Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe, groan, and grumble? Do you worry about your child's attitude? If so, maybe your child's thinking cap is crooked. If it is, you can help. First, understand what's going haywire under that cap. Second, learn how too many crooked thoughts create crummy thinking habits. Third, teach your child how to straighten his thinking cap and grow into a person of character.
Does your child look, talk, and, feel sad? Perhaps you said "No" to watching TV, or didn't buy a toy she wanted, or you had to cancel a fun event. It's perfectly OK for your child to feel sad. It's not OK when your child broods and feels deeply depressed over every hurt and disappointment. It's time to help her adjust her thinking cap.
Perhaps your child looks, talks, and feels angry. Maybe you restricted him because of fighting, or told him to quit sassing, or caught him bullying his little brother. It's natural for a child to feel frustrated when things don't go his way but it is not all right for him to fuel his frustrations with grudges and hateful thoughts. It's time to help him adjust his thinking cap.
Let's say your child looks, talks, and feels worthless for making mistakes. Maybe your child tries to be too perfect and feels regretful when she is not. Maybe she thinks you'll be disappointed if her report card isn't excellent, or if she breaks a dish or spills her milk. It's OK if she feels regret but expanding her regrets into crushing guilt is not. It's time to help her adjust her thinking cap.
Does your child look, talk, and feel worried? Does he play it safe and avoid challenges? Is he unwilling to try new things? Does he care too much how others think of him? It's OK for him to feel concern about taking tests, speaking before his class, or when trying to make new friends but inflating his concerns into a habit of worry and fear is not. It's time to help him adjust his thinking cap.
Occasionally your child may slip into depression, anger, guilt or fear. To stay depressed, angry, guilty or fearful, your child will have to think a lot of negative thoughts. Lots of negative thoughts create a crooked thinking cap.
Perhaps you know adults with "bad" attitudes. Maybe they pity themselves and blame others. Perhaps they look for insults and exaggerate hurts. Maybe they belittle themselves and apologize for every tiny mistake. These adults definitely have crooked thinking caps. To avoid this kind of future for your child and all the pain such thinking causes, let's find out two ways to adjust your child's thinking cap.
First, use your good judgment and know there are times when you need to go to your child's feelings. When your child seems too sad, too angry, too guilty, or too fearful, put your arm around your child and ask, "What's really wrong?" Listen. Don't try to change, correct, or put down your child's thoughts. Just listen. Let your child pour out her heart and listen. When your child is almost done, ask, "Is there more?" Then listen. Congratulations! You've probably relieved your child of painful emotion and cleared the air for a new beginning.
The second way to help your child straighten his thinking cap is called THOUGHT-STOPPING. It's best to teach this technique when your child is not upset and is in a mood to talk with you. The first step is to encourage your child to notice his negative self-talk, like "Everybody hates me." "It's not my fault." "I can't do it." The second step is to help your child recall three powerful images of him having done something good that felt great. Here are a few examples of images that may be powerful for your child:
Playing with her pet
Catching his first fish
Learning how to swim
Laughing so hard her sides ached
Doing a great job on his homework
Make sure your child is the one who chooses the positive images. Tell your child that each image must be more powerful than the negative thought.
Teach and practice the following several times when your child is in a good mood. That way your child will know how to use THOUGHT-STOPPING when she needs it.
When your child catches herself brooding on negative thoughts tell her to switch them to one of the positive images by yelling, "Stop!" inside her head to the negative thoughts. Tell your child to stay with the positive image for 30 seconds. (This prevents her from switching back to her negative thinking.) Time the 30 seconds so she'll know how long it is. Then have your child say, "I am in control." Your child will be too. She'll be in control of her thinking cap.
You have just explored what goes on under crooked thinking caps. You have learned how crooked thinkers grow into unhappy adults. You have also discovered two techniques to help your child straighten his/her thinking cap. Now it's time to teach these techniques to your child so that your child grows into a positive person of character.
For your ease and convenience, Jean Tracy has created thought-stopping charts with simple instructions and award stickers.
Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to build character in young hearts and growing minds. To raise your awesome kids with solid characters, sign up for her FREE Parenting Newsletter and download her FREE bonding activities, parenting tips, and parenting articles at, http://www.kidsdiscuss.com
efficient cleaning crew Lake Forest ..We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like... Read More
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More
As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
I could nearly fund my children's future education if I... Read More
We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how... Read More
A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still... Read More
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More
When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some... Read More
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More
green cleaning service Deerfield ..Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More
Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd... Read More
A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More
All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More
Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More
Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the... Read More
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the... Read More
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
A certain educator was once asked at what point should... Read More
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They... Read More
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
Did you know that the school system is only able... Read More
Parents, do you have children who do poorly in school,... Read More
If you're a single parent or a married couple on... Read More
Past experience with federal education programs predicts that the No... Read More
Parenting |