Dear Vijay,
I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home.
Hope you can help me, M.J.
Dear M.J.,
This really isn't a parenting question. It is a question about your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise of concern for your children just proves that negative energies don't play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no mercy.
You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful they become.
Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to improve your mental/emotional landscape.
You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren't trying to go to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive direction.
Here is an idea to show you how this works:
Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are trying to forget!
The key is to remember that you aren't trying to fight with yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a positive direction.
If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.
Tip: You don't have to tell your friend that you are driving yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!
When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful (you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your redirection ideas. If the first one doesn't work, move right on to the next idea.
Here are some sample ideas:
When you immerse yourself in almost any positive direction with energy and concentration you will find that negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every facet of life.
Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.
Bless You,
Vijay
This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
About The Author
Lawrence Vijay Girard is the author of Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting. As well as, his popular children's book, The Adventures of Harry Fruitgarden. You can find his books at: http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
Please send your questions to http://fruitgardenpublishing.com
efficient cleaning crew Lake Forest ..Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More
Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite... Read More
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More
Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More
Checking accounts are an absolute necessity these days. You can... Read More
Once upon a time there was a beautiful bird whose... Read More
Joey steps away from his time out chair "I won't... Read More
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More
There are two methods for teaching children to read; whole... Read More
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their... Read More
Why do some children still do best after divorce and... Read More
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
Search for Assurance: The Power of BelongingThe job hunt is... Read More
An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived... Read More
As parents and teachers, sometimes we want to praise, at... Read More
Maintaining a safe home environment for your childrenAs adults and... Read More
green cleaning service Deerfield ..There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More
Saturday mornings. Cold cereal and Scooby Doo. How many parents... Read More
It was a day that I will forever be etched... Read More
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
There is no doubt that the benefits of being a... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
Prioritize. Learn to say No. Steal some time for yourself.Don't... Read More
Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents... Read More
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More
My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when... Read More
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More
Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for... Read More
I have three children, ages 19 and 16 (yes, the... Read More
In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More
Every year over one million parents have to talk to... Read More
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More
While on a recent trip to the grocery store, I... Read More
Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Parenting |