Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or interviews to pass. Children can become parents, mentally disabled people ? it's even possible to become a parent while in a coma!
When my mother, who is a truly great parent still, became a mom the first time, she was 19 and had very little experience with children. The hospital gave her 1 piece of paper with instructions and sent her on her way. Dolls come with more instructions than that!
We sometimes take for granted all the information at our fingertips today that didn't exist as recently as 30 years ago. When I was a baby, if it wasn't in Dr. Spock's book, Mom was on her own. Today, parents are overwhelmed with information, often conflicting, and are often, as my mother was, on their own, but with more opportunities to make an informed decision.
I have been approached many times for advice on parenting by not only parents, but also prospective parents thinking ahead. The advise I always give is: Pay Attention.
As our children grow from the highly tactical stages into more strategic years, paying attention becomes more critical. Pay attention to who their friends are, starting at an early age. You can learn a lot about your own child by getting to know their friends. You may also want to limit exposure to some kids ? you're allowed to do that. (I've been known to say that I didn't want a child at my house, but always give a reasonable reason why.)
Also, talk with your children. The subject matter isn't always important during the younger ages, but keeping those lines of communication open will become more critical as they grow. When they have a problem with another child, role play with them. You be your child and have them play the part of the 'perpetrator'. You'll be teaching them how to handle their own problems as well as good communication skills. Keep in mind that a 7-year-old doesn't always have the vocabulary they need to express themselves ? you need to teach them.
Pay attention to what your child reads and the language she uses. Get to know her teachers and principal. Talk with other parents about their experiences for comparison. Pay attention to what your children wear, what their friends wear and current fashion. Keep it weather appropriate and pick your battles. Too much belly showing may be inappropriate for a 10 year old. Watch for gang-type clothing or accessories. These choices in our young children can be indicative of a problem requiring your intervention, so pay attention.
As your children grow older, they still need you to demonstrate that you care by setting strong boundaries on their behavior. My mother never needed to enforce much of a curfew on me since all my friends had them and there wasn't much going on late in Rapid City, SD. She insisted, however, on knowing where I was and who I was with AT ALL TIMES ? even after I had my own car.
Pay attention to how your children spend their money ? start young. Teaching fiscal responsibility is one of the most important items on your job description. Modeling irresponsibility and debt acquisition will not help your kids grow into fiscally responsible adults. Teach your boys and girls how to save, shop for the best price, budget, work, balance a checkbook, invest, etc.
Along those same lines, teach your children to cook and clean, and require some of these jobs as their contribution to the family team ? and start early here, too. My 8 year old began cooking this year ? canned soup and Kraft macaroni and cheese! Model good eating habits and teach them to do menu planning and grocery shopping. When they leave home, you will want them to do their own laundry ? trust me!
The bottom line is: You are preparing human beings for adulthood. If your offspring are happy during the process, that's wonderful, but not the primary directive. Being happy all the time is simply not realistic anyway. When they leave you around age 18, they need to know how to get along with people, get and hold a job, manage their money and their time, be responsible for their behavior and potentially lead others.
There is much, much more to parenting than I can write here. Please feel free to contact me for a parenting discussion any time!
About The Author
Audrey Burton, Business and Life Coach. Audrey is a caring, but no-nonsense coach. Audrey's ultimate goal is to help women to be happy with their work and life. She keeps you focused and motivated by helping you set priorities according to only your agenda. To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter and to better understand how she works, visit her website at http://www.audreyburton.com. You only live once ? love your life today!
recurring maid service Wilmette ..Although many parents are concerned with our children's intelligence quotient... Read More
Very often, new parents rely on a parenting tip or... Read More
When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More
Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More
It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More
The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not... Read More
I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western... Read More
Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out... Read More
Giving with a happy heart. If you teach a child... Read More
Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More
Many of us have grown up drinking caffeinated diet sodas... Read More
For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More
Spare the rod, spoil the child!This philosophy's been around a... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
There may really be a real monster under your kid???s... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More
Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical,... Read More
Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person... Read More
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and... Read More
No matter how old your children are, you have an... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More
One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More
Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More
Parenting |