Dear Vijay,
I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.
Hope you can help me, M.J.
Dear M.J.,
This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise of concern for your children just proves that negative energies don't play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no mercy.
You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful they become.
Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to improve your mental/emotional landscape.
You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren't trying to go to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive direction.
Here is an idea to show you how this works:
Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are trying to forget!
The key is to remember that you aren't trying to fight with yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a positive direction.
If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.
Tip: You don't have to tell your friend that you are driving yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!
When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful (you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your redirection ideas. If the first one doesn't work, move right on to the next idea.
Here are some sample ideas:
When you immerse yourself in almost any positive direction with energy and concentration you will find that negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every facet of life.
Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.
Bless You,
Vijay
This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
About The Author
Lawrence Vijay Girard is the author of Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting. As well as, his popular children's book, The Adventures of Harry Fruitgarden. You can find his books at: http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
Please send your questions to http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
housekeepers near Park Ridge ..Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year,... Read More
In stepfamilies, big holiday expectations can lead to big disappointment--and... Read More
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
What you say and do about money has a profound... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
My wife and I have been working on a video... Read More
When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and... Read More
As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More
The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that... Read More
Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More
Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More
In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But... Read More
scheduled cleaning services Mundelein ..Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with... Read More
Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to... Read More
Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More
When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
Though you can cover even very long distances by car... Read More
Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It... Read More
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you... Read More
Everyone knows that exercise is good for your health. Exercising... Read More
Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children... Read More
"How many times do I have to tell you to... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More
My son is 6 yrs old. He came home the... Read More
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint... Read More
If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More
In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More
With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More
Parenting |