Dear Vijay,
I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.
Hope you can help me, M.J.
Dear M.J.,
This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise of concern for your children just proves that negative energies don't play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no mercy.
You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful they become.
Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to improve your mental/emotional landscape.
You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren't trying to go to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive direction.
Here is an idea to show you how this works:
Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are trying to forget!
The key is to remember that you aren't trying to fight with yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a positive direction.
If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.
Tip: You don't have to tell your friend that you are driving yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!
When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful (you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your redirection ideas. If the first one doesn't work, move right on to the next idea.
Here are some sample ideas:
When you immerse yourself in almost any positive direction with energy and concentration you will find that negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every facet of life.
Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.
Bless You,
Vijay
This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
About The Author
Lawrence Vijay Girard is the author of Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting. As well as, his popular children's book, The Adventures of Harry Fruitgarden. You can find his books at: http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
Please send your questions to http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
cleaning service near Bannockburn ..We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and... Read More
Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer... Read More
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many... Read More
For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times... Read More
There are many things to like about the television show... Read More
The question I have for you drives right to the... Read More
Demanding children ? children who have entitlement issues ? seem... Read More
Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More
If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More
pet-friendly home cleaners Mundelein ..We adopted our first child when he was three months... Read More
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing... Read More
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More
Many public schools not only fail to educate our children,... Read More
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Have you ever experienced one of those days when you... Read More
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household,... Read More
Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More
Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More
What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying... Read More
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More
To have reasonable expectations of our children is an important... Read More
When you think about it, probably the one thing that... Read More
I used to have a really challenging job. It was... Read More
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man... Read More
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
Parenting |