Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or interviews to pass. Children can become parents, mentally disabled people ? it's even possible to become a parent while in a coma!
When my mother, who is a truly great parent still, became a mom the first time, she was 19 and had very little experience with children. The hospital gave her 1 piece of paper with instructions and sent her on her way. Dolls come with more instructions than that!
We sometimes take for granted all the information at our fingertips today that didn't exist as recently as 30 years ago. When I was a baby, if it wasn't in Dr. Spock's book, Mom was on her own. Today, parents are overwhelmed with information, often conflicting, and are often, as my mother was, on their own, but with more opportunities to make an informed decision.
I have been approached many times for advice on parenting by not only parents, but also prospective parents thinking ahead. The advise I always give is: Pay Attention.
As our children grow from the highly tactical stages into more strategic years, paying attention becomes more critical. Pay attention to who their friends are, starting at an early age. You can learn a lot about your own child by getting to know their friends. You may also want to limit exposure to some kids ? you're allowed to do that. (I've been known to say that I didn't want a child at my house, but always give a reasonable reason why.)
Also, talk with your children. The subject matter isn't always important during the younger ages, but keeping those lines of communication open will become more critical as they grow. When they have a problem with another child, role play with them. You be your child and have them play the part of the 'perpetrator'. You'll be teaching them how to handle their own problems as well as good communication skills. Keep in mind that a 7-year-old doesn't always have the vocabulary they need to express themselves ? you need to teach them.
Pay attention to what your child reads and the language she uses. Get to know her teachers and principal. Talk with other parents about their experiences for comparison. Pay attention to what your children wear, what their friends wear and current fashion. Keep it weather appropriate and pick your battles. Too much belly showing may be inappropriate for a 10 year old. Watch for gang-type clothing or accessories. These choices in our young children can be indicative of a problem requiring your intervention, so pay attention.
As your children grow older, they still need you to demonstrate that you care by setting strong boundaries on their behavior. My mother never needed to enforce much of a curfew on me since all my friends had them and there wasn't much going on late in Rapid City, SD. She insisted, however, on knowing where I was and who I was with AT ALL TIMES ? even after I had my own car.
Pay attention to how your children spend their money ? start young. Teaching fiscal responsibility is one of the most important items on your job description. Modeling irresponsibility and debt acquisition will not help your kids grow into fiscally responsible adults. Teach your boys and girls how to save, shop for the best price, budget, work, balance a checkbook, invest, etc.
Along those same lines, teach your children to cook and clean, and require some of these jobs as their contribution to the family team ? and start early here, too. My 8 year old began cooking this year ? canned soup and Kraft macaroni and cheese! Model good eating habits and teach them to do menu planning and grocery shopping. When they leave home, you will want them to do their own laundry ? trust me!
The bottom line is: You are preparing human beings for adulthood. If your offspring are happy during the process, that's wonderful, but not the primary directive. Being happy all the time is simply not realistic anyway. When they leave you around age 18, they need to know how to get along with people, get and hold a job, manage their money and their time, be responsible for their behavior and potentially lead others.
There is much, much more to parenting than I can write here. Please feel free to contact me for a parenting discussion any time!
About The Author
Audrey Burton, Business and Life Coach. Audrey is a caring, but no-nonsense coach. Audrey's ultimate goal is to help women to be happy with their work and life. She keeps you focused and motivated by helping you set priorities according to only your agenda. To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter and to better understand how she works, visit her website at http://www.audreyburton.com. You only live once ? love your life today!
Airbnb cleaning service Glenview .."How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother... Read More
A while ago I received this story from David in... Read More
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
It's been raining for a week and the kids and... Read More
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More
Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Did you know that you are the most important person... Read More
1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More
Many families do not want to believe their child is... Read More
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Corolle Paul or Emma Drink-and-Wet SET potty dollsThis is the... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More
Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one... Read More
Elana, born in Russia, was told "We really don't know... Read More
It can be difficult on all family members to have... Read More
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems?... Read More
So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More
efficient cleaning crew Highland Park ..Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More
If you had to spend 4 or 5 hours in... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is... Read More
In the last few years, parents started getting more and... Read More
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More
Once upon a time, I thought I had it all.... Read More
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't... Read More
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More
On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson,... Read More
Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More
Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More
How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
How often do you think of family life as an... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your... Read More
Parenting |