"I don't know and I don't care."
I've heard those words more than a few times in my office. Sometimes I think "I don't know and I don't care" is the universal teen tribal motto.
So what to do?
I remember working with one kid who said absolutely nothing in the first session but "I don't know and I don't care" at least 10 times each.
So just before he came for his next session, I wrote "I don't know" on one side of a sheet of paper and "I don't care" on the other side. I then taped the piece of paper to the couch I thought he was most likely to sit on.
In comes the kid, cracks up laughing, tapes the paper to his shirt, and then begins to talk for the rest of the meeting.
3 Keys for How to Respond
I tell you the above story because it offers three keys on how to respond to "I don't know and I don't care."
1) Don't buy into what they are saying. It's just a way to try to get you to back off, and/or to see if you care enough to pursue them.
2) You simply must keep your sense of humor. Get hooked and get angry and you are dead in the water.
3) Do something different or unexpected. As parents we can become predictable.
If I can get parents to respond in ways that put a confused look on the face of a teen, I know we are getting somewhere.
A Fun Response
The next time you hear the words "I don't know" respond this way:
"Well, you know what, at your age it's OK not to know a whole lot. But if you did know, what would it be?"
I use this in my office all the time. Nine out of 10 times, the kid will answer and start talking.
One time out of 10 times a teen will respond with
"You are just asking the same question in a different way."
To which I respond
"You know what, you are right! And you have also just shown me how very bright you are, so quit playing dumb and answer the question."
In the face of the universal teen motto, remember:
Don't buy it, keep your sense of humor and don't get hooked.
Respond creatively and differently.
Visit parentingyourteenager.com to subscribe to Jeff Herring's free internet newsletter "Parenting Your Teenager" and the free 5 day e-program on the "5 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teenager."
elite cleaning services Mundelein ..Many people still think that the game of chess is... Read More
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
1. You reheated the same cup of coffee three times... Read More
Do you have a young child whose weight or eating... Read More
I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted... Read More
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys... Read More
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
In a single dose of children's television, I was bombarded... Read More
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More
Self esteem in an important quality for all children to... Read More
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do... Read More
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More
Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD.... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in... Read More
"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"Whether parent or... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Mundelein ..As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a... Read More
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More
Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made.... Read More
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose... Read More
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading... Read More
Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More
You have two kids who are 14 months apart. How... Read More
There are several treatment options available to help improve the... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More
The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the... Read More
O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More
If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More
While youth gangs are nothing new -- they've been traced... Read More
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Some public schools try to turn children against their parents... Read More
You are in the final round of your favorite game... Read More
Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with... Read More
Parenting |