Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking and even shocking bulletin for you:
According to research conducted at the prestigious-sounding Josephson Institute of Ethics in, of course, California, here are two startling pieces of information:
1) 92 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their parents at least once in the last year.
2) 78 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their teachers at least once in the past year.
Have you gotten up off the floor yet?
Please forgive my sarcasm, but to put it in the language of the age group surveyed:
Well, duh.
If you are the parent of a teen-ager, I doubt you are at all surprised by these findings.
The results of my own scientific poll, conducted in three days of talking with the teens and parents I see in my office, give us these comments on the subject of teens lying to parents and/or teachers:
Only 92 percent?
The other 8 percent are lying.
Like they are really going to be honest on some lame survey.
I hope my parents don't read that article.
And other things really not printable.
So is it wrong to lie to your parents and teachers?
Of course.
Is honesty an issue of integrity and character?
Of course.
Do teens lie to their parents and teachers?
Of course.
So let's deal with it.
Tips for teens
File this under the care and feeding of parents:
Parents would rather know the truth the first time, no matter how ugly and horrible it might be, than to find out later that you lied.
Although it's sometimes hard to believe, parents were teen-agers once themselves. Which means that they know the lying game, and if they are paying attention, have a fairly good idea of when their kids are lying.
Here's a basic decision you need to make that will greatly affect your living-at-home years: Are my parents the enemy and I have to lie to get around them and get what I think I want, or can my parents be guides I can consult and trust to get me out into the real world?
Tips for parents
Is it possible to be able to always tell when your kids are telling the truth or lying to you? Nope, haven't found that technology yet. But here are a few guidelines you can use that will give you a pretty good idea of what is really going on:
Does the story you are hearing match what you already know?
Does it match what the parents of your kids' friends and/or your neighbors tell you? (Are you talking to them?)
Does it match what your kids' teachers are telling you? (Are you talking to them?)
In how many ways can you check out anything that you are in doubt about?
Do your kids fidget or have difficulty looking you in the eye when they are talking to you?
Here's the one that has been my guide for 25 years of family counseling:
Does the behavior match the words?
Again, in the best of all possible worlds, kids won't lie simply because it is wrong and damages trust. Until we discover the best of all possible worlds, we'll just have to deal with what is.
In the meantime, let's be on the lookout for new surveys that will tell us that a high percentage of teen-agers like loud music and talking on the phone.
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
professional maid services Park Ridge ..If You're Having Twins..is it double the headache, or double... Read More
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More
A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time... Read More
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More
The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
Would you like your child to be the best that... Read More
Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother... Read More
The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges... Read More
Anyone can become a parent; there are no tests or... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
1. New Word of the DayIntroduce your preschooler to a... Read More
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus... Read More
Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve... Read More
Many parents seem to be more than a little confused... Read More
There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to... Read More
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
cleaning lady near Lincolnshire ..An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More
When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for,"... Read More
Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.... Read More
In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More
What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More
Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles... Read More
"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More
Levels of SafetyBy teaching our children there are different levels... Read More
Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among... Read More
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
What Children Look for in a Friend?Is this child fun... Read More
IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young... Read More
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing... Read More
One fantastic way to get your children involved in what... Read More
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Parenting |