting strong boundaries on their behavior. My mother never needed to enforce much of a curfew on me since all my friends had them and there wasn't much going on late in Rapid City, SD. She insisted, however, on knowing where I was and who I was with AT ALL TIMES ? even after I had my own car.
Pay attention to how your children spend their money ? start young. Teaching fiscal responsibility is one of the most important items on your job description. Modeling irresponsibility and debt acquisition will not help your kids grow into fiscally responsible adults. Teach your boys and girls how to save, shop for the best price, budget, work, balance a checkbook, invest, etc.
Along those same lines, teach your children to cook and clean, and require some of these jobs as their contribution to the family team ? and start early here, too. My 8 year old began cooking this year ? canned soup and Kraft macaroni and cheese! Model good eating habits and teach them to do menu planning and grocery shopping. When they leave home, you will want them to do their own laundry ? trust me!
The bottom line is: You are preparing human beings for adulthood. If your offspring are happy during the process, that's wonderful, but not the primary directive. Being happy all the time is simply not realistic anyway. When they leave you around age 18, they need to know how to get along with people, get and hold a job, manage their money and their time, be responsible for their behavior and potentially lead others.
There is much, much more to parenting than I can write here. Please feel free to contact me for a parenting discussion any time!
About The Author
Audrey Burton, Business and Life Coach. Audrey is a caring, but no-nonsense coach. Audrey's ultimate goal is to help women to be happy with their work and life. She keeps you focused and motivated by helping you set priorities according to only your agenda. To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter and to better understand how she works, visit her website at http://www.audreyburton.com. You only live once ? love your life today!
family-safe home cleaners Morton Grove ..Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
The advances in science over the past century have been... Read More
As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room... Read More
Are you glad for the chance to put your child... Read More
Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More
One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
Research published by University of Rochester neuroscientists C. Shawn Green... Read More
Your child's teacher says that you need to find out... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who... Read More
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
It was a hot summer day in august and The... Read More
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard,... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comLegacy to Your ChildrenIt's 6:30... Read More
home cleaning services Wilmette ..The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More
Reading to your child at a young age is one... Read More
'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that... Read More
Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More
If you're looking for toys that are both fun to... Read More
College is one of the largest expenses through the course... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More
Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More
As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More
Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
Parenting |